Anxiety disrupts relationships in many different ways. It causes various types of behavior that alienate people. A testimony that I hear frequently and that I perceive in myself is also the decrease in tolerance because of anxiety.
A woman who finds herself without patience with her son. A man who cannot hear his partner because he already reacts before she closes her head. A woman who can’t hold her speech at work and ends up causing unnecessary confusion, because she can’t wait for the right moment. These are so frequent reports that I can say: these characters are us. Some more, others less, but all people who are forced to manage anxiety on a daily basis have already experienced situations like this or similar ones.
This state of kindness towards you and the connection with the other, full of creativity and firmness of purpose, I call Lucid Mind.
It is a cycle that we have experienced repeatedly. Anxiety causes a desire to run, that something needs to be done, without knowing exactly what, this I call a sense of urgency, which besides being very uncomfortable, confuses us of what is really important. I say this based on neuroscience, in addition to personal and clinical observation. The area of the brain that is over-stimulated in anxiety and stress, the cerebral amygdala, is a key participant in valuing, in other words: the value we place on things.
So, for an anxious mind, suddenly having to speak seems overly important. We talk and end up hurting for not having the patience to consider how the other will receive the words.
Belief and feeling of intimate belonging is fundamental to resting the nervous system. The brain works with more stress in lonely people, the reason for this can be understood in the fact that they feel that they can count only on themselves. Especially when they don’t trust you for lack of self-control.
Mental saboteurs are directly associated with brain subsystems of primitive defense. Parts of our brain can take control with the false promise of security, but which actually cause loss of intelligence and creativity, leading to impulsive and reactive attitudes. We can drastically reduce the appearance of these saboteurs and promote brain integration, use more of our wisdom potential, cultivating favorable qualities like patience, ethics and joy, so that we can feel a deep connection in the present and see the love that is occurring to be with here and now.
This state of kindness towards you and the connection with the other, full of creativity and firmness of purpose, I call Lucid Mind. Transforming old mental habits requires practice and familiarity with the new. The good news is that there is a step-by-step that can take a person in the direction of choosing his thoughts, sowing sympathy, cultivating love and peace in his family, social, emotional and professional relationships.
To start the desired change process and live fully, slightly transform your mind, your relationships, your sleep, your energy and your team. As a result, your life as a whole will rise to the next step.
The first step is to transform your mind a little: You can start by perceiving your mental tone of voice, this naturally brings self-awareness to your mental attitude towards you. Just as the meaning and result of a communication depends more on the tone of voice and the way of speaking than on the words, internally also the effect of a question on itself depends on the mental tone of the voice and the attitude. Imagine someone who asks in a tone of despair and indignation: “What did I do to make this happen to me?” Now imagine a person who with a mental tone of kindness and curiosity asks, “What did I do to make this happen to me?” The mental result is completely different. With kindness and curiosity we have creativity and self-awareness. Start by setting aside 5 minutes three times a day to breathe gently
Another important step is to improve relationships, in all spheres (family, affective, professional and social), now going outside and taking care of our relationship with others and with life. Start with the easiest, with the easiest relationships to improve, with these you will cultivate the qualities needed to improve the most difficult ones. Which relationship would be relatively simple to improve? How can I improve this relationship? Showing gratitude is always a good idea. On the other hand, in everyday relationships, couple rites are much more important than people in general recognize, a simple example is the moment when one spouse comes home, it is very important to be received and welcomed. Rites to behave at the time of a disagreement are relationship savers.
This is the end and the beginning of a new cycle. By improving your way of relating to yourself and to each other, new challenges will become clear in your mental processes, from there begins a new journey to transform your mind, you can for example increase the clarity of purpose or the bases of your identity, revisiting your personal values, writing a new story and a new way of relating and living.
Watch now a video that I talk about: “when anxiety affects your relationships”
