Is it so difficult to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Have you tried different methods, but nothing worked? And you still continue to belittle your own merits, to justify inaction by low self-esteem and the fact that you are not so good … Enough!
Before looking for another way to increase self-esteem, you need to understand what is at stake. By the term “self-esteem” it is customary to mean one’s own opinion of a person about his importance as a person (about his own strengths and weaknesses, feelings and qualities). Is it so important? Naturally, since the final decisions depend on it.
We ourselves answer if we can do this and that, achieve this and that. And what we think, we can and, ultimately, we get in reality.
Talk about what kind of problems can lead to low or high self-esteem, you can endlessly. Better talk about how to “pump” it to a normal level. Fortunately, the advice of a psychologist on how to increase self-esteem consists of only two stages. So.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence
Improving self-esteem: stage one
Despite the fact that our effective way to increase self-esteem consists of only two stages, it is multifaceted. And it offers various options for overcoming the first step:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people, looking for your flaws.
In this case, we are talking about an underestimated opinion of ourselves. Many of us tend to compare ourselves with our friends or, for example, stars of show business. And this is not true.
In order to answer how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in this case, you won’t have to spend a lot of words. You are the one or only. All other people on earth are among the billions. Your personality is unique and has individual characteristics.
Let’s get acquainted with a small example. You consider yourself a bad parent, because your neighbor Alexander lives alone, but is better with your child. What do such thoughts lead to? To disappointments, regrets, doubts and dismay. You need it? Of course not.
2. Stop comparing yourself to other people, revealing only your own merits.
Overpriced self-esteem is also not always good. After all, as a rule, it is based on the shortcomings of other people and their comparison with them. Are you the most beautiful, strong, smart or cunning among everyone around you? Then our psychological advice on how to increase self-esteem, but it’s reasonable, and not at the expense of such a “trip to others,” will be useful to you too.
Do not believe? Then an example. You consider yourself an excellent employee only because your neighbor Alexander received a lower salary last month than you. Where it leads? Ultimately, to disappointment. Since you will not get any real benefit from Alexander’s lower wages, no matter how proud you are of your own.
3. Stop comparing yourself to the “created idol.”
Many people tend to create some impersonal ideals and constantly compare themselves with them. You set out to conquer the peak and strive for self-development? But at the same time, you understand that you are not yet at the peak and full of flaws? You know that you need to correct these “shoals”. Guilt and shame for unrealized opportunities become your constant companions. You endure them, and heroically continue your chosen path to the “idol”. Then you, like no other, should learn how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence.
What can be dangerous or basically bad in striving for the best, demanding more from oneself than there is now?
Consider an example. You must be a parent who is perfectly capable of understanding his child in any situation. You must become the best in raising your beloved child. Result: chronic fatigue, stress, neurosis. Believe that such aspirations will not lead to anything good. Be prudent and kind to yourself.
4. Stop comparing yourself with yourself, but so many days-years ago.
Considering the question of how to increase self-esteem, the advice of psychologists can sometimes be mistaken for a mistake. What is wrong with being guided by once gained experience and skills? Life “experience” can be called an invaluable burden. This is wisdom that can help in many new situations.
But let’s think about it by looking at an example. You consider yourself a good parent for your second child. Since you do not make the mistakes that you made while raising the first. The result: disappointment, since in reality it turns out that a rapidly changing life makes different demands on the processes of raising children. Can you match them? Not.
5. Do not stop giving yourself an assessment, given your real capabilities!
So. The surest way to increase self-esteem and overcome the first stage is to evaluate yourself according to your abilities. Remember that your self-esteem is not your enemy, but your assistant. She can become your best ally on the path to any achievements.
We consider an example. You can go for a walk with your child, take him to the cinema, buy him a new book. Result: useful actions that will lead to an effect that can increase self-esteem.
Raising self-esteem even higher: stage two
Try to understand that it’s nothing from your skills, your abilities and your potential if you don’t act. You can turn self-esteem into a valuable resource if you consider it by the number of committed useful actions.
Do not give up “running in a circle”:
- Decide on your own capabilities;
- Find options for their implementation, make a plan;
- Use the result of actions when determining self-esteem;
- Redefine your capabilities.
Now you know how to increase self-esteem thanks to the advice of a psychologist. Try the proposed option. You will see: the final results are worth it. Work on self-awareness and increasing self-esteem will be easier if you understand its essence. And she – in the absence of comparisons, assessment of their own capabilities and the commission of actions.