Responsibility is one or several obligations that are owned by individuals in living their lives where in the implementation of these obligations, individuals get a boost from within their souls to fulfill all obligations borne by themselves.
Every human being born into the world must have a responsibility. At a minimum there must be one responsibility he has in life. For example, the responsibility not to hurt yourself. It also falls into the category of responsibility. Therefore, every individual SURE has personal responsibility or responsibility that is owned for himself.
When Should We Take Responsibility?
Because we all have responsibilities, we must ensure when we need to take responsibility. The responsibility is present because there is a responsibility to be borne or problems that must be faced and resolved.
In responsibility, the biggest focus is “Self”. When we want to take responsibility, the main thing we need to think about is “Did it happen to me or did it happen because of me?” Why do we need to focus on this?
In life, there are things that do happen to us that we cannot avoid. In addition, life will also offer things that do happen because of the results of actions or actions that we do. Well, things like this that we can still control.
Often, all the events that occur in our lives are things that happen outside our control. For example, there is bird droppings on our car, our coworkers spill coffee accidentally on our white shirts, our favorite basketball team is defeated by another team, and so on. From all these examples, we can’t control it right? This shows that there are many things that we cannot control in life.
When we want to take responsibility for things that happen outside our control, this will only waste our time and energy. Logically, can we talk to a bird not to pollute our car with dirt? Can we talk to other basketball teams not to beat our favorite basketball team? Or can we avoid coworkers who accidentally spill coffee on our white shirts? Of course not, because everything really happens outside our control.
Am I a Cause or an Effect?
To understand “responsibility” deeper, we can study psychology briefly first. In psychology, there are so-called “locus of external control” and “locus of internal control”. An external locus of control occurs when we believe and believe that external factors can control our present situation. Meanwhile, the locus of internal control occurs when we believe that we can be in control, we can control something that might happen. In other words, the locus of internal control makes us feel responsible for everything that happens in our lives.
Now, it is at this locus of internal control that responsibility will appear within us. When we take responsibility for what happens in life, it’s the same that we have put ourselves in a position of authority. “I am a controller in my own life.” To understand this more clearly, let us consider the example below:
First example: when I say to my coworkers “You really make me angry!” Do you think this statement shows that we are someone who causes our coworkers to make us angry? Or we are someone who gets the effect of being annoying from others, so we get angry?
Maybe my fellow readers will answer that “I am someone who gets the annoying effect from my coworkers, so I get very angry”. This is indeed a reasonable answer. But if we examine it deeper, actually no one has the power to make us feel angry, sad, upset or happy, except ourselves who allow it.
Everything whatever is done by others, we can still have good control. We can choose to be angry or choose to leave the person, then calm ourselves.
In other words, when we can still be in control, it means we are someone who receives an effect or an impact. So, our responsibility is to control ourselves . Yep! This is the important point. Responsibilities are matters relating to self-control. Without self-control, our lives will surely be very messy because we have allowed all good and bad things to enter our lives without permission, without filtering and without any control.
How to Exercise Responsibility?
We are the controllers of our lives, not others. So, then how can we be able to properly train our responsibilities? Here are three main ways we can do to train ourselves and begin to take full responsibility for our personal lives. Let us consider the following explanation.
1. Keep a journal.
Keeping a journal is one of the best ways to record what has happened in our lives. We can write a journal on a laptop or write it in a special journal book. Whatever the form, we need to keep a journal every day so we can take responsibility in our own lives.
In a journal, we need to write down three things we can do to make our day more beautiful. Every day will end, we need to write down three big things that happened that day, and don’t forget to write down one thing we can do to make the day better.
By writing a journal, we can write down all the stories, experiences and actions that we face in one day, so that we can have self-control over everything that happens in our lives. As a result, we will give more responsibility to ourselves.
2. Calm down.
The second way we can do is try to calm down. By calming down, we are indirectly enjoying the life that is happening. Enjoying the fragrance of rain, the noise of splashing water, and everything that is around us. When we are able to calm down and accept everything that is around us, then we can understand very well that “there are many things that I cannot control, but that feels wonderful”. I could not control the rain that fell suddenly, but the rain was very beautiful and peaceful. My responsibility is not to blame the rain that falls on earth, but to manage myself by calming down and enjoying the rain.
In other words, when we have managed to calm down, then we will be easier in carrying out responsibilities.
3. Example the Great People who Are Very Inspiring.
Try to find one or two people we deserve to idolize because they have carried out amazing responsibilities. For example the figure of a father in the family or the figure of a leader in the office . Pay attention to how they maintain self-control and carry out their responsibilities very well.
See what they do when someone else makes them angry and upset? What do they do when things don’t go the way they expect them to? Pay attention to all their behavior, if it is appropriate to emulate, then make them our idol.