Confidence is one of the most difficult to understand feelings experienced by a person. On the one hand, it is difficult to live without trust, one might say, it is completely impossible if you live in a society of people. In some situations, someone still has to be trusted, except for himself. And on the other hand, trusting people, knowing their nature [its dark side], and even more so after you have repeatedly been punished by life for your credulity, is even more difficult. So some of us are at a crossroads, not knowing which decision to make – to trust or not to trust a person, people, both in general and in each specific situation. Friends, to solve this issue competently, with minimal risk for yourself, you need to understand what trust is, how and why it arises in us and how it can be managed. To do this, I suggest you read this article in which I will tell everyone about trust,
What is trust?
Trust is a positive relationship between people, allowing each of the parties to be confident in the decency, openness, goodwill and honesty of the other side with which it is in one or another relationship.
Or here is another, in my opinion, more convenient definition of such a concept as trust. Trust is an unshakable conviction of someone’s honesty, decency, integrity and loyalty. The one whom we trust, to some extent, predict for us, we know what to expect from him within the framework of the agreement that we have with him or within the framework of the hopes that we pin on this person. Thus, trust is also our certainty, and confidence in the actions of another person. When we trust a person, we are confident in our expectations and this confidence gives us strength, makes us bolder, contributes to our activity. When you don’t trust a person, you don’t know what to expect from him at every subsequent moment. And such uncertainty frightens, fetters you, forces you to constantly strain and be vigilant, so as not to fall prey to someone’s unpredictability. Thus, distrust leads to hostility, isolation, passivity. And trust, on the contrary, promotes friendship, cooperation, activity.
Trust is blind and reasonable. Blind trust is characteristic of naive, infantile and simply lazy people who are easier to believe than to check and double-check. It is easy to trust, but it is difficult to doubt and seek grounds for trust. Reasonable trust is trust, which is based on various laws that show who can be trusted and in which cases and who cannot; on understanding the motives and goals of people explaining their behavior; on the evidence of sincerity of someone, without which any promises of people are empty words. Reasonable trust does not arise immediately, for example, in cases where you just liked a person and want to trust him, it matures gradually. Such trust must be earned by one’s actions, one’s devotion for a certain time and sometimes by victims. After all, how can you trust a person, who, for example, is not ready to sacrifice for his sake some of his desires, comfort, interests. He must earn your trust by making you, if not completely, then partly equal to yourself, denying yourself something for you. Then you will have reasonable reasons to trust him. And although such a well-deserved trust is not always long and absolutely reliable, it still makes more sense than trust based on an empty place or on beautiful promises.
The benefits of trust
There can be many benefits to people trusting each other. True, and harm, unfortunately, too. First of all, trust positively affects business cooperation and personal relationships. When business partners trust each other and, of course, justify this trust, their affairs go quickly and efficiently, without unnecessary bureaucracy and legal battles. Well, in my opinion, normal personal relationships cannot be built without trust. I can’t imagine how you can live with a person under one roof, raise children, go to common success, make plans for life and jointly implement them without trust. No laws can replace the benefits of trust, because laws are based on violence, and trust on the honesty and decency of people, as well as on their rationality. Indeed, in most cases it is beneficial to conduct business and build relationships on trust, and not on laws. Laws can be circumvented, laws can be applied in different ways, laws force people to sue, which takes a lot of time and money, while trust allows you to do everything quickly, efficiently and effectively. And the business only benefits from this, and personal relationships.
Thanks to mutual trust, people can focus on their own affairs without being distracted by unnecessary problems associated with distrust in order to make them even better. After all, if you are sure that you will not be deceived in the store, in the hospital, at work, at home, then you do not need to worry about this. You can work, create, create, benefit the society in which you live. Trust has a positive effect on the productivity of many people. So the benefits of it as a whole are quite obvious.
Lack of trust
It’s a benefit, but you also need to understand that such a partly carefree life, when practically no one deceives you anywhere and therefore you trust a lot, can negatively affect your fitness for life. Easy life relaxes people and this is the main lack of trust, it just lulls our vigilance. The high level of trust in society makes many people too vulnerable to unscrupulous and overtly hostile people. There will always be those who abuse your trust and you need to remember this. A carefree, well-fed, full of pleasures life relaxes. You trust everyone, because you are just too lazy to not trust someone, because otherwise you will have to think about how to play it safe from cheating, how to avoid making mistakes when making important decisions, and so on. And it makes you strain. Easier to believe easier to accept, easier to accept someone else’s opinion. But simpler does not mean more correctly. Mutual trust makes life easier, but without critical thinking, which develops well just under more severe conditions, it will not become safer. After all, you never know who, where and how can deceive you, taking advantage of your trust and what will be the consequences of this deception.
Life is too harsh, when a person has a wolf and deceit at every step and his price is very high – this is another extreme. You can’t live like that either. Because it’s very difficult to live like that. This is not life, but a constant struggle for survival, which is very exhausting. Therefore, one must still strive to ensure that people have more reason to trust each other. This is not difficult to achieve if people are confronted with a choice between distrust and a hard life and trust, and an easy life. Most, I am sure, will choose the second option. As a matter of fact, now many of us do just that – they strive to earn the trust of others, for the sake of a comfortable life and mutually beneficial cooperation. And in order not to relax too much, you can fool each other over trifles, so that a person does not suffer much from someone’s deception, but at the same time he had a reason to think about his vigilance and criticality to various life situations. Life must bite a person so that he maintains his vitality.
What kind of people are trusted?
In order to successfully deal with various matters, one way or another connected with cooperation with other people and have excellent relations with others, especially with loved ones, you need to ensure that people trust you. Therefore, let’s see what people are most often trusted and why.
First of all, people trust those whom they know well, who for a certain time have proved to them their, though not ideal, but still honesty, decency, honesty, loyalty, reliability, and so on. A familiar person, if not cool, evokes more confidence than a stranger, because we know him well, or in any case think we know him, so it’s easier for us to predict his actions, understand his motives, goals and possibly even influence him. All this saves us from fear of such a person, which creates favorable conditions for trusting him and cooperation with him.
Also, people tend to trust those who are largely similar to themselves. The more common people are, the higher their level of trust in each other. Therefore, it is so important to be able to adapt to people, in every possible way showing them their similarity with them, if you want them to trust you. This is done by everyone who works with people, from sellers to politicians, to those politicians who want to please people. The logic here is the same – we know ourselves relatively well, therefore we understand those who are like us much better than those who do not like, seeing their reflection in them. People like us seem to us to be predictable, understandable and more friendly, so we are not afraid of them and trust them.
They still trust well those people who sacrifice a lot for someone, in particular for those whose trust they want to earn. Suppose if you are doing something for another person at the expense of yourself, then this cannot but make a positive impression on him. After all, few are capable of it, right? People are selfish in nature, so if they sacrifice something for someone, this suggests that this someone is really very important to them. This is the basis of trust in such people. What is important to you, you will protect and appreciate. By sacrificing something for people or a specific person, you show them how much you value them, almost, or even as much as yourself. Well, how can you not trust you after that.
People willingly trust those who promise them a lot of all the best. Beautiful promises are intoxicating, such people just want to trust, because their words sound so sweet, so gently caress the hearing, such beautiful and vivid associations evoke. Fraudsters and politicians willingly take advantage of this, promising a lot, promising boldly, promising persistently. Therefore, they are trusted, and often believe even repeatedly, after once burned at such an unreasonable trust. After all, I really want someone’s beautiful communication to be true, at least a little, if only for a short while. And the justification for their erroneous gullibility can always be found so as not to worry about this. So beautiful promises perfectly contribute to entering into trust in people. True, they still need to be able to give, based on the hidden and explicit desires of people, and this is not every person knows how to do.
Авторитеты, эксперты, лидеры, также вызывают к себе доверие. Такие люди излучают уверенность и ярко демонстрируют свою компетентность в различных областях, влияя таким образом, во-первых, на склонность людей подчиняться более сильному, властному и знающему индивидууму, которая обусловлена инстинктом выживания, ведь в любой стае, включая человеческую, важно подчиняться вожаку, чтобы действовать слажено, сплоченно и эффективно. А вожаками очень часто становятся самые сильные и умные представители стаи. А во-вторых, они, эти авторитеты, эксперты, лидеры, избавляют людей от необходимости нести ответственность за свои решения, потому что берут ее на себя. И люди на это охотно соглашаются, поскольку большинство из них ни за что ответственности нести не хочет. Они доверяются тем, кто, как им кажется, может о них позаботиться. Ну кому еще, как не авторитетам, они могут доверять? Если самим себе, тогда нужно во многом самому разбираться, принимать серьезные, ответственные решения, быть готовым к любым, в том числе и негативным последствиям этих решений. Не все к этому готовы. Гораздо проще переложить весь груз забот на авторитетного лидера и позволить ему принимать за тебя решения. Ну а для этого ему нужно хоть сколько-нибудь доверять.
People who offer something new, unusual, interesting, can also inspire confidence in themselves. They attract attention because they stand out from the crowd, and then they interest people with new ideas, concepts, approaches to solving various problems and tasks. Confidence here arises from curiosity and the desire to find an easier way to solve your problems. In addition, from an evolutionary point of view, it is important for us to attach importance to everything new and unknown in order to understand how this new and unknown can affect our lives. Any living thing needs to notice changes in the environment, exploring and evaluating any differences for dangers or opportunities. Ivan Pavlov called it the research reflex [now this reaction is called the orientational reaction]. Therefore, a person who gives people something new and interesting,
Also instinctively people trust those whom they need. For example, children trust their parents because they need their care, help, advice. Without parents or those people who replace them, they simply will not survive. Therefore, they are forced to trust them, no matter how much they care about them, good or bad. Adults also trust those whom they need to one degree or another and on whom they depend. For example, they can trust doctors, if not everyone, but they will trust some specialists, otherwise they simply will not dare to accept help from them. Confidence in whom you need allows you to accept his help, care, advice, guidance, instructions. This trust will help you calm down, relax and dare to step towards the unknown, in which other people will partially or fully decide your fate. Thus,
Many times I noticed one interesting feature in the behavior of people who differ in credulity and openness. They can trust a stranger who speaks beautifully, behaves kindly with them, jokes a lot, simply because he did not deserve their distrust. That is, the lack of negative experience with a particular person is the basis for such people to trust him. It looks a little strange, because any negative experience needs some generalization. If one person betrayed you, deceived you, then this does not mean that this particular person is bad, dishonest, dishonest, but that people are, in principle, capable of betrayal and deception. And this must be taken into account when communicating with all people. Therefore, any person, no matter how wonderful he may seem, should deserve not trust, but trust. But here,
An important role in trust is played by human behavior, by which people judge his seriousness and responsibility. More consistent people in their affairs, logical thinking and acting people are trusted more than those who, as they say, have seven Fridays a week. If a person said one thing in the morning, and another thing in the evening, if his words diverge from deeds, if he constantly contradicts himself and if he starts to do some thing, and then, without finishing it, throws it and takes up another thing, then people will inevitably one gets the impression that such a person has a wind in his head and therefore it is very difficult to trust him, because you don’t know what he will wander into his head at every subsequent moment and what he will do in this connection. Such a person may be honest, or in any case, he may try to be so. But his frivolous behavior will scare people away from him. Such qualities as inconsistency, instability, unpredictability, inconsistency, inconsistency, undermine the credibility of those who demonstrate them. Conversely, those people who behave logically, consistently, predictably, consistently, give the impression of serious, stable, reliable and responsible people who are easy to understand and therefore easier to trust.
It also happens that a person who inspires confidence in himself is associated with people who trust him with someone whom they knew well or who they trusted and who justified their trust. That is, if you look like the one whom people are accustomed to trust, in this way, partly in a tricky way, you can gain their trust. Or, a person may be associated with some kind of information that people trust and due to it arouse confidence in themselves. For example, people believe that the representatives of a certain profession are for the most part honest and decent people, and this faith of theirs is superimposed on all representatives of this profession, which they, to one degree or another, by default trust. Given this, if possible and necessary, you can adapt to the patterns and stereotypes of people, for the sake of their confidence in themselves.
Where does trust come from?
Let’s now talk about what generally forces us to trust anyone. Still, we are born with a certain degree of trust in the outside world, which means there is some need for this, some sense. The tendency to trust, according to my observations, is caused by both biological need and social factors. We can attribute a person’s biological need to other people, say, in childhood or when he is not able to take care of himself, for example, due to disability. Weakness in this case forces us to rely on others, and without trust in people this cannot be done. One who is forced to rely on other people is forced to trust them to accept their help.
From an evolutionary point of view, mutual trust allows both people and other living beings to act in a coordinated, immediate, effective manner. Imagine what would happen if the animals did not trust each other, say, at the time of danger. Imagine a grazing herd of antelopes or zebras. And suddenly one of the animals notices a lion in the bushes and rushes off, making it clear to all the other members of the herd that there is a predator nearby and must be saved. What will happen if some animal from this herd does not believe in general panic, hesitates, considering this information as a joke or a hoax and does not run? It will simply perish, right? Trust is the key to survival. Predators also act in concert when they hunt in packs because they trust each other and the leader. And this trust is justified.
In humans, as in animals, instinctive trust is expressed in the herd instinct, thanks to which people in a group can act collectively, without any centralized leadership. In some situations, we act as everyone does, relying on a kind of collective mind, on the experience of the majority. Also, this instinct allows us to imitate others, to take an example from them in unfamiliar situations, when we need to act, but we do not know how. And this automatically implies our trust in these other people, because without him you won’t imitate anyone. Thus, trust helps us survive and makes our lives more comfortable. Unfortunately, the herd instinct also has negative aspects. In some cases, it causes people to panic, which only hurts them. But here it should already be noted
As for the social factors affecting a person’s tendency to trust the people around him, here an important role is played by upbringing, training and life experience. If a person has been taught from childhood that one needs to trust others, he will become overly trusting. Provided, of course, that his life experience does not refute this attitude. Although some people suffer from such attitudes, knowing about their fallacy, they cannot do anything about them because they are too strong. Such people need specialist help to help them rethink these settings. Also, if a person was taught that authorities, leaders, specialists are always right, always know more than him, always honest, he will relate to such people with confidence. This is a fairly common attitude in our society, the purpose of which is to make people too interdependent. And if life did not bite and beat such a person for excessive credulity, if everything is working out more or less well, and he interacts well with other people, then he will have no reason to distrust others. But most often there are such reasons. Because even in an ideal society there will be people who take advantage of the credulity of others in their interests. The ability to notice situations when they use your credulity, correctly evaluate them and draw useful conclusions from them, depends on training. This must be taught. A person should be able to summarize his experience and the experience of other people, so as not to fall for the same tricks of those who abuse his trust. and he interacts well with other people, then he will have no reason for distrusting others. But most often there are such reasons. Because even in an ideal society there will be people who take advantage of the credulity of others in their interests. The ability to notice situations when they use your credulity, correctly evaluate them and draw useful conclusions from them, depends on training. This must be taught. A person should be able to generalize his experience and the experience of other people, so as not to fall for the same tricks of those who abuse his trust. and he interacts well with other people, then he will have no reason for distrusting others. But most often there are such reasons. Because even in an ideal society there will be people who take advantage of the credulity of others in their interests. The ability to notice situations when they use your credulity, correctly evaluate them and draw useful conclusions from them, depends on training. This must be taught. A person should be able to generalize his experience and the experience of other people, so as not to fall for the same tricks of those who abuse his trust. when they use your credulity, correctly evaluating them and drawing useful conclusions from them depends on the training. This must be taught. A person should be able to generalize his experience and the experience of other people, so as not to fall for the same tricks of those who abuse his trust. when they use your credulity, correctly evaluating them and drawing useful conclusions from them depends on the training. This must be taught. A person should be able to generalize his experience and the experience of other people, so as not to fall for the same tricks of those who abuse his trust.
In work, trust is also of great importance, especially in working with people. Therefore, in various labor groups people are taught to trust each other. In my work, trust also plays an important role, very important. If the client does not trust a specialist, turning to him for help, then it is very difficult for him to help. His overly critical perception of any information coming from a psychologist does not allow him to open up, think about important points, and work out his problems with a specialist. He is fighting a psychologist, together with him to deal with his problem. Well, what kind of treatment effectiveness in this case can be discussed. Therefore, nature has laid the foundation for trust in us, and society heats it so that we can interact with each other.
How to trust people?
Despite the need for at least some trust in others, it is very difficult for some people to do this, so they have serious problems in relations with other people, even with the closest ones. They just don’t believe them. And this has its own reasons. In the life of such people, in the past, adverse events could occur, because of which their confidence in others decreased to zero. These people do not believe anyone, they are afraid to believe, even when it needs to be done. But it’s impossible to live like that, you still need to trust someone. And therefore the question arises: how to do this, if a severe wound and fear in the soul do not allow anyone to open up? For example, a woman who has negative experience with men completely ceases to trust them, because of which she cannot establish her personal life. What can be done here?
Based on my experience in solving such problems, I can say that you must first carefully study your experience in order to understand all its laws. It often happens that people themselves are drawn to those who cannot be trusted and are constantly deceived, used, betrayed, because in their cases it cannot be otherwise. If you communicate only with liars, then you will always encounter lies, if you deal only with traitors, then you will be constantly betrayed. Of course, on the one hand, you need to generalize your own and others’ experience, I wrote about this above to protect myself from mistakes in the future. But on the other hand, generalization should not be comprehensive and extremely critical. It is nevertheless necessary to find differences between people and to rely on them, evaluating the capabilities of this or that person.
All men or all women cannot be good or bad, all sellers cannot be liars, thinking only of profit, all bosses cannot be bastards, ruthlessly exploiting their employees and so on. All people can be prone to certain things, to the same lie, but not all and not always resort to it in the same situations. Therefore, you need to understand how you got in touch with a person who did not live up to your trust in order to understand your mistakes. It is also necessary to understand how you generally approach the choice of people with whom you decide to deal, to start relationships. You need to understand what and why you believe. Until a person understands what he did wrong, as a result of which he becomes a victim of his trust, fear of people will not leave him, which means that he will not be able to begin to trust them.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, you cannot say with absolute certainty who you can trust and who you cannot. Some time ago I thought that according to the actions of people you can understand whether they deserve trust or not. Say, if a person betrayed once, then most likely he will betray and again, so there can be no trust in him after the first betrayal. And vice versa, if a person was always responsible for his words, was consistent in his actions and could even act to his own detriment, just to keep a promise, then he can be trusted. This logic has its own truth. Such conclusions can be drawn. But now I understand that they will not be accurate. Having studied the nature of man and his behavior better, I realized that there is no exact pattern here and cannot be. If a person betrayed once, it is not necessary that he betray a second, third or more times. And vice versa, if a person was honest with you in ninety-nine cases, then he may well deceive you for the hundredth time. There is no absolute pattern here, that’s what is important to understand. The behavior of people depends very much on the circumstances in which they are. And people themselves are unstable in terms of their views on life and on other people. Therefore, you can never be sure that this or that person will not deceive you or vice versa, in this or that situation. Therefore, trusting someone, no matter whom, we always take risks. And people themselves are unstable in terms of their views on life and on other people. Therefore, you can never be sure that this or that person will not deceive you or vice versa, in this or that situation. Therefore, trusting someone, no matter whom, we always take risks. And people themselves are unstable in terms of their views on life and on other people. Therefore, you can never be sure that this or that person will not deceive you or vice versa, in this or that situation. Therefore, trusting someone, no matter whom, we always take risks.
But how to minimize this risk? Here, I believe, it is important to look at the interests of a person, which depend on your trust in him. Not because in our society everything is built on mutual interests, so that we rely only on the good faith of people or on the laws. No law will force people to be always with all honest and decent, but people can strive to be such for their own benefit. Someone, however, does this by conviction, but when the interests of people meet their convictions, according to my observations, they prefer to act on the basis of their interests rather than beliefs. So it is important to ensure that it is beneficial for people to have confidence in themselves. Competition in all areas of life contributes greatly to this. In relations between people, including between people of different sexes, it also exists. All other things being equal [although they are rarely equal in this matter] we make a choice in favor of that friend or partner who is always honest with us. And here it is very important to be able to value the honesty and decency of other people, and not try to use it. Because if you do not care about the honesty of another person, then he will either cease to be honest with you, or move away from you, or even completely leave your life, and you will be surrounded by only people who, like you, will be enjoy the honesty and trustfulness of others. I know many examples when, by their behavior, people scared away from themselves those who can be trusted and attracted those who behaved in a similar way, that is, they used the honesty, decency and good faith of other people, especially their friends and partners. As the saying goes, like attracted to like. Therefore, one must pay attention to such regularities in order to be able to change one’s life by learning to trust other people.
You can also learn to trust other people through a competent assessment of the risks that are associated with your trust in them. Having assessed these risks, you can play it safe, and if this is not possible, you can assess the possible losses due to betrayal and deception, which you run the risk of in the event of an unfavorable development of events, and then compare them with the profitable that you will receive if your trust will be justified. The fear of trusting other people is not always so great as to take it too seriously. Yes, people can deceive you, you will never be completely immune from this, but does their deception always do you irreparable harm? And in the event that people live up to your expectations, in a certain situation, what will you get? How much are the benefits and harms of your trust in this or that person in a given situation comparable with each other? Think about these questions to explain to yourself the meaning of your fear.
Confidence in people should always be based on something. You can’t be trusted simply because you want to trust, or because you like a person. It is necessary to look at the interests of this person in order to understand how profitable or unprofitable it is to deceive you specifically in this situation. I know people who, with the help of mutual trust, collaborated with each other for ten years or more, and then some situation contributed to the betrayal by one of them. This happens, people are not constant in their behavior, whatever they may be. But betraying under certain circumstances and betraying constantly, at the first opportunity, is not the same thing. This makes people different. And you should notice this difference in order to try to surround yourself with people worthy of your trust and yourself to meet the requirements necessary for such a relationship. And in extreme cases, when it is very difficult for you to trust a particular person, try to assess all the risks that accompany your trust or distrust of him. Indeed, sometimes not trusting someone in a certain situation is much more dangerous than trusting.
Loss of confidence
Loss of trust is a very important point in the topic we are considering. When this happens, the lives of some people change dramatically, most often for the worse. Trust in our time, although I think it has been like this before, in itself has a great price. It is not easy to deserve it, but you can lose it in one moment. Any trust, no matter what it is based on, can be lost due to human errors that he can make by accident, without any malicious intent. Most often, the loss of trust occurs due to the unjustified hopes of those who have trusted. Moreover, it is not necessary that the person was actually deceived. He can be deceived by himself, expecting from people that which should not be expected. After all, it happens that people fantasize everything for themselves, and then expect from the real world that which in principle cannot happen in it. And when their fantasies do not translate into reality, they look for the guilty and blame them for dishonesty. So you can lose the confidence of some people even when you are not doing anything for it. It’s just impossible to adapt to all people, trying to gain their trust or wanting to keep it.
Of course, the loss of trust can also be based on natural reasons when a person who has lost the trust of others is to blame for everything. Such a person may simply not understand what he is losing along with people’s trust in himself. Why trust? To simplify life, first of all, right? If you trust and trust you, then it’s easier for you to do business with people and build relationships with them. I wrote about this above. But people are not always fully aware of this idea when, for the sake of some short-term benefits, they undermine their trust or even lose it from the side of serious and very useful people. How many businesses lost their heads because of their greed, fear, shortsightedness and outright stupidity, they lost confidence in themselves and in their business from their clients and partners. Maybe in some situations it makes sense to lose someone’s trust for a certain benefit, this happens. In each case, its own nuances. Some individuals, betraying and deceiving, achieve great successes in life and people forget all their sins and forgive them all. For the winners are not judged. Therefore, sometimes such an exchange – trust in, say, power and wealth, is very beneficial. But when trust is more important than what people sacrifice for it, this indicates their shortsightedness. It turns out to be very profitable. But when trust is more important than what people sacrifice for it, this indicates their shortsightedness. It turns out to be very profitable. But when trust is more important than what people sacrifice for it, this indicates their shortsightedness.
For example, trust plays a very important role in trade. People buy from those whom they trust, so gaining trust from customers is one of the most important tasks of any professional seller. But the problem is that some, perhaps even many sellers, abuse this trust, therefore, trading strategies have to be constantly changed so that each subsequent approach to the client is original in its own way. After all, all the old approaches have already blackened themselves. So you can conduct business and many of them in this way conduct. The same advertising is constantly deceiving consumers, both trifles and big. But things can be done in another way – building trusting relationships with customers. And following the example of some large and successful companies, we can clearly see this. We can see the benefits of this approach. Because the same brands are expensive, that they are associated with people with a guarantee of the quality of a particular product or service. A brand is not just an advertised name, not just a complex of ideas and value characteristics about a product or service in the minds of consumers – this is something you can trust. Though not always and not in everything, but still it is possible. Because the brand is expensive and there is no point in mixing it with dirt for the sake of some small benefits achieved by deceiving customers. A person’s name can be a brand if that name has weight. If people believe a person who offers something to them, sells something to them, it will be very easy for him to work with them. And if he is not stupid, he will protect his name from all dirt, first of all, by acting honestly and honestly. not just a complex of ideas and value characteristics about a product or service in the minds of consumers – this is something you can trust. Though not always and not in everything, but still it is possible. Because the brand is expensive and there is no point in mixing it with dirt for the sake of some small benefits achieved by deceiving customers. A person’s name can be a brand if that name has weight. If people believe a person who offers something to them, sells something to them, it will be very easy for him to work with them. And if he is not stupid, he will protect his name from all dirt, first of all, by acting honestly and honestly. not just a complex of ideas and value characteristics about a product or service in the minds of consumers – this is something you can trust. Though not always and not in everything, but still it is possible. Because the brand is expensive and there is no point in mixing it with dirt for the sake of some small benefits achieved by deceiving customers. A person’s name can be a brand if that name has weight. If people believe a person who offers something to them, sells something to them, it will be very easy for him to work with them. And if he is not stupid, he will protect his name from all dirt, first of all, by acting honestly and honestly. achieved by deceiving customers. A person’s name can be a brand if that name has weight. If people believe a person who offers something to them, sells something to them, it will be very easy for him to work with them. And if he is not stupid, he will protect his name from all dirt, first of all, by acting honestly and honestly. achieved by deceiving customers. A person’s name can be a brand if that name has weight. If people believe a person who offers something to them, sells something to them, it will be very easy for him to work with them. And if he is not stupid, he will protect his name from all dirt, first of all, by acting honestly and honestly.
True, it is worth noting that any name can be slandered, slandered, mixed with mud, craftsmen for this will always be found. But the owner can do the most damage to his name with his short-sighted decisions aimed at extracting short-term benefits to the detriment of the interests of those who unconditionally trust him. Any deception of trust complicates further cooperation between people, and sometimes makes it completely impossible, because because of it, destructive fear takes the place of constructive thoughts. Therefore, for any self-respecting trader and just a person who wants to have strong and fruitful relationships with people, the trust of customers, partners, friends, and loved ones is sacred.
For love relationships, trust is especially valuable. Love without trust is like a river without water. And here I can tell you, based on my experience in solving family problems and the problems of lovers, that, unfortunately, many people deprive themselves of the opportunity to live a happy life only by betraying their partners for the sake of short-term pleasure, thereby killing any trust in themselves. Sometimes such trust is undermined for a while, and sometimes it is killed forever. I often have to solve such problems with people who did not think about their future at a time when they needed to sacrifice some of their desires for it. Indeed, this is often the case – a person cannot resist the temptation and temptation. It is especially easy to betray those who unconditionally trust you and do not expect anything bad from you. Such people do not expect any trick, they don’t put the wheels in the wheel, they do not ask unnecessary questions, they simply rely on pure, sincere relations, making a contribution to them in the form of devotion, openness and a certain freedom that they provide to their partner. To deceive them is like to deceive a child. And some people do this, to the detriment, including their own happiness. In itself, the abuse of trust, especially of people who are harmless in terms of honesty, is a great temptation that not always and not everyone can resist.
How to regain trust?
Now let’s talk about how to regain trust after it has been lost. Perhaps for some of you, this particular task is currently relevant. I note that it is often more difficult to regain trust than to earn it. The reason is obvious – after betrayal and deception, wounds form on the soul and negative thoughts appear in the head, which a deceived and devoted person will feel and remember for a very long time. Therefore, in order to regain his trust, it is necessary to save this person from the pain and fear that protect him from repeated deception. Or, you need to replace all of his negative feelings and thoughts with new, even stronger thoughts and feelings. Let’s see how this can be done.
According to my observations, in order to return trust, in many cases it is necessary to sacrifice something for the sake of the one who was betrayed, deceived, used. The greater your sacrifice, the higher the chance that you will be forgiven and believed again. The essence of this technique is to make a strong positive impression on the person whose trust needs to be returned. New positive, stronger and more vivid feelings and thoughts should overlap those thoughts and feelings that cause pain to a deceived person and make him afraid of repeated betrayal and deception. That is why many guilty men make beautiful and expensive gifts for their wives, trying in this way to make amends to them and regain confidence in themselves. Some of them are doing well. But it’s best to sacrifice some of your interests, deeds, desires, your way of life, to show a person that you are ready for a lot of things. Such sacrifices are not bribery; it is a demonstration of the seriousness of one’s intentions. A man will not change himself and his life for the sake of whom he does not value. Therefore, if he does this, then the one for whom he does this is really important for him. This means that such a person can be trusted, regardless of his actions in the past.
Some people boast that they regained their trust in simple promises, forgiveness of forgiveness and admission of guilt, without any atonement for it. But I do not see any reason to consider such cases, because in them, firstly, everything happens too chaotically, when people quarrel, then reconcile, then one betray, then the other, when they quarreled in the morning and in the evening they made peace. This, in my opinion, is a frivolous approach to life, and we need not talk about it. And secondly, there is nothing to learn and learn here. Hanging noodles on the ears after having deceived, betrayed, framed, used, is not so difficult when the person to whom they hang it wants it himself. Therefore, I will not offer you to ask for forgiveness, give beautiful promises, admit your guilt, explain yourself to a person in order to regain his confidence in himself. You can do this without me. If they will be ready to believe you, after your words: “I won’t be like that anymore,” I can only be glad for you. This is a very easy way to regain confidence.
But serious people need serious evidence that it again makes sense to trust the person who betrayed them. And such evidence is precisely the victims. But not only them. Your usefulness and need are also important. A person whose confidence you want to return, you need to see in this some benefit for yourself. For why restore confidence in someone who is of little use, what is the point? Think about how you can be useful, to those people whose trust you intend to return. Think about their interests, desires, needs, problems that you could help them solve. You need to ensure that people need you, then they will find the reasons why they will trust you again.
In some cases, it is necessary to fully disclose to the person whose trust you want to return in order to show him your weaknesses that he could use against you. This will show him that you depend on his honesty just like he does on yours. And if you betray him, then in revenge he can inflict serious damage on you. This approach to regaining confidence is similar to military parity, in which people trust each other forcedly. Perhaps you will say that such trust is not entirely correct, because people not only trust each other, but are forced to depend on each other and even fear. Maybe so. But in some situations, only such an approach can achieve a positive result. So keep that in mind.
Situations are very frequent when adults, most often parents, want to regain the trust of the child, which for one reason or another has seriously undermined. The child initially trusts his parents, he believes everything that they say, because it depends on them, needs their care and attention, and also learns from their lives. But having abused his trust, you can set him against yourself, you can lay a deep grudge in him, which then will make itself felt. Such a child will not obey adults, because he does not believe them, he is offended and angry with them. To regain his trust, one must overshadow his past experience with adults, a new experience that will teach him to believe them. Children need the example that parents give them, not their words. They learn a lot from adult examples, so if you cheated on a child, after which he stopped trusting you, then you will have to behave honestly with him ten, twenty, a hundred times in a row, fulfill his promises in front of him, to consolidate in him a new experience of communicating with you, to teach him to trust you again. Heart-to-heart conversations will not help, gifts will not help, promises will not help. Your behavior is what the child attaches importance to. We can say that children are a reflection of adults with whom they spend the most time and most often communicate.
But the trust of parents in their child largely depends on how well they understand it. We were all children, we were all teenagers, we were in a transitional age, we were faced with certain problems that seemed nonsense to adults, but for us at that age they were very important. Many of us were unsure of ourselves until we found our life path, formed our “I”, and did not achieve the first successes in adulthood. We were all in the state in which our children are now. But for some reason, many adults forget this experience when they communicate with their children in different languages, not wanting to understand them, well, or not having such an opportunity. And then we talk about the problem of fathers and children. There is no such problem. There is a problem only of fathers, parents, but not children, who, by virtue of their development, are not responsible for this misunderstanding by adults. And what kind of trust can there be in adults who do not understand, whose problems are not taken seriously, who are told what to do, but do not show by their own example how to do this. As a result, children do not trust adults, and adults, not understanding their children or not wanting to understand them, also do not trust them.
Thus, if parents want to trust their children, they must first secure their trust. Then the children will be able to open up before them, share their feelings, fears, interests, desires, and most importantly, they will begin to listen to their parents. To establish such a trusting relationship with your child, you need to understand it, you need to remember yourself at his age and look at life through the eyes of ten, twenty, thirty years ago. A good understanding between people, especially between adults and children, whose outlook on life varies greatly due to age differences helps build trust between them.
In conclusion, I want to say that the issue of trust is one of the most acute in any society. Because without people’s trust in each other, their life will be very complicated and stressful. Therefore, trust must be stimulated. But trusting everyone in a row is also impossible, because even in the most developed society people are deceiving and betraying each other. We have to look for a compromise, which I see so far in minimizing the damage from abuse of the trust of others by some people. The tendency of people to deceive, betrayal, use each other, laid in them by nature itself. Culture can minimize these desires, but not completely eradicate them. Therefore, it is important to create for people such living conditions in which excessive trust of some and abuse of others by them can negatively affect, for example, the material condition of a person or his reputation, position in society, but not on his health, much less on physical survival. An affluent society seems to be doing pretty well with this task, as it allows most people to fight to improve their quality of life, rather than survival. Therefore, excessive credulity in it can lead to less serious consequences than in a society where, due to the low level and quality of life, deception and betrayal can do more serious harm to people. Perhaps in the future, even more advanced and improved models of society will be implemented, thanks to which it will be easier for people to trust each other and abuse of each other’s trust will not lead to serious problems. since it allows most people to fight for improving the quality of their life, and not for survival. Therefore, excessive credulity in it can lead to less serious consequences than in a society where, due to the low level and quality of life, deception and betrayal can do more serious harm to people. Perhaps in the future, even more advanced and improved models of society will be implemented, thanks to which it will be easier for people to trust each other and abuse of each other’s trust will not lead to serious problems. since it allows most people to fight for improving the quality of their life, and not for survival. Therefore, excessive credulity in it can lead to less serious consequences than in a society where, due to the low level and quality of life, deception and betrayal can do more serious harm to people. Perhaps in the future, even more advanced and improved models of society will be implemented, thanks to which it will be easier for people to trust each other and abuse of each other’s trust will not lead to serious problems.