Making love is a decidedly overrated activity, because it requires the search for a partner, and you know, this implies a series of unbearable commitments.
First of all, you should get out of the house, which is hateful because in the winter I am cold, in the summer I am hot and in the spring and autumn I get the depression of a change of season.
Then I’m supposed to lie to myself pretending to be attracted to someone when the only thing I care about is a pair of boobs, and I can’t lie to myself, I’m too lazy.
So here is the Outerman who places another pillar of his philosophical system with yet another dodecalogue. When they promote us to religion they will become commandments, be careful.
Here is the list of reasons why masturbating is better than having sex
# 1. You create jobs
Since its inception, the pornography market has fed billions of families around the world. Unfortunately, in recent years the advent of the internet has put it in crisis, with disastrous consequences. Think of all the cameramen, makeup artists, lighting crews, wipers, decorators and costume designers who feed their children with their humble work on Hard movie sets. Not to mention the sex toy industry, petroleum jelly, massage gels, a huge turnover that creates jobs for thousands of workers around the world. So the next time you go to a pornographic portal to get busy know that all those pop-ups and banners that pop up are saving hundreds and hundreds of families, know that the more you masturbate the more you create wealth and jobs, know that to masturbate is to be heroes.
#2. You can have as many women as you want
Sex involves having to settle for only one partner (excluding someone who will do the phenomenon) which is tremendously frustrating for the erotic animal in us. Besides, most have to settle for the same partner for a long time, it’s called engagement I think. Masturbation, on the other hand, allows you to use your imagination to the maximum and immediately find yourself in the dressing room of Striscia la Notizia during an episode that celebrates the showgirls who have trod the scenes in the last ten years, with Canalis, Satta, Lanfranchi, Corvaglia. Special guests Bar Rafaeli and Miriam Leone. Sorry if it is little.
# 3. Make less effort
After a hard day’s work you need just the right hormonal anti-stress release. But how hard it is to have sex. Position here, position there, and wait for me, and a little more, etc .. etc … The expenditure of physical and mental energy to have to adapt to the needs of another individual is such as to prevent any kind of relaxation. Do you want to choke the sparrow’s neck instead with a CD of Sabrina Salerno in the background? A minute and away, the tension disappears.
# 4. Low risk of venereal diseases
The danger of contracting STDs is almost nil, you no longer have to worry about syphilis, scabies, discharge, herpes, HIV and crabs, unless you live with a promiscuous roommate and never wash the toilet bowl.
# 5. Low pregnancy risk
The danger of unwanted pregnancies is almost nil, the danger of desired pregnancies is also almost nil, which is much more significant. But even here the same discourse applies to venereal diseases: beware of the promiscuous roommate.
# 6. You save money
To avoid the two dangers mentioned above, you should buy contraceptives, but these are very expensive as well as unreliable, so masturbation will bring you a considerable economic saving in terms of latex.
# 7. Jesus gets less angry
Jesus is never happy with these dirty things, but if you really have to choose he will more approve of masturbation to premarital sex. If you have any doubts about the practice, ask your trusted priest.
# 8. It is an antidepressant and an anxiolytic
Masturbation causes our brains to release endorphins. The effect is antidepressant and greatly decreases anxiety, as loneliness and confidence in one’s body does not trigger any performance anxiety that a pretentious partner would expect.
# 9. Pampering is not needed
After the act, you don’t have to waste time reassuring your partner about how there is emotional justification for what you did. The cuddles are the proof you must give that you have not been there just to empty the bags. Instead, after a long solitaire, a beer and a cigarette in front of Die Hard 2 nobody can take it away.
# 10. Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
Yes, masturbation is also the most powerful weapon against prostate cancer, and it does not cause hair loss.
# 11. It doesn’t ruin your career
Imagine if Berlusconi had limited himself to spippettarsi the great, now he would still be our prime minister. There is no more powerful opposition than a van full of pussy.
# 12. You can round up your salary
There are many sperm banks on the internet for couples who inexplicably want a child but can’t get one. This is great news for masturbation lovers, who can safely send the product of their testicles in a sealed envelope to the nearest sperm conservation center in exchange for money. Youth unemployment in Italy is 42%. What are you waiting for?
