I really want to share with you a secret about what makes me, as a child, feel comfortable, can always smile, and be happy living my life. I hope parents all over the world read this!
- When you tell me that you love me, I feel safe.
- When you proved your love for me, I grew confident.
- I feel loved when you give me attention.
- When you choose not to pick up the phone to enjoy time with me, I feel more important than anything and anyone in this world.
- When you remember little things, like my shoe size, my favorite color, my hobbies, my favorite food, I feel valuable even though you also love your brothers and sisters. There are always a thousand ways that make me feel very special.
- I want to make you happy and make you proud. Give praise and recognition to me. I’m so happy when I know you like what I do.
- I feel very comfortable if you hug me a few minutes before I go to sleep. Hug me 4 times a day, then I feel there. If you hug me 8 times a day, I feel accepted by the world. And hug me 12 times a day, then I will feel very precious.
- I need you to listen to me. My schoolwork and playmates make me feel stressed. When I come home from school, listen to me openly and don’t judge. I need your empathy and support.
- If I make a mistake, please don’t blame me. I feel guilty enough. Help me by asking, “Could you do a better job of this?”, And “What if you finished this now?”
- When you shout at me, my world seems to collapse. I feel scared. All I thought was, “Please stop screaming”. I don’t understand what you are saying. I really feel threatened.
- I imitate you when you treat others. When you respect other people, I learn to respect you. When you solve problems in a good way, I learn to solve problems without getting angry.
- Don’t confuse me. Sometimes you say you love me, but sometimes you say I drive you crazy. Sometimes I wonder if you are happy that I was born in this world?
- Be patient with me. Of course I’m not a perfect human! I need to learn, grow, and overcome bad / negative things. Please help me by emphasizing the value of kindness to me. Show me with compassion how I should do. Be patient and stay mature in our relationship. Please remember changing is hard, so help me solve one thing at a time. I can’t fix my mistakes at once. If I start to rebel, find out the cause. something that was bugging me might have happened.
- Don’t look down on me and call me by titles. I trust you, so if you call me stupid, stupid, rebellious, unruly, unreliable, naughty, even calling me an animal, I will grow up according to what you say.
- Make me feel comfortable enough to make mistakes. Please don’t get angry when I spill something or break something, by accident. Being accidental isn’t sinful. I don’t want to grow up to be a perfectionist who is afraid of making mistakes. We all make mistakes. Intelligent people learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them
- I need consistency in my world. When you apply the same rules, life becomes more predictable. I felt much safer knowing there were adults looking after me.
- You can sue me only for things that you have done yourself. I did not learn from the preacher, and punishment leaves behind resentment. I never stop watching you and absorb everything from you. If what you show me is love and kindness, I will be like you.
Maybe I don’t always do what you say, but I will say what you say and will do what you do.
