If you had learned how to beat self-sabotage , where would you be now?
Like me, it was supposed to be a long way away, that’s right, I also sabotage myself.
I didn’t even want to have to confess it here, but if I’m not true to you it will be very difficult to write this article.
But one of the reasons that motivates me is helping you here, because I help myself too, because I learn while writing.
While helping other people I am the first to be helped, but that is a topic for another article lol.
Talking about my own experience with self-sabotage, some time ago I was not writing on the blog, for pure and legitimate self-sabotage mixed with procrastination.
You can access HERE the full article on “How to beat Procrastination”
Self-sabotage is like another character who lives inside you that helps you to build a lie so “true” that you are mistaken to the point of believing the whole lie that was built for you to continue the way it is, without being able to get through that level.
What will we learn about self-sabotage in this article?
– What is self-sabotage?
– A cruel trap
– Eliminating the stories
– The path of Power to overcome self-sabotage
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WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE?
Well, self-sabotage is linked to some acts that we do to ourselves, even if unconsciously, which damages our lives in every way.
Self-sabotage is when you undermine your own plans to develop in some area of your life but somehow do something unconsciously to stay in your comfort zone.
The example of this is when we have a very important meeting and we get a cold. For some this is just a fact, but for others it can even be a perfect hitch to miss the appointment.
“Several of these destructive behaviors are almost outside the realm of consciousness”. – Stanley Rosner – American psychologist.
We must be strong to overcome this weight and sabotage the damn self-sabotage.
A CRUEL TRAP
There are some moments in our life when we come to the conclusion that we need to make a big leap, to change profoundly.
We decided to change a number of things in our life, such as some behaviors, friendships, affective relationships, we changed our diet, and we said to ourselves: “Now go”, “Now it’s for real”. Not to mention the promises we often make.
And when we least expect it there we are again living the same life as the past, and as if nothing had happened we conformed and stagnated in the process.
I don’t want to build any kind of argument here to prove that change is easy. But to show that it is not just you who go through this and that change is available to everyone, we just need to understand the process.
For you to understand how to overcome self-sabotage and follow a path of achievement, you need to know the pitfalls that hold you back and keep you from moving forward.
It is like a big jump that you take to fall into the same hole from which you came out.
THESE TRAPS THAT WE NEED TO KNOW, WE CREATED THEM OURSELVES.
Most of them were installed in us as a child, when we heard a series of stories about how we should act and react in the face of circumstances.
For example: “Money is dirty”, “You only learn what is worthless”, “Don’t talk to strangers”.
As our brain was programmed to see money as something dirty, it may have just come out of the ATM, it will always be dirty, and perhaps by an unconscious process you will do your best to get rid of it, how? spending.
The same thing about learning, when you are faced with learning that will be constructive for your development something in your unconscious says that it is not for you, so you abandon the learning to see junk on the internet.
And since our brain has already been programmed not to talk to strangers, every time we meet someone new, what do we do?
As much as we want to establish a friendship and open up to that person, another part of our brain blocks the whole process to continue obeying the commands that were installed.
YOUR BELIEF IS THE CRUEL TRAP THAT MADE YOU BOTH LOSE AND FALL.
Firstly, when you receive a challenge, you get excited and feel totally encouraged and motivated, that’s why we give ourselves body and soul to the change process.
However, when the first difficulties begin to appear that somehow make us feel unable to face this new challenge, we see in us this unconscious force that disagrees that we risk changing. “I knew I couldn’t learn this new language”
If you cultivate this feeling of incapacity every time, you will be installing a cowardly image in you that over time will paralyze you completely, allowing you to try nothing new.
Now understanding what our cruel trap is, it is better to learn how to overcome self-sabotage and resolve this embarrassment in our lives.
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ELIMINATING THE STORIES
“Zo na of comfort is the combination of several paralyzing lies with an
expired date.” Paulo Vieira
When we talk about stories, we are not talking about any stories you heard one day, but the ones you create in your daily life, which could very well be called lies.
And the comfort zone speaks a lot about it, about the story we created to stay in our comfort zone.
And in his book The Power of Action, Paulo Vieira who is also the developer of the CIS Method and the advanced training “The Power of Focus” asks some very intriguing questions to make us look inside ourselves.
Ask yourself these questions right now
In which areas of my life do I find myself in the comfort zone?
What will my life be like if I continue, by action or by omission, in the comfort zone?
Confronting, isn’t it?
And the invitation that is made to leave our comfort zone is to ACT!
The only thing that can make you start to eliminate stories and get out of your comfort zone is Targeted ACTION.
Directed towards your goals, your objectives and certainly, your desires.
For you to get out of your comfort zone, it doesn’t have to be a perfect action, or the most effective one to put into practice.
Any action that is subtly directed towards your goals already starts the process of changing and freeing your comfort zone.
WHAT ARE STORIES?
Stories are linguistic, verbal and mental structures that validate, explain and justify our failures, failures and failures.
A sometimes subtle and sometimes explicit way of not being responsible for results, actions and behaviors that have not worked out in our lives.
How comfortable or less costly to be fired and have a whole story rehearsed to explain, or better, justify why it happened.
How much easier and more comfortable it is to face the director of the school of the son who has just been expelled and tell the story that he raised the two children in the same way and only one is problematic.
Apparently, the stories bring comfort, but in reality they have many devastating consequences in people’s lives.
It is common to believe that stories are little lies or simple disguises for something we want to escape from or about which we do not want to recognize our responsibility.
In fact, there are three categories of stories: lies and exaggeration, truths and, finally, games.
The lying stories are justifications invented with the objective of reducing the guilt.
The true stories, on the other hand, are an attempt to accuse the other and avoid responsibility for their own actions.
Jokes make the person close their eyes to the problem, take the focus off the subject by means of a joke or something funny said about the problem.
Whatever the type of story, they destroy self-image and leave their authors powerless in the matter of action and behavior, and certain of the impossibility of doing it.
So if you really want to overcome self-sabotage, you need to eliminate from your life any kind of story you once created to strengthen a pattern or behavior in your life.
THE PATH OF POWER TO OVERCOME SELF-SABOTAGE
I deeply believe that there is a way for you to eliminate all of these negative patterns that you have acquired in the course of your life.
We said earlier that you need to act and improve your actions continuously if you want to leave your comfort zone to win self-sabotage.
But there is something very powerful that will be crucial for you to ACT and overcome all the obstacles that have hindered you until today. Do you know what that power is? It’s called decisions.
“Man is born to live, and not to prepare to live.” – BORIS PASTERNAK
Ten years from now, you will surely arrive somewhere. The question is: Where? Who will you have become? How had he lived? Now is the time to project the next ten years of your life – and not after they pass.
The difference in the results that people produce comes down to what they did differently than others in equal situations.
DIFFERENT ACTIONS PRODUCE DIFFERENT RESULTS. BECAUSE?
Because every action is a triggered cause, and its effect is added to past effects to take us in a definite direction. And every movement leads to an end: our destiny.
In short, if we want to direct our lives, we must control our systematic actions.
It is not what we do from time to time that shapes our lives, but what we do systematically. The basic and most important question is: What precedes all actions? What determines what actions we take and, therefore, who we become, and what is our ultimate destiny in life? What is the father of action?
The answer, of course, is: the power of decision.
Everything that happens in your life – both what makes you emotional and what challenges you – starts with a decision!
I believe that it is in moments of decision that your destiny is shaped .
The decisions you are making right now, every day, will shape how you feel today, and also who you will become in 5 years or so.
Looking back over the past ten years, do you think there were times when a different decision would have made your life radically different than it is today, for better or for worse?
Perhaps, for example, you made a decision about the career that changed your life. Or, who knows, you haven’t taken it.
Do you realize now how you can overcome self-sabotage and take your life to the course you want?
Maybe you were hoping to find a conventional text, but here in mental alignment it is different, because I speak of what I experienced and believe.
CONCLUSION:
Well, after you have learned how to beat self-sabotage I hope you make decisions that are consistent with what you really want in your life.
Don’t let the comfort zone spoil your dreams, so make a decision to act.
Winning self-sabotage can lead you to be and have what you have always idealized for a happy
