Do you look familiar with these words?
“I just want him to wash the dishes after meals, why is it so difficult?”
“People’s boyfriend knows what his girlfriend wants with just one look. He is good, I said it straight, he still doesn’t understand.”
“I just want him to say “I love you” every day. Is this request too much?”
“Isn’t it right to pick up my girlfriend from get off work and send my girlfriend home? He doesn’t have time if others can do it.”
…
Last month was the anniversary of the love between a friend and a boyfriend who had been in love for three years. Because her boyfriend was half an hour late, the friend waved his hand away and refused to listen to the explanation, the phone call, or WeChat did not answer.
I have been complaining to me all the time, the above words are what she said when she complained to me.
In my impression, she and her boyfriend have been complaining that the other party is not doing well since they fell in love, especially after watching some variety shows and TV series, they think that is the ideal love.
When I compare my boyfriend again, I see nowhere is pleasing to my eyes.
One: Unreasonable requirements and expectations
From a bystander’s point of view, her boyfriend was not as unbearable as she said.
As long as she is not busy, her boyfriend will pick her up from get off work every day. When a friend works overtime, the other party will help her order a takeaway.
Usually housework will be done with friends, because friends can’t cook, so as long as her boyfriend is free, she will definitely cook.
That day, she didn’t wash the dishes because at that time, her boyfriend had been adding a month’s shift, and even the meal was done while taking a nap.
Many people are dissatisfied with their partners. To be honest, maybe it’s not how bad they are doing.
It’s that you have too many unreasonable expectations for him. Don’t say anything about whether or not they should be. There is no one in love who should say what to do. It’s all you want.
You can recall, when you get along, have you ever had these kinds of situations:
2: Your partner always disappoints you
When you expect too much from your partner, you will subconsciously ignore what he really looks like and forget those moments that he treats you well.
For example, you hope to get a gentle and romantic partner, but in fact, he may be dull and sane, can’t talk about love, don’t know how to play romance, but when you need it, he will always arrive the first time.
He treats you in a less romantic way, but you are disappointed because of your own expectations, ignoring his goodness to you.
So for the current person, your expectations may not be so reasonable.
Three: Your partner always feels that he is not doing well
About last month, a classmate also told me about the problem of getting along with his girlfriend. He felt that this kind of thinking was a little sick, but he couldn’t help thinking about it.
I know that she is excellent and that she always hopes that I can become better. In fact, I have been working hard. Sometimes, I am tired from work and when I don’t have the energy to speak with her when I get home, she feels wronged and I feel guilty. .
In fact, I know that some of her requests are excessive, but I just feel sorry for her if I can’t.
In an intimate relationship, whether it is habitual inferiority or long-term guilt, it is not a normal emotion.
If in the relationship, your partner always feels guilty and cannot satisfy you, then maybe your request is not reasonable.
Four: family and friends think you ask for too much
As the saying goes, the bystanders are clear, the authorities are fascinated, and feelings are two people’s business. This is true, but you cannot exist alone without your family and friends.
So if your family and friends feel that you expect too much from your partner and ask too much, you should reflect on it.
Is it true that some of your requirements for him are too excessive? Feedback from others is also an opportunity for you to re-correct your expectations for him.
There can be expectations, but one must be reasonable, and two must learn to constantly correct those unreasonable expectations in getting along.
When you ask the other party to unconditionally put you in the first place, first think about whether you can do it. When you ask him to love you forever, you want to ask yourself whether you can do it consistently.
We all hope that we can get the ideal love, the perfect lover.
But feelings are complicated. It cannot be corrected by a single set of templates. People are even more complicated. Your lover has his own emotions, sorrows, and shortcomings. He is not just a tool person for your existence. do you understand?
