You also want to be nice to everyone. To be the one who has great relationships, a career, is perfect at home and mainly helps others? The good girl syndrome is very widespread, because we are brought up according to a certain formula – what a good woman should look like in our society. After all, we know from childhood that we have to be good. And then in adulthood we have a problem saying no, making time for ourselves, putting ourselves first, enjoying sex properly , showing our sexuality, having an orgasm, we feel ashamed, we are afraid to express our needs, take something from someone, borrow something… Do you recognize this syndrome too? Are you a good girl too?
In this article I will show you how this syndrome manifests itself, how it arises and how to regain your lost self-confidence and get rid of this syndrome.
SIGNS OF A GOOD GIRL(S)
Good Girl Syndrome can have many different symptoms, but some of the most common include:
- He puts his interests second
- Constantly trying to please others
- Suppressing your needs
- He lets others decide
- He cannot achieve orgasm with his partner
- Feeling guilty when you can’t or can’t help someone
- He can’t say no
- Boyfriend or children are her whole life
- He lets himself be manipulated
- He lets himself be taken advantage of
- He doesn’t have his opinions
- Low self-esteem
- During sex, he mainly wants to please the other person
- Feeling like she’s not good enough
- Suppression of emotions
- Pretenses
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HOW THE GOOD GIRL SYNDROME MANIFESTS ITSELF
If the plane is going down, the good girls help the others put on their oxygen masks. This sentence sums it up perfectly. A good girl often does not realize that she is destroying herself. And if she really wants to help others, she must first help herself. That’s the only way it will go, and in the long run it can also help others. The good girl syndrome manifests itself in different ways. For example, when a woman plans something and then her man comes and says that they will be together that day because he has the day off. And the woman will simply cancel all her needs, hobbies and plans to be with him. Or maybe she doesn’t like to make decisions about something in a relationship. And even if she wants to decide something, she prefers to let the other person make the final decision.
A woman likes to please others. So she always cooks, washes, irons, cleans, takes care of the whole household, children, husband… then maybe even the mother-in-law. She basically just does this kind of maid for others. He then sees himself as a victim and suffers from frequent burnout. Even if he has hobbies, his needs – he prefers to always satisfy others and neglect himself. If someone asks her for something, even if she doesn’t want to do it – she still agrees and goes to do it. Because it’s rude to reject someone. There are plenty of examples of how this little girl syndrome manifests itself. Now let’s see how it actually came about.
HOW IT HAPPENS – THE GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
Good girl syndrome begins in early childhood. Even a scientific study points out that our self-esteem is built in childhood, which then affects us throughout our lives. Already in early childhood, when the child forms his subconscious, thinking, patterns of behavior. We picked this up from our parents and from society. It starts with our parents telling us how to be good. You have to be nice, that’s the only way they’ll like you. You have to give the nicer things to your friends – that’s just the way it is, be nice if her mom wants to give you something – say no. You can’t reach there. Reaching there is bad. You’re not ready to have a boy. You can’t date other people. Do you want to get spanked? They will only use you trust me. And other various famous phrases that we heard from our parents.
It continues through the education system – where we have to be obedient, get the best grades, not be disruptive. And then we maintain all this until adulthood, when we have to be pleasant in the workplace, hardworking, satisfy the boss with our work ethic and performance. We can’t afford to push corners in the workplace, so we try to avoid any conflicts just to keep the place. And also in relationships – look how good, faithful I am, I can cook, clean, serve, satisfy you, above all, don’t leave me. Because I’m a proper good girl after all.
HOW TO GET RID OF GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
It may not be right away, and it may take a while for the good girl syndrome to disappear from your life and your subconscious. But the journey is really worth it, because you will get more time for yourself, you will have more energy, you will feel more joy and happiness in life, you will simply be happier and healthier, and the quality of your relationships and even work will improve.
Let’s see how to get rid of the good girl syndrome once and for all and take your life into your own hands and become the creator of your own life. It’s time for the nice girl to be a thing of the past and be your true authentic self.
1. PUT YOURSELF FIRST
The most important thing is to realize that you have to put yourself first. It is very important for your life. From this foundation, you then influence your overall success and happiness in life. If you want to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself first. Of course, putting yourself first doesn’t mean you should ignore others.
If you ignore yourself, your health, your appearance, your happiness – then it will be really difficult for you to take care of your family and children if you don’t have energy when you are sick. One thing cannot exist without the other. That’s why you need to rearrange your priorities – Put yourself first – self-care, relaxation, anti-stress activities, hobbies, sports, your dreams, goals, joys.
If you want your boyfriend or kids to be happy, then you have to be happy. For them, you are the space that creates a home as you feel as a woman. If you are not happy, neither your children nor your boyfriend will be able to be happy next to you.
HOW TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Fear , guilt and doubt, how others will react to you taking some time for yourself will accompany you. The good girl syndrome will want to fight back a bit because it knows it’s at risk of extinction. Maybe even your friend will talk you out of it, but don’t give up. She explains that if she wants him to have a wonderful home and relationship, you need to take a break from your daily responsibilities. For the most part, our men know what it means to rest. They often go to play games, play sports, chat with friends, or simply let off steam. What about you? Don’t you need time? Of course yes. It’s natural, it’s just new to you. That’s why you can feel these feelings. But ignore it completely. Soon you will feel wonderful positive changes and soon these wines will disappear completely.
TIP: Tell yourself enough is enough and write down on paper what you would like to do to be happy, what you would change in your life, what would be better to do differently. How would you like to run a household? What hobby would you like to do regularly? Wouldn’t you like to stop doing something? Can you delegate some housework to someone?
2. LEARN TO SAY NO
This is very difficult for many people. How to say no? How do I say no so I don’t hurt others? We need to change our approach. For example, imagine the sentence – The grass is green. If you tell someone, you’re not uncomfortable. It’s just a simple sentence. But even the word no is common. Say this word with such calmness. It’s perfectly normal to say that. Don’t forget the consequences if you say yes. For example, lending money like this – if you agree and lend, then they probably won’t pay you back, and maybe they will borrow from you again, and again, and again. That was just one possible example of the consequences of not actively saying the word no. What happens to you quite often is that you automatically nod everything.
You have to learn to be present and consider if this is really something you really want to do. If you have good girl syndrome, then it will certainly be uncomfortable for you to start saying your no, but it is really important. If you’d rather not recharge your batteries with your wonderful hobby that you enjoy and fulfill.
It is always necessary to consider if you really want to do something, if it is not against you and to simply say no. You may find it uncomfortable at first. But after that it will go very smoothly. I had a real problem with it. But thanks to Jirko, I realized that saying no is completely normal. Which gives me the power to create the kind of reality I really want. You just need to realize that this word NO is normal, also what consequences it would have in your future reality if you say yes and last but not least for the present moment. So that she doesn’t accidentally say the word yes automatically. It takes getting out of your comfort zone in the beginning so that you can increase your comfort zone with this amazing skill.
3. WORK ON YOURSELF AND SUBCONSCIOUS WORK
You have to start working on yourself consciously. A good little girl lacks self-confidence. He has a bad perception of his self-worth. Something needs to be done about it, because you will be quite limited in life by this syndrome. Focus on increasing self-love. Self-love is very important because it is connected to your happiness and satisfaction in life and ultimately affects your whole life. In our self-love journey online course you will find everything you need to gain self-confidence, including amazing recordings, meditations and a worksheet and many other bonuses. It’s a complete online course that includes the information, awareness, tools, and techniques you’ll ever need for your self-love and confidence.
You need to start working with your inner good girl. Everything she learned in childhood is deeply rooted in your subconscious. So you need to start working subconsciously. Start working with your inner girl and your inner woman. If you don’t know how to do it – you can find it in our online course the path of self-love . There you will also find how to remove programs from the subconscious that no longer serve you. And there are also great recordings waiting for you there, which will rewrite your beliefs about yourself. In short, it’s a complete course that will free you from this good girl syndrome step by step.
4. STOP TRYING TO PLEASE AND PLEASE EVERYONE
You can’t cater to everyone, you can’t nod to everything. Then it destroys you and inside you feel your helplessness and frustration . Then you might be frustrated and burned out when everyone wants something from you and you don’t get it back. You won’t be good enough for others because you won’t be good enough for yourself. This world just sets up a mirror for you that reflects your inner world and your beliefs about yourself. In my life, I remember moments when I cared for others so much, I wanted to thank them, and in the end I was the worst. Or they turned against me and it was very painful for me. Because you just don’t expect it, you take such good care of them and suddenly this? Does he suddenly turn his back on you? This is how it usually turned out. I let myself be taken advantage of and I also took care of someone who didn’t care at all.
Now I know how these things work. Mainly please yourself. That’s the most important thing. When you please yourself, you feel love for yourself, then you are joyful and thanks to that you spread joy to those around you, who will respond positively to it. You have to realize that you can’t please everyone. If you were to do it like that, then one important person will not be happy – and that is you. The most important one.
5. ACCEPTANCE OF IMPERFECTION AND THE GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
Nothing will ever be perfect, neither you nor anyone else. Imperfection is your perfection. You are special and you have something that others don’t. It is up to you to know deeply what it is. Find your secret treasures that you didn’t even know you had inside of you. When you know yourself better, you will trust yourself better. Stop fighting so that people see you as perfect.
You are unnecessarily depleting your life force, which you can direct somewhere else. Where it is full-fledged. You have to realize that it is pointless to worry about how something on your body or inside your body is imperfect. Don’t waste your strength on this nonsense . Feminine energy must create and create a beautiful space for others, touch others with your heart. And that won’t work until your feminine energy is healed.
READ RELATED ARTICLE: CYCLIC WOMAN AND FEMALE ENERGY
Do you want to start creating a nicer space for yourself and others, or regret something that is fleeting, illusory and completely unnecessary? Also, stop scrolling through social media if you suffer from this good girl syndrome. At least take a break from it for a while. Anyway, he creates these photos only as an illusion. So why go through them and compare yourself to an illusion? There are many benefits to being imperfect . Above all, it also helps us to accept our mistakes. And making mistakes, as we all know, is very educational. If we are learning a new hobby, we will probably make a lot of mistakes. But that’s about it. If we don’t allow ourselves to be imperfect, then we don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes, and because of that, we can’t grow. And most of all, we don’t try anything new after that because we’re afraid of failure. And that is another big blocker in your life.
6. BE AUTHENTIC AND TRUE TO YOURSELF
Never let anyone shape you. Not even to your friend. If he doesn’t like a dress on you, that doesn’t mean you should bury it deep in the closet. What matters is if you like it. That’s the point here. You wear them, you feel a certain way in them. It’s all about you and how you feel. Don’t transform yourself just because someone wants you to. If someone wants to transform you, it only means one thing – they don’t accept you as you are. He’d rather have a certain idea of what you should be like. But even that is a certain reflection of your inner self – you don’t accept yourself as you really are.
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Be yourself – I understand if you don’t even know what that really means to you. Since you don’t necessarily know yourself that well, maybe you’d rather spend your time trying to please and please others that you don’t really know who you really are inside. What is hidden in you, what is your style, what are your opinions. But if you start caring more about yourself, about your happiness, self-confidence, self-worth, self-knowledge, you will start to know yourself. And you will be more authentic, happier and above all more satisfied. And in a while you won’t know the good girl syndrome anymore.
7. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES – GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
You won’t be able to set your boundaries if you don’t know where they actually are. Well, that’s easy to say. If you have good girl syndrome, it will be more difficult for you. But of course it just takes practice. What does the border actually mean? How do you know that my boundaries start somewhere? In order to know where your boundaries are, you need to pay attention when communicating with others. As soon as you feel any discomfort, ask yourself how you would rate it on a scale of 1-10. Of these, 10 are the worst and 1 is the best. So if you feel that someone is behaving with you or around you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, then it is very likely that they are starting to cross your boundaries. In such a case, it is good to talk to the other person who is causing it to us. In no time you will know where your limits are. It just takes practice.
8. SELF-FOCUS VS. GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
When you have good girl syndrome, you send your attention outwards. Looking at others, what they think of you, satisfying them, showing them how good, kind, hardworking you are…but that’s the end. Start sending this attention to yourself. Include the word I in your sentences. Because you are the most important person in the world. This is another exercise that you need to practice regularly.
You can eliminate the good girl syndrome with these points mentioned above. It just takes training and real work on yourself to reap the amazing benefits that await you when you get rid of this syndrome. Practice, persevere and your life will change.
