“I want to be respected, valued and loved” is what all women are looking for. How many times have you not been frustrated because you think your partner doesn’t value you? Or how many times have you felt that he left you aside and it hurt you and shook the relationship?
Men and women are different and have different ways of showing affection and concern, and often we are unable to show what we want and the man does not understand us. The result, therefore, is the frustration generated by the feeling of not being valued and respected. But should changing this attitude come from men alone, or can we women take certain steps to achieve this right to be respected and valued?
Today, then, we’re going to talk about:
· I want to be respected and valued, but how?
· How to feel more valued
· How our posture influences these aspects of the relationship
In a relationship, one of the most important things is caring for one another. The man needs to have his space and the woman needs to feel respected and valued. How then do people who love each other go to a stage where they no longer understand each other?
Some small postures can change this. The woman wants to feel safe, wants to be heard, to have her husband’s attention, wants to feel attractive … – This is a good time to show this text to your partner! – But we also need to take some action!
I want to be respected and valued, but how?
1. Be a friend and partner
I’m sure, at some point in your childhood, you heard from your parents not to do with your classmate what you wouldn’t want him to do to you, right? This is one of the richest teachings, and it explores the side of reciprocity and empathy in relationships, whether in relationships with friends, family or with your partner.
When we are not satisfied with some aspect of the relationship, we have difficulty seeing both sides of the coin, and we tend to consider only our complaint, that is, we value the lack we feel, and the inability of the other to match what we expect.
So, let’s go back there at the beginning. The discomfort of knowing that we also have our share of blame is closely linked to the weight of responsibility, because, for the most part, we do not realize that our share exists. But it is not only there, but needs to be worked on when it comes to relationships.
So, before pointing the finger or transferring, even if unconsciously, all the responsibility to your partner with regard to not feeling valued and respected, ask yourself: do you offer them the same conditions?
Laugh and make laugh, donate and receive, make happy and be happy, be a friend, companion of your husband or boyfriend. This is the exercise of reciprocity, and believe me: it needs to be practiced every day, tirelessly.
2. Love yourself before you want to love the other
It may seem like a well-known tip, since the idea of self-love is well known, but it is necessary to defend this cliché.
Building relationships is part of an internal process. First, you need to be well settled with the woman you are, and love yourself completely. This does not mean that you need to seek perfection in order to be happy with yourself, because it does not actually exist, and we know that, right?
The big secret is to love your set, with the qualities and defects that make you that unique woman.
Be a safe woman and convey this confidence to your partner. A woman who knows your strengths is always attractive and will make sure that her husband or boyfriend does not feel the pressure of having to praise you all the time.
When you can understand the strong and confident woman that exists within you, you will certainly be able to apply it to your relationship, so that your partner will respect you and value your partner.
3. Don’t cancel each other out
The man wants to have a companion beside him not only to accompany him, but also to share with him the decisions and analyzes on various aspects of life. Do you always say “I want to be respected”, but you don’t know how? Your posture can give you the answer. A woman who is constantly dependent on man’s attention is tiring, and will not be able to feel respected and valued. Of course, the man will not be able to give 100% of his attention, as he has to share himself with his work, children and household bills. And it has nothing to do with love, he loves you, but no one can give himself completely. Neither you nor him.
If you expect your partner to complete you, you will be frustrated and the relationship will start to have some problems. Nobody completes anyone, you need to be well resolved with you so that you can put less weight on your partner, because your happiness does not depend only on him, it depends on you too!
So, women, be aware of this tip: do not cancel each other on behalf of your partners. Although, in the short term, this posture may seem like a true proof of love, over time, it becomes a loss of admiration, and along with it, respect and appreciation go on, fundamental to the success of any relationship .
4. Defend your convictions
This item is linked to what we talked about above. Another tip for you who says “I want to be respected” is: do not cancel yourself out and have confidence in yourself. It does not matter at what time or circumstance: if you want to be respected and valued by man, you need to remain firm in your beliefs.
But you see, when I speak to defend them, it doesn’t mean that, because of that, you must be an irreducible, intolerant and, in good Portuguese, bossy woman. On the contrary. The intelligence behind putting your position in front of things is exactly the ability to discuss them to arrive at a common denominator.
Surely, you may have heard that intelligence is an aphrodisiac, isn’t it? So, use it to your advantage and show yourself to be a strong woman, who, for who she is, deserves the admiration of her partner.
5. Don’t self-sabotage
The little traps that we set ourselves every day are real enemies when the goal is to be valued and respected by men. Most of them may be unconscious, the result of our insecurity, but believe me: they still cause scratches on the image that we pass on to others.
Do not believe in yourself, do not find, nor feel beautiful, do not believe in your potential as a professional, as a housewife, as a mother, as a wife. To think that your defects are greater than your qualities.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with feeling a little pressure from society, after all, sometimes people put a weight on our shoulders that there is no way to hold, but I’m talking about believing in yourself.
At the end of my first marriage, I was destroyed because, besides not taking care of my relationship, I believed in what my ex-husband told me. After a while, I discovered my potential and the woman I really was and I didn’t let anyone else shake me.
In common, these situations of self-sabotage are caused by ourselves, that is, they are the result of a process that must be avoided at all costs. And here, I usually use a saying that applies very well in these cases: “A lie, told a thousand times, becomes a truth”.
So, at the slightest sign that you are conforming to what your head says or self-sabotaging, you know, right? Give a voice to the well-resolved woman with the attitude that is certainly within you. And try to do this not only to earn the respect and appreciation of your partner, but to make yourself worthy of that recognition. To be able to appease the feeling of “I want to be respected” start by respecting yourself and showing that you deserve respect for being who you are.