The phrase “To love is to suffer”, affirmed by many in love and reflected by the most sensitive, reveals several truths in a few words. A courtship can mean many happy moments for two, displays of affection and complete happiness. However, not everything is pink and worries go hand in hand with those you love.
Fear of betrayal, loss, lies and other disturbing feelings appear at certain times in the relationship and can indicate the onset of crises and even lead to a breakup. These feelings are normal, because when there is a relationship, it is natural that the lover wants to be sure that he can trust his partner and that he has made the right choice.
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Each person carries secret thoughts and desires, which allows for suspicions and uncertainties about the other’s real intentions. The behavior, the difference in thoughts and the lack of sensitivity with the partner can also generate disagreements. It is the attitudes that provoke the aggravation of the fears and, as a result, start the sleepless nights and the accumulation of stress.
The truth is that human weaknesses need to be identified and accepted in order to be controlled. Suffering is a natural consequence of love and it is possible to end fears in order to have a complete and happy relationship.
Here are some tips to learn how to deal with afflictions and prevent this from affecting your relationship:
The first step for those who want to control feelings is to identify them. Observe the situations in which you are afraid of something related to your partner and what are the reasons for this bad feeling to appear. In general, afflictions are generated more by the power of destructive imagination than by reality. (How do you know if he really loves me?)
For example, if your boyfriend didn’t call at the scheduled time, he might have forgotten or was doing something important. However, you may think that he didn’t care because he was with someone else or because he didn’t value you, which would be thoughts based on negative imagination, not reality. Realize those moments when your mind gives pessimistic meanings to the facts and try to change the focus of thought. Once you’ve identified your fears, staying in control and regaining security will be much easier.
Without trust, a love relationship does not work and the tendency is to end in failure. If the reason for your worst nightmares is a lack of trust, consider what makes you not believe him and whether this relationship is really worth it for both of you. The lack of trust can arise for several reasons, such as the negative history of the partner before dating, the mistakes made during the relationship or even an unfounded paranoia. However, as much as he has already stepped on the ball and hurt you, you need to trust someone you love or give up on the person. If he has shown regret, give him a new chance at heart and allow him to prove that he will not disappoint you again.
The negative feelings generated by the concerns need to be controlled, especially if there is no evidence against the partner. It is difficult to stifle emotions when there are doubts and fears of being deceived, but suffering must be endured so as not to cause further personal and relationship strain. (Check out some valid tips for those who do not want to sink into fights)
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Think rationally if all of these emotions are being provoked by imagination or if the possibility that something is wrong is really high. Observe your partner’s behavior and avoid unnecessary fights. If you find something concrete, talk to him calmly and then decide what is best for both of you.
Do not overestimate your partner:
Self-love must come first if affection for others is healthy. You cannot love your partner more than you love yourself, as this is putting a common person on a pedestal and making him look more special than he really is.
This behavior will only cause you more suffering and lead to a loss of interest, as a man needs a partner and not a shadow or a fan. A partner is necessary to share the happy moments and to make growth possible as a person, and not to have life dominated, generate stress and be part of your thoughts 24 hours a day.
Focus on other areas of life:
The love relationship is just an area in a range with several strands, such as the professional, intellectual, social and spiritual fields. Human balance occurs when all sides of life are balanced. Reflect if you are not spending too much time on the relationship and try to focus your mind on other tasks.
Improve your professional skills, start projects, do physical activities, develop hobbies and other actions that didn’t let you have time to worry. Look for balance in your life to be happy and have a healthy and positive relationship