Moving home is a complex event but also full of opportunities. The right attitude and some organizational tricks allow you to live the moment of the move well.
The move is identified by research as one of the most stressful events along with bereavement, separation and job loss.
In fact, it contains innumerable physical, relational, social and psychic experiences and conditions that make moving house a very complex and sometimes “traumatic” event.
Moving: what it means
Moving house is in the first instance a real change on a physical level in which a shift is made from one place to another, with a change in the furniture or its arrangement, of the residence, of the city, of the neighborhood, of the structure of one’s home, etc. . this brings with it some important consequences, such as the need to change one’s habits, not only with respect to the new set-up of the house, but also at the working level (for example, changing the journey made in the morning and the time, etc.), school , relational and general.
We must therefore learn to familiarize ourselves with the new physical environment and, over time, make it our own.
In addition to this, moving contains many emotional aspects. You leave a well-known and well-known house, where you have memories, experiences and sensations, to enter a new one that at first, although furnished as you wish, is hard to perceive as a ” home “, as a familiar and safe place. , made up of affections, contents, emotions, etc. the sense of loss and separation can therefore be very strong and make it difficult to experience this change.
Change that also affects social aspects and relationships: see neighborly relationships, friendships, but also the knowledge of the surrounding places and reality.
Above all, when the move is not done by choice and desire but by necessity, all these aspects become even stronger and the fatigue greater.
Moving house with children
If moving is complex for adults, it is also complex for children and adolescents.
In fact, children need security and certainties , made up of affections and fixed points that are also enclosed in environments, things, spaces and objects. Your own room, your own play space, your close people, are all important elements and fixed points that are missing during the move.
The child may then experience a sense of insecurity, anger, sadness and fear in the difficulty of adjusting to the new home. The change of habits can create confusion and effort in managing the new daily life with which he does not perceive a familiarity.
The teenager , for his part, could struggle in managing the new spaces, especially in the distance from one’s friends and meeting places, from one’s routine, experiencing the move with a lot of conflict and effort.
Especially when the move requires a radical change in habits and relationships, such as when you change cities and go to a distant one from the previous one, region or even state, this becomes even more painful.
It is therefore important, especially with the little ones, to involve them immediately in the move, planning the new bedroom, the color of the walls, the arrangement of the furniture, their games and things, in order to allow them to familiarize themselves with the new home. immediately.
Give them time to get used to the new reality, discover it with them, looking for opportunities and possibilities, respecting habits and routines as much as possible. With the older ones, if possible, help them to maintain their relationships and contacts, explaining the reasons for the change and welcoming the fatigue, the discomfort and the difficulty in settling in, giving them time to adapt to the new reality.
The ideal would be, obviously if possible, not to make the move coincide with other moments of great change , such as the birth of a little brother, the change of school, or an important step. If this is not possible, it is good to consider the experience of your children by welcoming it and supporting the change.
New home and home with memories
A new house initially seems empty, impersonal , devoid of sensations and experiences that when compared with the baggage of the previous house can create discomfort and sorrow.
The old house is made up of memories, photos, experiences that animate one’s thoughts and give meaning to each object. The comparison will certainly be complicated at first. Functional could be to give the new home a personal touch, to make it feel a little more its own, insert objects, photos or anything else that recall the one left and allow you to savor sensations and experiences.
Another important aspect is that instead of taking advantage of the move and the new home as a means to leave memories behindnegatives of the old house, painful elements that every aspect of the environment remembered and that in the new house I can choose whether to insert or not.
The ideal is to find a balance between what I want to bring from the old home and life into the new one and how much I want it to reflect present and future or remain anchored to the past. All this depends on many factors such as the reason for the move, past experiences, the experience in the new home, etc.
Live the move peacefully: some tricks
If it is true that moving is a great source of stress, it is equally true that there may be elements that help to live it for the best .
• Organize : organize the things to be moved and the times to do so, trying to rationalize the movements as much as possible, perhaps doing one room at a time, dividing things carefully into boxes, making the boxes little by little and moving them to a new house.
Organizing the days is more functional for some to do everything at once, others prefer little by little. There is no better modality than the other, it all depends on your own modalities and habits and on your own organization which must however be thought and done in the way that allows you to be as calm as possible and live the move without excessive anxiety. Obviously conditions permitting.
• Experience the move as an opening to the new: the experience of the move is often influenced by the way it is observed. Trying to experience moving as an opportunity to change something in one’s life: habits, the disposition of the home environment, the daily routine that always seems a bit tight, etc; but also as an experience in which to make new acquaintances, eliminate old objects and buy new ones, leave memories behind and turn the page.
• Involve loved ones : Since it is very demanding both emotionally and physically, it is helpful to ask for help and involve loved ones in the change. This will not only lighten the load, but will also allow you to share the joys and sorrows, as well as physical fatigue, reducing stress.
• Live the new reality right away : another important aspect is to experience the new home and environment from the first moment, getting used to change step by step. It can therefore be useful to visit the new house during the works if they are carried out, perhaps even with their children, to fantasize about the new furniture, the color of the walls and the arrangement of objects, explore the external environment, walk the streets around, learn about places and create new landmarks. And once inside, try to create a new routine made up of schedules, dinners with family and friends, and much more.
• Take moments of detachment: if possible it is useful during the move to take moments of detachment and break in which to do something for yourself or with loved ones, so as not to lose everyday life even in the hustle and bustle of moving.
These are just some simple tips to live a move more peacefully, aware that it is something very tiring both on a physical and emotional-relational level but which is also a source of possibilities and new opportunities , even if it is often difficult to seize them.
