Do you consider yourself as someone who has self-responsibility ?
Do you believe that everything that happened and has happened in your life is entirely your responsibility?
Reflect for a moment on how your life is at that particular moment.
You didn’t do all of this, did you?
After all, you have a wife or husband who is not easy.
A boss who is not easy to swallow, children who do not understand the behavior, losses that have been caused by third parties in his life.
We better stop here.
I don’t know what trouble you’ve been in, or how your life is now.
What I do know is that you are fully responsible for the life you have been leading.
Who inspired me to write this article was Paulo Vieira, President of Febracis , creator of the CIS method, and author of the book o Poder da Ação .
Which is a spectacular book that addresses this subject with profound excellence.
It brings a complete approach to self-responsibility as a lifestyle that we urgently need to adopt if we really want to live an abundant life in every way.
But as I know you like excellent content, I did a lot of research / research on the subject to make a complete approach and thus understand in fact everything we need to know about self-responsibility.
But why is self-responsibility so important for living an abundant life?
To find out the answer to this and other questions, stay with me in this article .
Because we will learn about:
– What is self-responsibility
– The Reactive Model
– The Proactive / Self-Responsibility Model
– Luck x Chance
– Resuming the house key
Do you want to help your friends assume self-responsibility? Share this article with them!
WHAT IS SELF-RESPONSIBILITY?
Self-responsibility is the rational and emotional capacity to bring you all responsibility for everything that happens in your life , however inexplicable it may be, however much it seems to be out of your control and your hands.
Self-responsibility is the belief that you are solely responsible for the life you have led; therefore, it is the only one that can change it. (Paulo Vieira)
It is not easy to take responsibility for things that seem to be beyond my control.
But are they really out of my control? Let’s reason together.
Self-responsibility implies understanding that we are where we are.
I really like a phrase that says: “We don’t choose the cards we receive from life, but we choose which cards we are going to play. ”
But as long as I don’t consider myself self-responsible, I won’t have options to play the correct card, but the one that will be most comfortable for me at the moment.
I believe that the card that those who do not take responsibility play the most is the reactivity card. (subject of the next topic)
The reactive behaves in a highly negative way, because he has no options but to act on impulse, always transferring the blame for everything to the other.
Understand this truth: YOU ARE WHERE YOU PLACE YOURSELF.
This is self-responsibility!
When I understand that I am responsible for creating my life, I also understand that I need to be committed to the results that I desire.
I CREATE, I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Self-responsibility makes us understand that we are the authors of our own history, and that we can write it through our choices.
Self-responsibility is a self-learning tool as well.
We ended up wasting a lot of time looking just at each other. Failing to learn what that situation wants to teach us.
Self-responsibility helps us to look within.
Looking at yourself should not be a task of punishment or criticism, but of recognition.
Thus we will see our internal qualities and resources to live a happy life enjoying all the abundance.
THE REACTIVE MODEL
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People , Stephen Covey deals with this model in a very detailed way.
Bringing us a model of someone who gave up self-responsibility, I decided to address this issue here in this article, as you may identify with what we are going to talk about next.
LET’S START BY TELLING THE STORY OF VICTOR FRANKL.
Victor Frankl was educated in the tradition of Freudian psychology, and postulated that a person’s childhood events, whatever they were, shaped character and personality, basically governing his life.
The limits and parameters of life are set, and there is not much to be done about it.
Frankl was also a psychiatrist and a Jew. He lived as a prisoner in the extermination camps of Nazi Germany, where he had experiences so repugnant to our sense of decency that mentioning them is enough to make anyone shiver.
While you were there, I want you to put yourself in Victor’s place.
HOW WOULD YOU REACT IN A GIVEN SITUATION?
Would he surrender the pain like someone without hope? Or would you envision an abundant and joyful future?
Well, let’s continue the story that you are now the main character.
His parents, his brother and his wife died in the fields, or were sent to the gas chambers.
With the exception of his sister, his entire family was wiped out.
Frankl himself suffered indescribable torture and humiliation, never knowing whether, from one moment to the next, he would cease to be part of the “survivors”, who removed the bodies and sweep the ashes from the dead, and would be taken to the gas chamber.
One day, naked and alone in a small room, he began to become aware of what he later called “the last of human freedoms”
The freedom that his Nazi executioners could not take away from him.
They could completely control the situation and the environment, they could do whatever they wanted with their body, but Victor Frankl himself was a being endowed with self-awareness, that is, SELF-RESPONSIBILITY.
And he could act as an observer of his own destiny, his basic identity was intact.
HE COULD DECIDE INSIDE HIMSELF HOW IT WAS GOING TO AFFECT HIM.
Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his reaction, was his freedom or power to choose what the reaction would be.
Would you have realized this freedom in a situation like this? If not, consider yourself a reactive person.
Self-responsibility brings us this power and opens up a range of options.
Amid his hardships, Frankl used to project himself in different situations, like teaching his students when he was released from the extermination camp.
He described himself in the classroom, with his mind’s eye, and passed on the lessons he was learning in those difficult times.
Thanks to a series of disciplined attitudes – mental, emotional and moral, using mainly imagination and memory – he exercised that tiny, embryonic freedom, which grew more and more, which made him freer than his Nazi executioners.
I confess that as I write this article looking at the story of this man I am moved.
How was someone in such a position capable of such a feat?
This is high-level self-responsibility.
The Nazis had more freedom in terms of options within that environment.
But he had more internal freedom, more power to exercise his options.
It became a source of inspiration for those around him, and even for some guards.
He helped others to find meaning in their suffering, and dignity in their prison life.
In the midst of the most degrading circumstances imaginable, Frankl used the human gift of self-awareness to discover a fundamental principle of man’s nature:
BETWEEN THE STIMULUS AND THE RESPONSE IS THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE OF THE HUMAN BEING.
Freedom of choice encompasses the gifts that make us human, distinct from other animals.
In addition to self-awareness and self-responsibility, we have imagination – the ability to create, in the mind, images that transcend the reality present in the moment.
We have morals, a deep awareness of what is right or wrong, of the principles that govern our behavior, and a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with them.
We also have a free choice.
The ability to act as self-awareness commands, free from any influence.
Not even the most intelligent animals have these gifts.
To use a computing metaphor, they are programmed by instinct and / or training.
In other words, they are not able to interfere. They cannot change the schedule made.
They are not even aware of the program.
On the other hand, we can make new programs for ourselves, thanks to the unique gifts mentioned, typical of human beings and completely separated from instinct and training.
For this reason, the capacity of animals is relatively limited, and that of humans is unlimited.
However, if we live like animals, only with instincts and conditioning, disconnected from collective memory, we will also be limited.
The deterministic paradigm originates mainly from the study of animals – rats, monkeys, pigeons, dogs – and neurotic and psychotic people.
Animals represent the reactive mode as the only option because between the stimulus and the response they only react.
For there is no awareness to measure and determine the action that will come after the stimulus.
It’s as if it’s already programmed
Our unique gifts lift us above the animal world.
The breadth with which we exercise and improve these gifts allows us to realize our essentially human potential.
Between stimulus and response is our greatest power – freedom of choice.
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THE PROACTIVE MODEL
Proactive is another term to highlight someone who is self-responsible
Proactivity = Self-responsibility
Upon discovering the basic principle of human nature, Frankl drew an accurate map of himself.
From which he began to develop the main and basic habit of a super-effective person in any environment, the habit of proactivity.
Proactivity means much more than taking the initiative.
It implies that we, as human beings, are responsible for our own lives.
Our behavior results from decisions made, not from external conditions.
We have the ability to subordinate feelings to values.
We have enough initiative and responsibility to make things happen.
Think of the word responsibility. Responsibility – the ability to choose your answer.
Overproactive people get used to self-responsibility.
They do not blame their behavior on circumstances, conditions or conditions.
Their behavior is the product of their own conscious choice, based on values, and not the result of conditioning, based on feelings.
PROACTIVE SELF-RESPONSIBILITY MODEL
Since we are, by nature, self-responsible, our life will only be a consequence of conditions and conditioning if we allow these factors to control our mind, by conscious decision or omission.
If this was our option, we become reactive.
Reactive people are affected only by the physical environment.
If the weather is good, they feel good. Otherwise, attitude and performance change.
Proactive people carry time within themselves.
Rain or shine, it doesn’t matter, they advance thanks to their values.
And, if one of your values is to do quality work, it does not depend on the weather being like this or baked.
Reactive people are also affected by the social environment, by “social time”. When people treat them well, they feel good.
When the opposite happens, they assume a defensive or protective posture.
Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, allowing the weakness of others to control them.
While the proactive who has a life of self-responsibility does not have his emotions shaken by anyone because he has the key to his whole being in his control.
The self-responsible person never gives his keys into the hands of another.
The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of a self-responsible proactive person.
Reactives are driven by feelings, circumstances, conditions and environment.
THE SELF-RESPONSIBLE PROACTIVE ARE GUIDED BY THEIR VALUES, CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT, SELECTED AND INTERNALIZED.
Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can hurt you without your consent”.
In Gandhi’s words, this also appears: “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them”.
It is our consent, our permission for things to happen to us that hurts us, far more than the events themselves.
I understand that sometimes it can be very difficult to accept emotionally.
Especially if we carry on our backs for years the custom of blaming other people’s behavior or circumstances for our problems.
But a person can only say, “I choose this” when he is able to say “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday”.
WHAT HURTS US IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO US, BUT OUR REACTION TO IT.
Frankl is one among many people who have been able to develop personal freedom in difficult circumstances and inspire and help others.
We all know people who, in extremely painful circumstances, such as terminal illness or severe physical damage, maintain admirable emotional strength.
Nothing is capable of making a stronger and more lasting impression on a human being than seeing someone overcome suffering, transcend circumstances, harbor and transmit values that inspire, ennoble and value life.
VICTOR FRANKL SHOWS THAT THERE ARE THREE CORE VALUES IN LIFE:
Experience, that is, what happens to us.
Creation, that is, what we put in the world.
And the attitude, that is, our response in difficult times, such as a terminal illness.
LUCK X AZAR
In the lives of some people who experience some repetitive positive facts we say that she is lucky.
And when there are many negative facts, we say that she is unlucky.
It is very common to say: “so and so is lucky, everything works out in his life”, “sicrano is already cold, poor man, he is unlucky”.
AFTER ALL, WHAT IS LUCK AND WHAT IS BAD LUCK?
Is it our destiny, or is it something from God?
Or is that person so pessimistic and negative that he only attracts bad things to his life?
There is a well-known expression about luck: “horse down only passes the door once”.
It is an expression to say that good opportunities have to be quickly noticed and used.
Because they will hardly happen again.
Some psychological mechanisms can influence what we call luck or bad luck.
Our mind when it works in a more optimistic / positive way and with more courage to succeed in what we set out to do, interferes in our results.
You can be sure that what has happened in your life is not a coincidence.
They are not fate fatalities nor are you the victim of someone or any circumstance
Self-responsibility will show us very clearly what is really luck or bad luck.
In fact, self-responsibility is the belief that we are solely responsible for the results of luck or chance.
Usually when things start to go wrong we blame someone.
It could be the government, the boss, the crisis, etc.
We seek external explanations to explain our misfortunes or misfortunes.
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY MAKES US TAKE THE HELM OF THE BOAT THAT IS OUR LIFE.
And so we can be the authors of our own history.
Making good choices is lucky.
Investing in yourself is lucky.
Experiencing self-responsibility does lead to emotional balance.
It empowers us and enables us to change what needs to be changed in order to continue to move towards our goals and dreams.
RESUMING THE HOME KEY
If the key to your life is not in your pocket, who did you give it to?
This question illustrates the situation of some people, who for some reason are under the command of others.
And it is necessary to retake this key and focus on yourself.
And from there make decisions that are conscious and consistent to live a happy and abundant life.
And when do we hand our key over to someone else?
It is when we allow the other to totally influence us, decide totally and from there depersonalization arises.
There are even people who no longer know who they are, have a highly negative self-image , live frustrated and have no prospect of life.
They have completely lost control of life and circumstances.
When an emotional illness at that level is abandoned, the self, which is the center of our personality.
If you shift your interest to the other, you forget about yourself.
JESUS CHRIST MADE IT VERY CLEAR WHEN HE SAID: “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF”.
A question arises, if I don’t love myself, how will I love the other? You don’t get where you don’t have to.
The axis of the Self needs to be centered on you, so we need to be right with ourselves.
We need to take charge of our life, love ourselves intensely so that we can have the ability to love the other as well.
If I abandon myself to help others, to help others, I won’t be doing much.
First I need to take the keys, take internal control so that I can adjust something out here.
When did you abandon yourself?
When did you forget about yourself?
NOW as you finish reading this article, something new starts to happen to you.
You are now realizing that if you are not well resolved with yourself, you can hardly adjust anything outside of yourself.
Never give control of your life to another person.
The key to your home is yours and nobody else’s.
Well, once we understand what we need to be and do to change our current state, we can only ACT.
Believe that you are in control and will be, otherwise your life will be like a dry leaf blown by the wind.
Be the helmsman of the boat called life and you will be able to make the modifications you deem necessary to continue your journey towards your purpose .
So after this mega content on self-responsibility I want you to leave a comment saying what you thought of the article, how it influenced you and made you rethink about life.
If you have something to add as well, we are open to suggestions and additions.