Many questions arise after another night he is gone. You haven’t seen each other for days, and you were even thinking about going out with that kitten you met at the gym. But, it seems that he guesses, because when you seem to have overcome and when you least expect it, your ex reappears. And the doubts also arise with him: Are we together again? Is he my boyfriend, friend or lover? Or my ex, who do I sometimes hang out with when ‘he’ is in the mood?
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Or maybe you’ve never been boyfriends, you’re just friends. But there seems to be a different climate coming up every time you meet. Some pecks have already appeared, and sometimes you have even walked around hand in hand. But nothing is defined, you still meet as friends and you do not know if you feed the attacks of a crush in front of him. Honestly you don’t know what you are.
Want to know how to act in the face of this? We will help you in this dilemma. Let’s look at some ways to try to define this:
- Analyze your relationship with him:
It is good to go out with someone without pressure, without that responsibility to do everything right, have fun without charging for a relationship, give a kiss from time to time without commitment, yes it’s cool! But, you have to be aware that in the case of an ex, being in an indefinite relationship with him is like stepping on slippery terrain. There is little caution, and you must be careful not to get hurt. Or if your affair is with a friend, what is at risk is your friendship with someone special, who will surely be missed if your expectations don’t work out. (How do I know if I’m in love?)
What you need to try to understand is what this man represents in your life. Be sure what you want with him. Ask yourself:
– What place do I want him to occupy in my life? As a boyfriend or friend?
– Does he show that he wants something serious or am I just a hobby?
– Where is this going?
- Talk to him:
Call him for a frank conversation. Say that you need to know what is going on. What you are? Friends, he might say. But, ask what kind of friends? Are you available? Demand him a position in that relationship.
Openly say what you feel, the good or the bad that this relationship does to you. It is very likely that he will try to disguise and leave the conversation without deciding anything. Do not let this happen. Look him in the eye when you talk to him and don’t leave a breach for escape.
You cannot define this relationship alone. You need answers, so insist on that. The sooner you find out who you are, the happier you will be, with or without him as a boyfriend.
- What defines a relationship is another relationship:
It is true that one should not look for someone to try to forget someone else. But, in a definition of relationship, the presence of another person can help define feelings.
- Observe what you feel when:
– Hears him speak or flirt with another woman;
– See him kissing another woman;
– He seems to really like another woman;
- And what is the reaction when:
– See you being petted by another man;
– You comment about a beautiful cat in the bar;
– A friend of his is interested in you at the club;
– You chat with another and leave him alone;
Do you feel good, or does it generate the jealousy of the possession syndrome? Can you fall in love and give yourself totally to someone else? (Find out what types of jealousy are | Discover yours!)
Photo: (c) Can Stock Photo
The answer to such questions will reveal a lot about what each one expects from this relationship. So, use this tactic, try to get someone between you to force a reaction from him. Even if you are not in the mood to be with someone at the moment, at least let him think that there is a possibility, that he has competition and needs to define what he wants. Or, if you just want to be with you and others, you will end up losing you, and finally you will only regret that you lost a diamond while collecting stones.
- Impose limits:
If you talked and finally understood each other as boyfriends, now just enjoy your relationship. But, let’s say that you talked and came to the conclusion that each one goes to one side. You will be just friends and intend to relate to other people. The time has come to impose limits on this friendship.
The so-called “colorful friendship” only benefits those who have no real feelings for anyone and just want to ‘stay and stay’. If that’s your case, fine. But if you want to find someone to love and are not willing to share a cat with anyone, get out and make it clear to him that you no longer want your kisses and cuddles. Stop it! Forget this “stay” thing, because in the end you can “stay” and suffer.
- Make a pact with yourself:
Decide and tell him that you don’t want to be in a relationship like that anymore and impose yourself! When deciding and communicating this to him, make a pact with yourself and vow never to get involved in that indefinite bid again. Maintain your posture and do not let relapse interfere with your plans to limit your affection, avoiding accompanying you in a cinema for two and even the traditional kisses of farewell when he visits you at home. Try your best not to be alone with him, which will avoid your attacks.
Defining a relationship is not always easy. It’s like walking on a battlefield all mined, you have to know where to step so you don’t end up in pieces. But using tactics like these you will know what steps to take to at least maintain a good friendship.