Your private internal dialogue can be a powerful stepping stone or a major obstacle to achieving your goals .
If you constantly make negative predictions like “I’m going to screw up” or curse yourself, your internal conversation will rob you of your mental strength.
Your thoughts affect how you feel and behave.
The way you think has the power to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thinking, “I will never get this job” can make you feel discouraged when entering an interview.
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Consequently, you can lower your shoulders, look at the floor, make a bad first impression – and inadvertently sabotage your chances of success.
If you have a severe internal critic, you are not alone: self-doubt, catastrophic predictions and harsh words are common.
But you don’t have to be a victim of your own verbal abuse.
Among the many exercises we use in therapy to help people change the way they think, here are seven ways to tame your inner critic:
1 . Pay Attention To Your Thoughts.
You are so used to hearing your own narration that it is easy to forget the messages you are sending yourself.
Start by paying close attention to your thoughts and you may find that you are called names or convinced yourself not to do difficult things.
It is estimated that you have about 60,000 thoughts a day.
There are 60,000 chances to strengthen or destroy yourself.
Learning to recognize your thinking patterns is the key to understanding how your thinking affects your life.
See also: Do you have a mental model of external validation?
2 . Change The Channel.
While troubleshooting is helpful, ruminating is destructive.
When you repeat a mistake you made in your head indefinitely or can’t stop thinking about something bad that happened, you will drag yourself down.
The best way to change the channel is to stay active.
Find an activity that will temporarily distract you from the negative tapes running through your head.
Take a walk, call a friend to talk about a different subject, or tackle a project you are putting off.
But refuse to sit and listen to your brain hitting you.
3 . Examine The Evidence.
Your thoughts are not always true.
In fact, they are often overly negative.
It is important to examine the evidence before believing your thoughts.
If you think, “I will be ashamed when I make this presentation,” stop for a minute.
Take a piece of paper and write down all the evidence that you will fail.
Then list all the evidence that you will not fail.
Looking at the evidence from both sides can help you see the situation a little more rationally and less emotionally.
Remembering that your thoughts are not 100% true can increase your confidence.
4 . Replace Exaggeratedly Negative Thoughts With Realistic Statements.
When you recognize that your negative thoughts are not entirely true, try to replace those statements with something more realistic.
If you think: “I will never be able to get promoted”, a good replacement statement can be: “If I work hard and keep investing in myself, I can be promoted someday”.
You don’t have to develop positive affirmations unrealistically; overconfidence can be almost as damaging as serious doubt.
But a balanced and realistic view is the key to becoming stronger mentally.
5 . Consider How Bad It Would Be If Your Thoughts Were True.
It is tempting to imagine a misstep turning into total catastrophe, but often the worst case scenario is not as bad as we fear.
If you anticipate being rejected for a job, ask yourself how bad it really would be.
Rejection hurts, but it’s not the end of the world.
Remembering that you can face difficult times increases your confidence.
It can also lessen many of the thoughts of fear and worry that can get in your way.
6 . Ask Yourself What Advice Would You Give A Friend.
It is often easier to be more compassionate towards other people than to yourself.
For example, while you may consider yourself an idiot for making a mistake, you are unlikely to say that to a loved one.
When you are going through difficult times or doubting your ability to succeed, ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this problem?” So, offer yourself these kind and wise words.
7 . Balance Self Improvement With Self Acceptance.
There is a difference between telling yourself that you are not good enough and reminding yourself that there is room for improvement.
Accept your failures for what they are now, while committing to improvements in the future.
Although it seems a little counterintuitive, you can do both at the same time: you can accept that you are looking forward to a future presentation at work, while also making the decision to improve your public speaking skills.
Accept yourself for who you are now, while investing to become an even better version of yourself in the future.
Train Your Brain To Think Differently
Your mind can be your best asset or your worst enemy.
It is important to train well.
The good news is that mental strength exercises will help you silence toxic self-criticism forever.
With practice, you can develop a more productive internal dialogue that will fuel your efforts to achieve your goals.
