Infidelity is a growing problem, especially among women. According to a virtual survey conducted in 2010 by Tendencias Digitales, Brazil is the country with the highest rates of betrayal across Latin America. The results showed that more than 70% of men confessed to having ever cheated, while 56% of women declared the same.
Although the research was done only on the internet, it is worth a reference to illustrate how much betrayal is already becoming commonplace for both sexes. However, behavior is condemned by most of the population, including those who cheat or have already committed the act.
Cheating is considered by many to be a diversion of character, however, there are several profiles of people who cheat. In the case of women, many look to other partners for dissatisfaction with the current relationship. In addition, there are cases of women who cheat for revenge and many choose their partner’s friends to commit the act. (Once unfaithful, always unfaithful?)
First of all, it is important to analyze what led to the betrayal. If you are unhappy with your current partner or have felt an irresistible attraction to someone else. There are cases and cases and, if you decide to confess, be aware of all the consequences of this and the great chances that you will not be forgiven.
For what reason did you cheat?
While many men tend to cheat because they do not contain sexual desire, women already have more sentimental reasons for the act. Even if you are sorry, the reasons for the first betrayal can lead to a second or third. You have to have a lot in mind before you decide to confess something.
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- Fun: if you cheated for fun or because you want an adventure, the chances of the behavior repeating are great. Analyze if it is worthwhile to continue the current relationship and do nothing on impulse.
- Passion: if you have never cheated before but fell in love with someone else, the case was certainly special. However, do not deceive your partner now if he realizes that the relationship is over and that you have another one in mind. In this case, it is best to end without saying anything.
- Dissatisfaction: If you are not in love with your lover, but you have betrayed yourself by being dissatisfied with the current relationship, there are two options: try to improve your dating by looking for new things or end the relationship. If the situation is delicate at the moment, confessing can put an end to dating.
Think about his feelings
In any case, confessing the betrayal will cause pain and suffering for your current partner. Even if you want to do this out of heavy conscience, put yourself in his shoes and think what it would be like if he came to you and said he was with someone else. You would probably be sad, hurt, hurt and desperate because of him. Is it worth leaving your boyfriend like that?
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In addition, trust must also be borne in mind. If he trusts you today, he will become suspicious even if you are forgiven. No one easily forgets a betrayal, and once you tell it, you will hardly be able to regain credibility with him again.
Take responsibility for the act
Many people who cheat manage to commit the unfaithful act with tranquility. These people are used to it and simply do not feel any heavy conscience for what they do. However, whoever has always condemned betrayal and ended up getting involved with someone else, will probably have more difficulty forgetting what happened.
If you’re thinking of telling, it’s probably because you feel bad about what you’ve done and want to be forgiven. However, heavy conscience, regret and torture for having done something wrong is entirely your responsibility. Dealing with these feelings is now a punishment for the mistake you made.
In many cases, confessing the betrayal is just a way of throwing the partner the reasons for what happened and seeking forgiveness in order to relieve their own pain. However, in doing so, you make your partner suffer from your mistake. If you are willing to never cheat again, it may be better to just forget about the episode and commit to improving the current relationship. (Is it worth forgiving a betrayal?)
Make a reflection
A single sentence can change a couple’s entire future. Counting or not is something you should decide after thinking about it. If you decide to tell, it is not worth speaking half truths, hiding the reasons and trying to soften the act. The attitude now is between forgetting what happened or revealing everything and waiting for a decision from him.
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To help, here are some questions you should consider:
- Does the relationship now have a future?
- Do I want to correct the mistake and never cheat again?
- Can I accept not to be forgiven and lose him forever?
- Can I accept the possibility of never having his trust again?
- Do I like my boyfriend or the person I got involved with?
- Am I really sorry for what I did?
- Under what circumstances did the betrayal occur? Was it just once?
- Am I willing to speak sincerely about this?
- What can I do to get his forgiveness?
- Will telling the betrayal really ease my conscience?
- Is it worth it to cause suffering for my mistake?
- Am I able to forget what I did?
- Do you cheat because I am dissatisfied with my current relationship?
- Do I really like my partner?
- Do I have problems relating to a single person?
- Did I cheat once or did I do it in all my love relationships?