Resilience is the ability to face adversity without collapsing and even emerge strengthened, with a renewed confidence in our potential to face the future . Undoubtedly, it is an essential skill because it not only allows us to deal with problems and conflicts with less stress, but also reduces the level of distress and discomfort allowing us to maintain a minimum level of functioning.
Psychologists have spent years analyzing the behaviors of resilient people to find common ground. They discovered a number of characteristics of resilient people that enable them to better cope with adversity. It is a combination of social and problem solving skills as well as emotional self-management and forward thinking that allows them to face problems with greater integrity and find strength in the midst of the storm.
What characterizes a resilient person?
- Feeling of self-efficacy. Resilience comes, to a large extent, from confidence and confidence in our ability to solve problems. Indeed, people who have experienced a major trauma and have been able to overcome it on their own are more likely to successfully face future problems and find the tools to solve them because they are more confident in their abilities to deal with them.
- Deep self-knowledge. A resilient person is not a naive optimist, but rather has a fairly objective self-image. He knows her strengths and potentials as well as his weaknesses and shortcomings. This allows him to compensate for his weaknesses to better cope with adversity.
- Internal locus of control. It is the tendency to interpret results as a direct consequence of our actions, so that they are under our control, instead of thinking that they are due to external forces. The internal locus of controlhelps the resilient person to take charge of their life even in the worst moments and to take responsibility for their decisions.
- Creativity and intuition. Resilient people also use creativity to solve problems and conflicts. I can adopt different points of view and come up with fresh ideas which lead to original solutions. Often this also means following the indications of intuition and having imagination, especially in stressful situations.
- Flexibility. It is the ability to adapt to different contexts and interlocutors without losing our identity. Resilient people are as flexible as the rush, instead of showing the iron resistance of the oak, which allows them to flow better when things go wrong. They are able to adapt to circumstances, but without losing their essence.
- Sense of humor. It is the ability to keep a smile even in the midst of adversity and to make the best of bad luck. A resilient person will be able to face problems with a sense of humor and, above all, to laugh at themselves, a skill that will help them defuse and even psychologically distance themselves from the situation .
- Optimistic projection into the future. Resilience doesn’t mean seeing everything pink. We are aware of the problems and understand their complexity and impact, but even so we can be able to set new goals for the future and, above all, find the most appropriate strategies to achieve them. A resilient person knows that no matter how dark his present, the sun can shine again in his future.
- Communication skills. One of the characteristics of resilient people is that they are able to connect with others and ask for help. They don’t generate pity, but they know how to express their feelings and emotions, so that others perceive that vulnerability and are more willing to help them. This allows them to build a strong support network to get through the toughest times.
- Realistic Expectations. Resilient people are realistic. They don’t ask for elm pears. I can objectively evaluate the possibility of certain events happening so that I can make sound plans for the future and minimize the chances of feeling frustrated.
- Internal motivation. Resilience largely involves being able to find the right stimulus to act and move forward when everything seems to be against us. Resilient people find the strength and reasons to fight within themselves, so they are less dependent on external changes.
- Perseverance. One of the characteristics of resilient people is that they are able to persevere in achieving their goals, despite setbacks. The obstacles, in fact, become a challenge that pushes them to continue. These people do not view problems as pitfalls on the road but rather as challenges to be solved.
- Desire to excel. Another characteristic of resilient people is the desire to constantly improve, grow and refine the skills acquired. They are not people who are easily satisfied, but who always try to go one step further to expand their limits and get out of their comfort zone . This attitude predisposes them positively to face problems.
- Clear goals. “There is no favorable wind for the ship that does not know where it is going”,said Seneca many centuries ago. Having a clear destination is especially important in stormy times because it allows us to focus on the goal. This is why resilient people always keep their dreams and goals in mind. They are aware that the path can be changed or lengthened, but not the goal they want to reach. This gives them tremendous strength to avoid obstacles.
- Consistency. Resilient people are also consistent. They know what they want and make decisions to achieve it. They have a clear meaning of their life and, instead of letting themselves be carried away, they keep the course by aligning themselves with their values and dreams. They are independent people who act according to their own codes, without being overly influenced by others.
- Making changes. Resilience isn’t just an attitude, it’s also a behavior. Resilient people are able to recognize their functional and dysfunctional behaviors to apply the necessary changes and find effective solutions. While others cry over spilled milk or fall into victimhood, a resilient person will rush to put the broken pieces back together.
