If you have a hard time telling your partner what has changed in your body and what the exact source of your discomfort is, even in intimacy, here is a way to tell them without embarrassment.
Little by little, your body has entered the midst of the typical changes of menopause and, while you are struggling with small and big discomforts related to the whims of hormones , it could happen that the relationship with your partner also undergoes some shakes .
Let’s be clear: the physical and emotional changes in the body that the end of the fertile age can bring with it, are physiological and are certainly not responsible for the weakening of intense feelings and strong bonds . Much more simply, however, these changes could happen to be felt especially on the intimate level, with an impact on the pleasure of physical love . The consequence, in the long run, can be some “friction” in your relationship.
Why does this happen? What can you do? Letting go and waiting for things to get better on their own is not a good idea because your intimate discomforts won’t resolve on their own . Even after the age of 50 it is possible to live a fulfilling love. This is essential for your psychophysical well-being but not only: several studies show that sex can be better than medicine in menopause .
However, it’s up to you to take the first step by explaining to your partner what are the changes in your body that in menopause can weaken the desire and, more generally, “test” the well-being of the couple.
Menopause, which inconveniences in the intimacy of a couple
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Some intimate disorders during menopause could also have some repercussions on the sexual sphere and even make you pass the desire for cuddling and intimacy with your him. We are talking about:
- Vaginal dryness : with menopause, the natural ability of the skin and mucous membranes to hydrate and stay moist is reduced. The vaginal walls also become drier and arousal is not able to stimulate the secretion of the mucous membranes as it once did. Here the penetration could become more difficult and painful.
- Itching, burning and irritation : these can be a consequence of the lack of natural lubrication due to the drop in estrogen levels.
- Recurrent infections : as a result of the changes affecting the vaginal environment, in particular the progressive reduction of vaginal acidity which is a natural protection against infections, you may find that vaginitis, candidiasis and cystitis occur frequently. with an ongoing infection, love is not recommended
- Pain during intercourse (dyspareunia) : This is the most common consequence of vaginal dryness. It is estimated that about 45% of women after the age of 55 (post-menopause)suffer from it , or almost 1 in 2. The vaginal tissues, due to mechanical rubbing during intercourse, can become irritated until they tear and suffer microtrauma. This condition can be one of the causes of blood loss in menopause , but above all of the pain that one feels during and after intercourse.
- Decreased desire : due to the decrease in hormone levels, which is completely natural at the end of the fertile life, the focus on sexuality may fail and many women may find that the physical drive towards the partner is diminishing. It is not a situation common to all women, many testify instead that the end of the fertile life and the cancellation of the risk of an unexpected pregnancy has brought a new breath of “freedom” with the partner. However, there are cases where exactly the opposite happens and must be recorded. Again, as in all the cases we have listed above, there is a lot you can do thanks to a visit to the gynecologist .
If love is difficult because of the lawyer
The problems that we have described above could also be the spy symptoms of a pathological condition: the ‘ atrophy vulvovaginal : menopausal and post-menopausal, suffers 1 in 2 women .
Vulvo-Vaginal Atrophy is a chronic and progressive condition, the signs of which are intimate itching, vaginal dryness, dyspareunia and discharge. To be successfully treated, it is essential that it is diagnosed early by the gynecologist . So: do not skip your periodic visits, they can protect both your daily well-being and that of the couple .
Menopause explained to your partner
Even if he may not know what happens when a hot flash arrives or the reason for those mood swings , remember that in a delicate phase like the one you are experiencing, the complicity of a couple can make a difference .
Here’s what you can concretely do to “experience” menopause with him and even help him understand, helping to improve your life as a couple.
- Talk to him in total sincerity and without mincing words: explain to him how you have changed and how changes in hormone levels can cause changes on an intimate level. If you can’t, you can ask him to accompany you to the gynecologist : the specialist will also explain to him how to behave and put into practice those small precautions to improve the approach to love and to facilitate and make the relationship more pleasant .
- Also be clear in making your him understand that it is not the desire for him that has failed , or the feeling that is wavering, but that there are “only” mechanical causes behind your difficulties in intimacy. Only by knowing your impediments will he be able to support you and help you get better.
- Never let an evening of pampering that is not quite as planned end with silences and long faces: the unspoken create fractures that can be deep even in the most experienced couples and, above all, give rise to misunderstandings. To be clear: don’t be ashamed to tell your partner you feel pain . Sincerity is better than pretending to have sleep or a headache. He may feel rejected and, in the long run, this could lead to a sentimental estrangement and danger of betrayal .
Menopause is not a disease but simply a completely natural stage in a woman’s life: do not be ashamed either in front of yourself or in front of him. In this regard, speaking openly about vaginal dryness, pain during intercourse, itching, and other intimate annoyances can also help you become aware of the transformations your body is going through.
The solution is a visit to the gynecologist
This is a fundamental step to be able to tell the inconvenience and annoyance you feel. Find an experienced menopausal gynecologist here , near your home: you can also book a remote teleconsultation to clarify your doubts and then, if necessary, make an appointment. He is the only doctor who can safeguard your health and psychophysical well-being.
Prevention and early diagnosis are two key words for anyone and at any age, even more so for a woman who is going through a phase of profound transformation such as menopause. In addition, the gynecologist can be a “friend” of the couple. This is why the only practical and useful thing you can do is contact a specialist.
A good gynecologist experienced in menopause can prove to be a valid ally for a couple over 50 because he can help both partners (although from different points of view) to manage those “problems” that often create those embarrassing moments in which you would like to say at the very best. say “no” to your partner . If only because you can ask direct questions and get accurate answers about sex in menopause .
If, on the other hand, you think you are facing a real sentimental crisis with your boyfriend , also consult a psychologist: couples therapy can help love to rekindle even after 50 .