In general, it is not easy for most people to open up with someone else, or pronounce these two words: ‘I love you’. Perhaps now with the help of social networks, writing that phrase does not cost us as much, also the heart smiley always helps. But at the moment of truth, when you have the person you love in front of you, expressing your feelings is very difficult .
Not only do we find it difficult to tell our partner how much we love her, but also to other important people in our lives: brothers, parents, friends …
In this article we will explain some reasons why it is so difficult for us to say I love you and we will help you express your feelings with other alternatives.
Why?
- Fear of rejection : Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time is much more complicated, and more when you don’t know if it is reciprocal. Vulnerability, shame, and all that fear of rejection take over our bodies as we speak these words. For this reason, many times our voice trembles or our hands sweat, due to the insecurity we feel when faced with possible rejection.
- Self-protection : Over time, we create a kind of shell to prevent people around us from hurting us. This protective barrier makes us appear ‘frivolous’. However, many times this self-defense is caused by painful relationships in the past. People prefer to hide feelings so as not to suffer.
- Commitment : relationships are conditioned by context, both historical and cultural. Now times have changed and more ‘uncompromising relationships’ are emerging every day, leaving behind the classic courtship. A relationship without ties, with total freedom, without pressure and without any dependence on the other person. That fear of holding on to a relationship causes a great refusal to say ‘I love you’.
- The passage of time makes the ‘I love you’ something implicit and falls into oblivion. Relationships of years, where the magic of the first times has already disappeared, leaves behind the signs of affection to make way for the routine.
- Alexithymia is a term introduced by Psychiatry professor Peter Sifneos and refers to the inability to identify one’s emotions. There are people with great difficulty in detecting their feelings and therefore find it difficult to express them verbally. Although it is perhaps a little known disorder, alexithymia is quite widespread in the population, since it affects 1 in 7 people.
Alternatives
- Music : If you can’t get the words out, why don’t you try a song? Surely there is a song that reminds you of that special person, try to teach it to yourself and open up that way. Another option is to personalize your own song , it will be even more romantic. Adapt the lyrics to your story, anecdotes and add your names, it will be something unique and that both of you will always remember.
- Show your affection : If saying ‘I love you’ is not your thing, it doesn’t matter. Let go of the words and start acting. Spend time with that person, have small details such as bringing him breakfast or making an unexpected visit, after all, that is what is most valued.
- Send a letter : If showing your emotions in person is an impossible mission, why not try expressing your feelings through a letter? You can open up like never before, you will even feel relief to finally tell everything you feel. It is a very romantic and classic detail capable of conquering anyone.
Why don’t we say to our brothers ‘I love you’?
It may be difficult for our partner to say ‘I love you’, but for our brothers even more.
The brothers accompany us throughout life . With them we play, we fight, we laugh and we grow. It is an unbreakable union, not only because of the blood ties, but because of all the moments we share with them.
Brothers are those people with whom you can argue tirelessly, but for whom you would also be willing to do anything. It is the truest love that exists. But, showing our affection for them is always more difficult, either because of routine or because we feel that words are superfluous.
However, there are times when we need to show our affection to them. If the words don’t come out, be original and do it with a song . In this post about songs to dedicate to your brother there are several songs that you can dedicate to him and with which you can feel identified . But if you want to give it a more personal touch, personalize your own song . You will thrill your brother / sister and give voice to this indestructible bond.
We hope that our advice has helped you, perhaps now it is easier for you to say ‘I love you’ , in any way. Leave us your doubts in comments, we will be happy to help you.
