One of the greatest fears of women is that the decrease in desire or the small intimate disturbances that can make love difficult after menopause, can lead the partner to “other shores”. Do you need to worry?
Long-term couples prove – by definition – to be the most solid. What makes them cohesive is certainly the ability to dialogue, to face together difficult situations and sudden changes in everyday life that can come from work, finances, but also from personal situations such as the arrival of menopause.
We must not take this moment sufficiently, even if it is very normal and physiological, because during this long period, the woman’s body undergoes real transformations. And we are not talking here only about physical transformations , such as dryness or pain during intimate intercourse, but also about psychological ones .
Thus, it may happen that along with some typical ailments of the period such as vaginal dryness , pain after intercourse , losses , recurrent infections , a certain intimate distance also appears , i.e. a reluctance to sexual relations with the partner that can arise from a decrease in desire. or even from a certain personal unavailability , which can arise from a mix of shame, embarrassment, dissatisfaction, a sense of resignation.
When this happens, however, the brain does not rest and many women ask themselves questions and doubts that even become nagging. One above all: “Will my partner seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere?” More explicitly: can a softer sex life in the couple really increase the desire for cheating ?
Menopause, sex, betrayal and awareness
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Betrayal. A word that sums up the breaking of a pact, the disappointment of having broken it, the loss of trust in those who have failed, the inability – perhaps – to be constant, strong, sincere. He who has betrayed knows, just as he knows who has been betrayed. But in love, betrayal takes on an even more visceral role , because it is not only the “moment”, the practical, mental and circumscribed act, but it is also all that this entails in the future of the couple . The feeling of having shared, without any intention to do so, and of feeling and seeing that mark where it was left by someone else; the feeling of not having done everything to hold onto that exclusivity.
Betrayal in love can come at any time, but many menopausal women fear this event in relation to the situation that has become reality in recent times: the end of fertile life, the difficulty of having pleasure from intimacy as before, the little ones intimate discomforts that can make the moment of the love encounter more rough . In short: you don’t have sex like before, sometimes you don’t have sex at all and doubts become insinuating.
“Will he look for what I no longer give him somewhere else?”, “Does he need to vent his sexual instincts and dump them elsewhere?”, “Will he be even more attracted to younger women than before?”. And there comes the sense of guilt for not being able, despite these thoughts, to restore vigor to a dormant and diluted intimate life. There comes a reduction in self-esteem that can help push down the mood already felt by the hormonal changes and can trigger a vicious circle in which the couple turns gray.
But first awareness may come to limit or avoid this process. Awareness is what every woman should have with respect to her body (and we are only talking about women, since we are among us!) And the changes she is going through, because only this ensures that we do not passively accept ailments and discomforts, but that adequate and timely measures are taken. Which? We explain it in the next paragraph.
The couple’s best friend is the gynecologist, especially in menopause
It has been like this for all the most important moments in life, such as pregnancy or first intercourse, and it must continue to be like this: the gynecologist can really help women to maintain balance and well-being even in such a delicate moment as the transition to menopause .
So your specialist can help you not only to overcome typical discomforts and ailments , but can also indicate if these are the signs of diseases that can be treated more specifically, as in the case of Vulvo Vaginal Atrophy or help improve your psychological well-being and daily physique indicating good practices or strategies to find center and face life again with a smile on your face .
That’s why making an appointment with your trusted gynecologist or menopausal specialist to get a second opinion is always a great idea. This way you can even regain your intimacy . Thanks to the help of the gynecologist you can do so much for yourself and for your health, beyond the likelihood of suffering a betrayal, beyond the possibility that it is due to an intimate relationship that no longer goes. This does not have to be the principle that guides you. What must move you is the desire to feel good, first of all for yourself, and then for the couple. If you are fine, the couple is fine too .