Infidelity is the opposite of fidelity, and is a term that covers that one or both parties in a relationship have had a sexual relationship with an outside party, either a lover, if not an On Nigtn Stand. Some of the couples I have had in therapy also define infidelity as a situation where the partner on a communicatively confidential level has had close contact with another and that there has been talk about the problems in the relationship. This means that some people experience that their partner has been unfaithful to them if he or she has told about the relationship at home, even though there has been no mixed sexuality in this relationship.
However, the term itself seems a bit “square”, because when we are unfaithful to our partner, or our partner discovers that he has been downgraded and failed on a sexual basis, many emotions come into play.
And thus we are no longer talking about a “closet” where you can take “things” off the shelves and then close the closet, as if nothing had happened, no we are talking about a process that leaves wounds and powerlessness – and a lot questions about why it was necessary, what we lacked, what he / she has that I do not have, but also with the one who has been unfaithful, there can be terrible pangs of conscience and emotional confusion.
Some choose to keep side jumps and prolonged erotic relationships a secret from their daily partner, but usually “jump the bomb” at some point. And the wake-up call that an unfaithful behavior brings is most often the feeling of failure, deception, being betrayed, anger, hurt – and in many cases the deep anxiety that lies in most people is provoked to a greater or lesser degree, namely, the fear of being abandoned. An unfaithful behavior strikes us on a deep level, namely the plane of faith and trust, and when infidelity comes to light, a gap is automatically created between the parties in a relationship.
And both parties are faced with the question of whether they have the desire and interest to build a bridge over that gap. And thus it becomes one night stand after the Christmas lunch, the flirtation with a colleague who degenerated into something more, the erotic meeting after Monday’s badminton etc. very quickly a ghost that tones out in several contexts, if it is not immediately decided that the relationship must end. And this means that many couples experience that they are now no longer two, but three in the relationship.
Some break up when there has been infidelity inside the relationship.
There are many couples who choose to separate when there has been infidelity inside. On the grounds that it is no longer possible to trust each other, that it is uncertain whether there is love left in the relationship, and that feelings such as hatred, powerlessness and anger fill the relationship after infidelity.
However, some couples choose to stay together, even after infidelity.
Although there has been infidelity inside the picture, which is thus woven into a couple’s common story, there are still many couples who want to stay together. The reasons for making a cohabitation work again are many.
IN ALL THE FAMILIES WHERE THERE ARE CHILDREN, THE PROTECTION OF THE PROTECTOR AND CONSCIENCE APPEARS IN THE PARENTS,
and being a good bearer of culture and showing oneself and one’s children that one can handle crises is important to many. It is not necessarily easy, but the fact that there are children that you share in common to love unlimited, is the most important factor for most people to start navigating a slightly chaotic sea of emotions. There are also many who, despite the fact that one partner has chosen an erotic adventure, choose to look each other in the eye and weigh the pros and cons in terms of.
SEVERAL VOTERS WHEN THE GREAT PERSPECTIVE IS ON TO SAY THAT THE END RESULT ON THE BOTTOM LINE IS MAINLY POSITIVE,
and that a sidestep or infidelity should not knock them off the stick. It can feel overwhelming when an infidelity is rolled out, and the level of detail can be extremely painful. But as I said, it can feel and seem even more confusing to choose divorce, as it will affect mutual friends, family relationships, activities and all the structure that you as a couple have automatically built up over time.
FAITH ALWAYS STARTS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. MANY ENDDA.
Many come before they come to me, even to analyze what it is that you as partners have forgotten over time. I very often hear of spouses who see infidelity as a sign of illness in the relationship, and that the efforts are therefore directed towards making the relationship healthy again. There are many women who, after giving birth and on busy weekdays, lose the desire for familiar and boring sex with their husband, and inside the soreness can well understand that the man has needed something else. That it is not durable in the long run, with a third party on the sidelines, is also clear to most. So that’s why I often touch on the subject of eroticism and intimacy with the couples who come here. Sex is much more than having fun under the duvet; nor is it usually purely sexual that is frustrating.
WHEN EVERYTHING COMES TO EVERYTHING,
infidelity can thus open up for how closeness and intimacy are rediscovered and recreated, so lust for each other is not only a sexual thing, but just as much an interest and positive curiosity that positively affects the whole togetherness.
So all in all:
it is up to the individual couple to decide whether the fact that there has been infidelity for a shorter or longer period, should be the reason for a breakup, or whether the fact that there has been infidelity inside, should be which means that one now begins on a deeper level to take each other much more seriously and will work to build respect, closeness and understanding again.
- Themes in a couples therapy talk will always be.
- What values do you have in the relationship?
- How has infidelity affected each of you.
- What is infidelity an expression of?
- What does it take to find the melody again?
