When we hear the phrase “infantile person”, we usually imagine a person as irresponsible, independent, not serious, incapable of making well-thought-out decisions in a timely manner. That is, this is such a person who, despite his adult age, behaves like a child. And he also thinks like a child, because he is at an appropriate level of development. Such adult children can create big problems, both for themselves and for those around them. After all, infantilism is all the more dangerous the more significant a person is for them. It’s one thing when an adult uncle plays toys, instead of pursuing a career, raising children, taking care of his elderly parents and realizing some ideas of his own, so as not to live a life in vain, and it’s completely different when this one doesn’t uncle who grew up from childhood is a father, chief, official, president. In this case, his infantility can cost a lot not only to him, but to all those people who depend on him. Friends, in this article I will share with you my vision of the problem of infantilism and tell you about the ways I have tried to solve it.
Please note, I will talk about infantilism, namely as a problem, and not just as a phenomenon that has both positive and negative sides. In this case, it is important for us to discuss the negative aspects of infantilism in order to solve the problem with it. Therefore, if you consider yourself an infantile person and this does not bother you at all, then you can not read this article so as not to spoil your mood. I repeat, for those who consider infantility a problem and want to deal with it.
First of all, let’s define the phenomenon under consideration. Infantilism is a pathological condition characterized by a backwardness of physical and mental development, as a result of which the features that precede previous age stages appear in adults. Simply put, infantile people are adult children who cannot realize that childhood has passed and adulthood requires different, more serious and responsible behavior from them. Let’s look at several types of infantilism.
Physiological infantilism is, from the point of view of medicine, a lag in physical development, which can be caused by poisoning, cooling, infection of the fetus during pregnancy and oxygen starvation of the fetus during childbirth. Also, a child’s metabolic disorder, various diseases in the first months of life, and a number of other factors can become the reason for such a lag. All this slows down the growth and development of all physiological systems of the body. Unfortunately, no one is safe from these problems. But if parents responsibly approach the conception, bearing and childbirth of the child, and the subsequent care of him, then the likelihood of their occurrence will be low.
Mental infantilism is a delay in mental development, the result of which is the immaturity of a person. The behavior of such a person does not meet the age requirements for him. His lag is manifested mainly in the underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere, inability to make independent, well-considered decisions, unwillingness to adhere to norms of behavior adequate to his age. Such people retain children’s personality traits that manifest themselves in all areas of their lives.
Social infantilism is the inability to adapt to existing conditions and the inability to change them. It is also a person’s unwillingness to assume the responsibilities, obligations and responsibilities associated with the process of growing up. This reluctance is due to a violation of the socialization mechanism in a person, he is simply not ready to live like adults. Some experts in such cases say that infantile people are afraid to grow up, and I add to this that some of them still can not do this without outside help.
Legal infantilism is the lack of legal knowledge and attitudes, a low level of legal consciousness and a sense of responsibility for one’s behavior within the framework of law. An infantile person may have a great desire to get the result he needs without realizing the consequences that he may face, acting illegally. In other words, infantile people, as I believe, do not fully realize the need to comply with legal norms. For them, the law is an unnecessary restriction, and not a necessary condition for creating a normal, civilized, comfortable life. Children do not like prohibitions, they do not understand why something is impossible there, when you really want to. They do not understand that rules are needed so that order is established, not chaos and anarchy. And adult children, which are infantile people, also, unfortunately, do not understand this.
The manifestation of infantilism
Let’s talk in more detail about how infantile people behave in order to understand the seriousness of this problem, both for these people themselves and for the society in which they live, as well as for those around them.
I am sure that many of you could recall many different examples of the manifestation of infantilism, which you personally are very striking. Some of you may even suffer because of the infantility of a loved one – a husband, wife, son, daughter or the same boss. Infantilism is a common problem [if this is a problem for you], so many are familiar with it. I also know her firsthand and not only thanks to articles and books on this topic, so I will share with you my experience in communicating with infantile people.
First of all, it is necessary to understand that adult life differs from children’s life primarily in that the price of errors is much higher in it. The fact that we were forgiven in childhood will not be forgiven in adulthood. No one wants to babysit with a formally adult, much less a stranger, unless there is some benefit. But infantile people do not understand this. They often behave as if everything could get away with it, as in childhood. Many of them do not know how to solve their problems through dialogue and cooperation, so they can get into a fight, both literally and figuratively, to defend their interests, completely not thinking about the consequences of such actions. Or, as some women often argue, of course, infantile, you can have a walk with someone from the heart, well, with someone you just don’t like to show yourself and belittle your opponent. By doing this, they only make themselves unnecessary enemies, instead of agreeing normally with people and solving problems with them. In general, stupid emotional behavior, unnecessary mistakes, the price of which infantile people are not fully aware of, unjustified aggression, hasty superficial conclusions on the basis of which they draw their conclusions about someone or something, all this is a manifestation of infantility.
Even infantile people really do not like, and sometimes they cannot, because they are not accustomed to this, bear responsibility for their lives, not to mention someone else’s life. This is especially striking, and I think, not only to me. Such people always blame someone else for their troubles, failures and rely on anyone, but not on themselves. Because of this, it is simply impossible to conduct a constructive conversation with them, trying to solve some problems or problems with them or even for them. For what is the point of discussing a problem with the infantile if it is not going to seek a solution to it, because, in his opinion, someone else is to blame for it, and it means that this other one should solve it. That is, it turns out that circumstances must change, people must change, everything, according to the infantile, should change, but not him. And he does not need to do anything, since from him, he believes nothing depends. This is a dead end, unpromising position. It does not make sense to adhere to it, except to justify its passivity. Therefore, such people always have an excuse for their failures, mistakes, misconduct, associated with some external factors. Only who needs it is an excuse. It does not even need the infantile himself, even though he calms himself with it. Because to improve your life, you need to influence it, and not wait until it itself changes.
The infantiles do not want to look for flaws in themselves, they do not want to change something in their behavior in order to solve a problem. Such a position in life deprives them of the main thing – power over their own lives. If others are to blame for your troubles, then your life depends on them, you gave them power over it, and they will dispose of it at their discretion. And if for children this is basically normal when adults, more experienced and knowledgeable people solve their problems for them or help them solve these problems, then for an adult this approach to life can be very dangerous. Adults in most situations need to rely primarily on themselves, because excessive trust in others, on whose shoulders they are happy to shift their problems, can cost them a lot. Not expensive in the sense of money, which, of course, one must also take into account, and above all, in the sense of the consequences that they may face because of their blind trust in others. After all, there have always been enough people wishing to profit from other people’s problems. This in no way means that you need to solve all your problems yourself and do not trust anyone at all. You just need to be careful in this matter, remembering that it is human nature to pursue primarily their interests, and not strangers. And infantiles often forget about it when they completely trust “good” people, believing in their honesty and selflessness. that you need to solve all your problems yourself and do not trust anyone at all. You just need to be careful in this matter, remembering that it is human nature to pursue primarily their interests, and not strangers. And infantiles often forget about it when they completely trust “good” people, believing in their honesty and selflessness. that you need to solve all your problems yourself and do not trust anyone at all. You just need to be careful in this matter, remembering that it is human nature to pursue primarily their interests, and not strangers. And infantiles often forget about it when they completely trust “good” people, believing in their honesty and selflessness.
As a psychologist, I can say that it’s difficult to help infantile people in some situations, because they don’t want to change anything in themselves, and without this it is simply impossible to solve some problems. For example, in relations with the opposite sex it is extremely important to be compliant at some points, and not always insist on your own thinking that you are always and in everything right. It is important to be prepared to sacrifice something so that these relations are normal, stable, strong, trusting and long-term. And if a person is too selfish, which is typical of infantiles, if he thinks only of himself and does not take into account the desires and interests of other people, then he will always have problems with them, especially in a serious relationship with the opposite sex, in particular with his partner, no matter what person he is. The desire and ability to take into account the position and interests of other people distinguishes a mature person from an immature one. The solution to any problems in relations with people is most often possible only if a person admits his wrongness in certain moments and wants to change. But infantile people rarely go for it, so their relationship with others, especially with their partner, resembles a bickering cat and dog. They are ready to excitedly talk about how bad their partner is, how many shortcomings and vices are in him, but they don’t see the need to think about themselves and their behavior. Even if they are convinced of the importance of carrying out work on themselves, they still will not do anything, they will wait until other people adjust themselves to their capricious and changeable character. Which, of course, does not happen in most cases.
The next point concerns work and cooperation with infantile people. I already wrote above and I will repeat once again that it is difficult, and sometimes impossible to do serious things with them, because at any moment they can give up everything, forgetting about all their obligations and promises and go somewhere else, where easier and more interesting, where you do not need to answer for anything. As children are often inconsistent in their actions, so infantile people whose mental state is in the same path can suddenly change their plans, if their fantasies can be called plans at all, and abandon everything, leaving their partners with a bunch of unresolved problems . A frequent reason for such refusals from further cooperation is precisely the problems that infantile people do not like and are not accustomed to solve. They like simple solutions, easy paths that quickly lead them to success and pleasure. And in adulthood, easy ways are rare and all sorts of difficulties cannot be avoided, you need to work with them. Plans can be one, but things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. which quickly lead them to success and pleasure. And in adulthood, easy ways are rare and all sorts of difficulties cannot be avoided, you need to work with them. Plans can be one, but things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. which quickly lead them to success and pleasure. And in adulthood, easy ways are rare and all sorts of difficulties cannot be avoided, you need to work with them. Plans can be one, but things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. And in adulthood, easy ways are rare and all sorts of difficulties cannot be avoided, you need to work with them. Plans can be one, but things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. And in adulthood, easy ways are rare and all sorts of difficulties cannot be avoided, you need to work with them. Plans can be one, but things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. and things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. and things can go very differently. It is never safe from reefs. Life in general is so arranged that you can’t foresee everything in it, you won’t calculate everything, you won’t be safe from everything. As one proverb says: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines, and walk on them.” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. Yes, they forgot about the ravines, and walk along them. ” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people. Yes, they forgot about the ravines, and walk along them. ” Well, what serious business does without roughness, without sudden, unexpected difficulties? And it’s very unpleasant when your partners, because of their infantile nature, give up before the very first difficulties, leaving you alone to deal with them. But there is nothing to be done, it must always be taken into account when working with infantile people.
It should also be noted that such people in most issues are not independent, so they constantly have to control, direct, force or motivate to do something useful, including for themselves, and not spend all day doing all sorts of nonsense. They need a “strong hand.” And they, or they themselves are looking for her, or she finds them. Imagine a man, a father of two children, who plays video games in his spare time, instead of helping his wife and children and solving other domestic issues. Can such a person be called an adult? He does not understand what responsibility lies with him. Therefore, either the wife will start to force him to do something for the family, becoming that very “strong hand”, or everything will go into disrepair for them, and then life itself will force them both and him to move. So if a person cannot force himself to do something, then someone else or something else will force him. Or here’s another example – a pregnant woman, instead of monitoring her health, runs around her friends, visits cafes, clubs and can even drink alcohol and smoke without thinking about her child. Think, well, is an adult woman capable of this? After all, such irresponsible behavior will have negative consequences, including for herself. And what should her husband do, unless, of course, she has one to reason with her? He has to use his power and strength to make her behave more responsibly to their future child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. Or here’s another example – a pregnant woman, instead of monitoring her health, runs around her friends, visits cafes, clubs and can even drink alcohol and smoke without thinking about her child. Think, well, is an adult woman capable of this? After all, such irresponsible behavior will have negative consequences, including for herself. And what should her husband do, unless, of course, she has one to reason with her? He has to use his power and strength to make her behave more responsibly to their future child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. Or here’s another example – a pregnant woman, instead of monitoring her health, runs around her friends, visits cafes, clubs and can even drink alcohol and smoke without thinking about her child. Think, well, is an adult woman capable of this? After all, such irresponsible behavior will have negative consequences, including for herself. And what should her husband do, unless, of course, she has one to reason with her? He has to use his power and strength to make her behave more responsibly to their future child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. without thinking about your child. Think, well, is an adult woman capable of this? After all, such irresponsible behavior will have negative consequences, including for herself. And what should her husband do, unless, of course, she has one to reason with her? He has to use his power and strength to make her behave more responsibly to their future child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. without thinking about your child. Think, well, is an adult woman capable of this? After all, such irresponsible behavior will have negative consequences, including for herself. And what should her husband do, unless, of course, she has one to reason with her? He has to use his power and strength to make her behave more responsibly to their future child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. to make her behave more responsible before their unborn child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him. to make her behave more responsible before their unborn child. This is if he can not explain anything to her using words. And more often than not, because they don’t want to listen to him.
There are many such examples. People are not aware of either the responsibility that lies with them or the consequences that they may encounter while living a reckless lifestyle. This is where the negative side of infantility is manifested, when all the good that is in the infantiles, and the good in them, of course, also is, is depreciated by all the bad things that make the problem of infantility a problem. Therefore, such people often have to babysit, just like with small children. And you need to control them so that they do not do stupid things. That is why the state adopts various kinds of restrictive laws, the purpose of which is to prevent people from harming themselves. Adults do not need such laws; they themselves understand what is good and what is bad. But infantiles need to be controlled and limited for their own good. After all, why do we control and limit children so as not to allow them to harm themselves, right? We cannot give them complete freedom of action, we cannot allow them to choose for themselves what they will eat, what to do, where to go and with whom to communicate. They have too little knowledge of life and a fragile psyche to make such decisions on their own, although they certainly need to be accustomed to this. The infantiles also do not have a proper understanding of life and there is no control over their emotions, because of which they are often thrown from side to side. Therefore, such people need to be organized, controlled, motivated / stimulated, directed, limited, and so on. Only in this case can they be of benefit, including for themselves. But this is not always easy to do. For example, for a family with children, such a non-self-reliant person who constantly needs to be pushed, constantly monitored and limited, compare to another child. He and time, and strength, and often nerves have to spend. Such a person is not one of the pillars of the family, but its burden.
I also often notice that infantile people don’t like to thoroughly understand something, to delve into something, to study something. They are more willing to listen to the advice of other people, especially if these tips are simple, understandable and do not require effort to implement them. That is why such people are easily seduced by some attractive offer and deceived. In particular, various authorities and advertised companies, movements, brands make a strong impression on them. All these financial pyramids, religious sects, lotteries, casinos and the like, around which a lot of noise is made and where they make beautiful promises and then deceive, are aimed specifically at infantile people who believe in beautiful fairy tales. Infantiles are children, and children love miracles, they love when something or someone comes out of nowhere and satisfies all their desires. Therefore, they can, for example, take a loan from a bank to realize some kind of “their” momentary desire, without thinking at all about how they will repay it. And subsequent problems because of this will turn out to be somewhat of a surprise to them. Or they can invest their money, say, in a financial pyramid, no matter how it positions itself, which promises them high interest, without wondering how their funds will be used to ensure such a profitability. In general, they don’t want to delve into something in order to better understand this and make a more competent decision, protecting themselves from various troubles. Because of this, they often create problems for themselves and their loved ones. how will they return it. And subsequent problems because of this will turn out to be somewhat of a surprise to them. Or they can invest their money, say, in a financial pyramid, no matter how it positions itself, which promises them high interest, without wondering how their funds will be used to ensure such a profitability. In general, they don’t want to delve into something in order to better understand this and make a more competent decision, protecting themselves from various troubles. Because of this, they often create problems for themselves and their loved ones. how will they return it. And subsequent problems because of this will turn out to be somewhat of a surprise to them. Or they can invest their money, say, in a financial pyramid, no matter how it positions itself, which promises them high interest, without wondering how their funds will be used to ensure such a profitability. In general, they don’t want to delve into something in order to better understand this and make a more competent decision, protecting themselves from various troubles. Because of this, they often create problems for themselves and their loved ones. how exactly their funds will be used to ensure such profitability. In general, they don’t want to delve into something in order to better understand this and make a more competent decision, protecting themselves from various troubles. Because of this, they often create problems for themselves and their loved ones. how exactly their funds will be used to ensure such profitability. In general, they don’t want to delve into something in order to better understand this and make a more competent decision, protecting themselves from various troubles. Because of this, they often create problems for themselves and their loved ones.
Learning and working infantile people also do not like. They like to have fun, have fun, relax, enjoy life in all available ways. Moreover, they dream of a beautiful, vibrant life in which they will have everything that they want. In their opinion, such a life itself should fall on their heads. This is their difference from adults. Adult people do not just dream, they plan their life because they understand that in order to succeed in anything, you need to learn, work, constantly overcome the resistance of the external environment. It’s just that nothing is given in this life. It is only in fairy tales that miracles happen, and life has its own laws and you need to be able to follow them in order to survive and live with dignity. We are not studying to get a certificate, diploma and other pieces of paper, which nowadays practically mean nothing. We learn in order to better understand the world in which we live and be able to effectively solve various problems, the quality of our life depends on the successful solution of which. And we work to live and live well, sometimes doing things that we don’t like to do, because we need to do this, because no one else will do it for us. This is an elementary understanding of how life works. Whether you like or don’t like to study and work, we are not talking about this. If you want to survive, and even more so, you want to live well, beautifully, brightly, with dignity, you must do it. True, some infantiles manage to sit on the neck of other people for quite a long time and even their whole lives, but counting on it, even omitting all the moral aspects of this issue, is at least not serious. Will you sit on someone’s neck or not, how long you sit on it, until you are thrown off, and what will you do when you are not sitting on anyone, hanging your legs, you need to think about all this in advance if you choose such a life for yourself. But the infantiles do not, they live one day. Such people, in fact, rely on luck when they blame others for their well-being. But she smiles not at all. Anyway, can you call luck a parasitic lifestyle in which you just eat, wake up, lose and burn your life, instead of somehow declaring yourself in it? Let everyone answer this question for himself, no matter who he is. when they blame others for their well-being. But she smiles not at all. Anyway, can you call luck a parasitic lifestyle in which you just eat, wake up, lose and burn your life, instead of somehow declaring yourself in it? Let everyone answer this question for himself, no matter who he is. when they blame others for their well-being. But she smiles not at all. Anyway, can you call luck a parasitic lifestyle in which you just eat, wake up, lose and burn your life, instead of somehow declaring yourself in it? Let everyone answer this question for himself, no matter who he is.
The next thing that attracts attention in infantile people is their mismanagement. Infantil does not keep order, neither at home nor in the workplace. Such people have a mess everywhere. And this, as a rule, is a reflection of the mess in the head, where, for the sake of objectivity, it is not so simple to restore order even to adults. Order is a consequence of the high organization and discipline of man. And what kind of discipline can an infantile person have for whom any adherence to some rules becomes an unbearable test due to his unbridledness and frivolity. Such a person loves and is used to doing what he wants, and not as it should. And he wants different things constantly, depending on what attracts him at one time or another. I want such a person to take a walk, have fun and he throws everything on the altar of pleasure, both his own and that of others, in order to quench his whim. He can skip the whole salary for a week, and then get rid of his debts until the payday, he can abandon his obligations for the sake of momentary pleasure. This is such a frivolous approach to life that there can be no talk of any economic activity. And without housekeeping, it is impossible to ensure a high quality of life without resorting to deception and crime. Although it should be noted that it is infantile people who often embark on the path of crime, not understanding all its features. To some, such a “romantic life” is expensive. This is such a frivolous approach to life that there can be no talk of any economic activity. And without housekeeping, it is impossible to ensure a high quality of life without resorting to deception and crime. Although it should be noted that it is infantile people who often embark on the path of crime, not understanding all its features. To some, such a “romantic life” is expensive. This is such a frivolous approach to life that there can be no talk of any economic activity. And without housekeeping, it is impossible to ensure a high quality of life without resorting to deception and crime. Although it should be noted that it is infantile people who often embark on the path of crime, not understanding all its features. To some, such a “romantic life” is expensive.
Hanging out, showing off, boasting is also a favorite pastime of infantile people. They want recognition, respect, admiration, but they cannot achieve this with the help of noble deeds, with the help of some achievements, therefore they are content with simpler and more affordable ways. For example, they can do this with the help of expensive things or stupid things that draw attention to them, or by humiliating others. They consider all tomfoolery, childishness a manifestation of their individuality. They also really want everything to be no worse, and preferably better, than that of other people. They are more susceptible to the negative manifestation of herd instinct, they like to repeat after others, they have what they say do not have their own heads. If they see someone a new beautiful thing, they want the same, regardless of whether they need it or not. Therefore, infantile people are very susceptible to advertising, although pride will not allow the fact that it manipulates them. By this they only aggravate their dependence on the influence of others on them. Indeed, considering himself smart and right in everything, a person does not analyze his behavior for errors, therefore, he can make many of them constantly.
It is also very important to understand that infantile people are practically unable to take care of anyone properly, because of their frivolity and irresponsibility. They can get a little dog or kitty and then leave them to their own devices after playing enough with them. For them, an animal is not a living creature capable of experiencing pain and suffering, but just a toy that is interesting until it gets bored. Therefore, it is especially impossible to trust them in this matter. But the main trouble, the real trouble is that such people are also not serious about children. It is enough to say that if infantile people have children, then this either happens by chance, you know, they went over a bit, had fun, and then an unexpected pregnancy and often an unwanted abortion, you have to give birth. Or they do it because it is necessary. But who needs it, why it is necessary, how it is necessary and whether it is necessary in reality, they don’t think much about it. That’s all. My friend has a child, which means I need it, because I want to be like everyone else. There is still such a common explanation for the need to have children – so that it would be someone in old age to give a glass of water. Ponder this explanation, what does it mean? It turns out that infantiles who reason like this do not have children in order to enjoy life, realize themselves, have children, continuing their family, but to give them water, both literally and figuratively, in old age. Doesn’t that sound too selfish? And such an egoist, thinking exclusively about himself and his needs, can only be an infantile person who looks at life from the position of his childhood interests, when everything should be done only for him and for him. However, in most cases, infantile people are so irresponsible in raising their children that they don’t even give water to them in old age, they don’t even remember about them, about their selfish and irresponsible parents, because they will be very offended by them. From this point of view, such an explanation of the need to have children [so that they give a glass of water in old age, that is, take care of their parents] seems, in my opinion, very stupid. Because in order for your children to take care of you, you must first take care of them properly. Not a single normal person will forget about their parents if they did a lot of good things to him, educated him correctly, taught him the necessary things, prepared him for life, and, most importantly, truly loved him. And if he has the opportunity, he will certainly help them. Otherwise it can not be. Therefore, you need to have children, thinking first of all about their life and happiness, and not see in them at first a toy, then an outlet, and then a servant. Adults understand this, infantile, alas, no.
These are the manifestations of infantility, I can name you as the main ones, because of which, both the infantiles themselves and the people around them have problems. There are other points that might be better for you. Write me about them, if you consider them important, I will add them to the article. Of course, far from every infantile person all these negative traits are combined and clearly manifested. In addition, there are many good things in such people. But now we are focusing our attention exclusively on the negative manifestations of infantilism, in order to clearly and clearly understand how serious this problem can be for all of us. I’ll talk about ways to solve this problem below, but for now, let’s talk about its causes.
Etiology of infantilism
The etiology [cause of illness or pathological condition] of infantilism is primarily associated with the state of a person’s physical and mental health. This condition is affected by many factors even at the moment when the baby is in the womb. As I wrote above, if the fetus during pregnancy was susceptible to cooling, poisoning, infection, and during childbirth oxygen starvation, then this is likely to negatively affect its further development. The same thing happens if a child suffers from serious illness in the first years of life, if he has a metabolic disorder and other health problems.
Everything is clear here, any health problems negatively affect the development of the whole organism, especially at a young age, just when a person is actively developing. They are the cause of both physiological and mental infantilism. The psyche is particularly severely affected in those cases when some disease affects the brain. Various injuries can also lead to damage. However, the cause of infantilism should be sought not only in illnesses and injuries, with them everything is clear. The social causes of this ailment can affect a much larger number of people, including physically healthy ones. And they should be given special attention.
I also want to say that infantilism is not inherited, through genes. I am absolutely sure of this, since many times I observed a big difference between parents and their children, who lived separately from their parents and therefore did not adopt their thoughts and behavior. In the preparation of this material, I stumbled on the Internet on articles that said that infantility is inherited. This was explained by the fact that children adopt an irresponsible model of parental behavior. Friends, adopting a model of parental behavior is not heredity. Genetic information is transmitted using DNA and RNA, and taking an example from someone else is already a teaching. So there is no need to confuse one with the other. Otherwise, some infantile people will perceive their infantility as one of the innate features of their psyche, with which nothing can be done,
And I believe that no matter how a person is born and whatever he may be, even if not completely full due to various physical defects and past illnesses, he should not put up with his shortcomings, putting an end to himself and his life. He always needs to work on himself, for the sake of his right to a normal, full, happy life. Now let’s talk about the more common, social causes of infantilism.
Social causes of infantilism
If health problems have caused a person to lag behind in development, then there is nothing to be done about it, if in fact nothing can be done. In any case, we know that you can’t return your lost health. Our medicine does not have such opportunities yet. But as for the social causes of the rise of infantilism, it is possible and necessary to work with them and with the result of their impact on humans.
By social causes of infantilism, I understand first of all the environment in which a person is located, and which inevitably has an impact on him. The most important role in the life of each of us is played by our parents, or those who replace them. They are the first who are responsible for the atmosphere in which we will grow and what and how we will learn. If the parents themselves are infantile, then they can pass on their infantility to their children by showing them a bad example. So this ailment can be transmitted from generation to generation, not through genes, as some people think, but by copying the behavior of their infantile parents by children. True, in some cases, when parents lead too thoughtless lifestyles that cause their children to suffer, they serve as a negative example for them, showing them how to live. Nonetheless, the stupidity of parents often negatively affects the physiological and mental development of their children. Either they will not take proper care of their child’s health, they will set a harmful example with their irresponsible and stupid way of life, or they simply won’t take care of their children, allowing the outside environment, on the same street, to educate and educate them. And the children, they are “like a sponge”, absorb everything that they see and hear around them. Moreover, all evil clings to them better than good. So if their father or mother, or both parents will engage in some nonsense, then their children are likely to live the same way. Parents are an example to their children. This should be understood by every parent who cares who his child grows up. Either they will not take proper care of their child’s health, they will set a harmful example with their irresponsible and stupid way of life, or they simply won’t take care of their children, allowing the outside environment, on the same street, to educate and educate them. And the children, they are “like a sponge”, absorb everything that they see and hear around them. Moreover, all evil clings to them better than good. So if their father or mother, or both parents will engage in some nonsense, then their children are likely to live the same way. Parents are an example to their children. This should be understood by every parent who cares who his child grows up. Either they will not take proper care of their child’s health, they will set a harmful example with their irresponsible and stupid way of life, or they simply won’t take care of their children, allowing the outside environment, on the same street, to educate and educate them. And the children, they are “like a sponge”, absorb everything that they see and hear around them. Moreover, all evil clings to them better than good. So if their father or mother, or both parents will engage in some nonsense, then their children are likely to live the same way. Parents are an example to their children. This should be understood by every parent who cares who his child grows up. engage in their education and training. And the children, they are “like a sponge”, absorb everything that they see and hear around them. Moreover, all evil clings to them better than good. So if their father or mother, or both parents will engage in some nonsense, then their children are likely to live the same way. Parents are an example to their children. This should be understood by every parent who cares who his child grows up. engage in their education and training. And the children, they are “like a sponge”, absorb everything that they see and hear around them. Moreover, all evil clings to them better than good. So if their father or mother, or both parents will engage in some nonsense, then their children are likely to live the same way. Parents are an example to their children. This should be understood by every parent who cares who his child grows up.
But, if some parents are extremely irresponsible in relation to their children, then others, on the contrary, are too caring and restless, therefore they simply do not allow their child to face life’s difficulties necessary for development. Excessive care for your child, an attempt to protect him from all problems, suffering, pain, is not love for him, as some people who superficially understand this feeling believe, but unreasonable fear for him. Hyperopeca in most cases causes children more harm than good. I know that many parents disagree with this, they have their own arguments in support of such a policy of education. And I understand them. I worked with such people, helped them solve problems with their children, and I know that it is very difficult for them, parents, to give up excessive care and control over their child, especially if he is the only one. After all, when you know about all the dangers that await him in this harsh and unfriendly world, you are afraid to let the only child go free swimming, even if he is already old enough for this. However, the protection that parents provide their child in trying to shield him from everything dangerous is illusory. There is no guarantee that an over-ward child will not be a victim of any accident. Life is too unpredictable to be sure that everything in it is controlled. It’s hard, but you need to realize it. But the fact that a child protected from all life difficulties will remain a child is a guaranteed result. Will his life be safer, happier, calmer from this? Not! The very first difficulty that he will encounter can very seriously harm him. In this life you need to be able to fight, otherwise you will not know life itself. Adults are fighting, and children are hiding under their mother’s skirts. But sooner or later you have to crawl out from under it and face a reality for which you may be completely unprepared.
The pain and suffering that we by nature try to avoid, in certain quantities, we need. You can’t live without them, because they are part of our life. You can exist, but not live. They are needed not only for development, for growing up, but also for feeling the taste of life. Often I have had and still have to hear how many parents say such a hackneyed phrase: “I do not want my child to need something.” A familiar phrase? I have at least two questions for such people. First: what do you mean by the word “in something”, what exactly should he not need? Is this something his immediate needs, or is it also his boundless, unconscious desires and whims? Does your child, for example, need a new cell phone, or a new toy, who liked him in the store? We need to sort this out somehow. Different people understand their needs differently. And the second question: where did you get the idea that your child should not need something? Why do you think this is right? If he does not need anything, then what incentive will he have to strive for something? Need, this is not so bad as it seems to those who themselves needed something in childhood. The same hunger can set many brains. Each person needs to undergo stress that is feasible to his mental and physical capabilities, which forces him to change qualitatively in order to become more adapted to life. If this stress does not exist, then our body will not find in itself the resources necessary to fight it, and therefore it will not be strengthened and developed. Stress is a vaccine against stagnation and degradation. And deprivation, need, pain, suffering is stress. I think that the phrase “I do not want my child to need something” is a meme intentionally introduced into society, the purpose of which is to encourage parents to express their love for the child through certain template actions. The same marketers could introduce this idea into people’s heads in order to encourage them to spend more money on their children and thereby pamper them.
In addition to parents who, for one reason or another, can interfere with the maturation of their child, a school, which, unlike the institute, is attended by almost all people, makes a significant contribution to the development of infantilism. The school, as well as the institute and the media, teach a person to trust the system in which he lives, and therefore to shift responsibility on it for various areas of his life. Without a doubt, the school gives people a lot of useful knowledge. But, in addition to this knowledge, it also teaches a person to perceive life correctly. Correct for the system, but not always for the person himself. The point is that they inspire a person, a child, that someone will take care of him, that he needs to rely on other people, on specialists, on various kinds of officials, leaders, and not on himself. So the system binds a person to itself, to get in his face a devoted servant. This is reasonable on her part. True, it should be noted that in different countries the educational system is built in different ways, somewhere more prepare independent, independent, free-thinking people, and somewhere more devoted and obedient performers. You can understand exactly how you were taught, by the one to whom and what responsibility for your life you are shifting. If you think that teachers of us and our children will teach everything, doctors will cure everything, employers will help them to earn a living, and the state will take care of our old age and so on, so you are among those people whom the system has tied to itself. And all that is required of you is to learn one thing that the system needs and do it well, without thinking about anything else. This is normal for any developed system, such a division of labor, one can even say the division of responsibility, it meets its interests. But this is not profitable for the person himself, who must be able to do a lot, and not just what is his profession. Otherwise, why should he grow, for what load, for what difficulties?
An adult is an independent person who is able to solve many problems and problems himself, not necessarily with his own hands, but above all with his own head. He must rely primarily on himself, must be able to be autonomous, and not rely on doctors, teachers, lawyers, employers, the state, and even God, if he believes in him. This hope deprives a person of the need for self-improvement, and therefore in growing up.
The delegation of most vital matters to other people removes the additional burden from a person, and together with it deprives him of the opportunity to develop comprehensively, bear responsibility not only for his work, but also for other areas of his life. It is possible to be a single-function screw in the system with a children’s level of development, this proves the state of most people in many countries of the world. And in order to develop to the level of an adult, mature person, for full maturity, a person needs to become more complex, subject to moderate stress, which contributes, as we have already found out, to the maturation of his psyche. The more different tasks a person solves, the more independent, and therefore he becomes an adult. This is development – it makes a person a complex, multifunctional and autonomous being. If a person does a lot, leaving him only a certain area of activity for the manifestation of his abilities, in which he must be a good specialist in order to meet the interests of the system, his development is limited to this activity. Anything else will be done for him by someone else. And someone else will think about many things for him. Well, a person can still know something about life, something about politics, about health, about relations between people. But all this knowledge is very superficial and often postulated. That is why the same advertising, no matter how we relate to it, is effective. A person accustomed to trusting authorities believes in what he hears a lot, sees often and makes a great impression on him. An adult, thinks, or at least tries to think with his head, therefore, it is much more difficult for him to impose something. He is therefore an adult, because he is more independent, including in the evaluation of something.
To better understand the above, let’s think about what development is. Development is a transition from one state to another, more perfect; it is a transition from simple to complex, from lower to higher. But for this transition, an impetus is needed, or rather, there must be some need for it. This need is determined by the conditions in which a person lives. And man was created in order to solve certain problems at certain periods of his life, so these conditions must be different for him. If he solves different tasks, in different conditions, he becomes more complicated, becomes more perfect, his brain develops, he acquires the skills necessary for life and becomes a more mature person. If these tasks are not solved by him, or partially solved, the development lag becomes inevitable. A newly born child must learn one thing, by six months-a year he should learn another, by three years three and so on. Nature itself encourages man to solve various problems so that he develops. If you feed a person with a spoon all his life, keeping him in greenhouse conditions, then he will most likely remain a child. And it doesn’t matter who feeds him from this spoon – parents, spouse, state. The result will always be the same – it’s an adult child. spouse, state. The result will always be the same – it’s an adult child. spouse, state. The result will always be the same – it’s an adult child.
Infantilism as a way of life
Let’s go a little deeper into the ideology of infantilism in order to understand what it is based on and why people succumb to it so easily. The base of infantilism is lightness, simplicity, carelessness. This is all that gives us childhood. Infantile people want to live a simple and easy life, they want to make easy money, achieve easy success and do not want to deal with problems and difficulties. They want to get a lot from life, giving nothing in return. It’s easy to take, but difficult to give. There is an expression that you probably heard: “Take everything from life.” Here it is just for infantile people. It seems very easy to take everything from life. But maybe not all? Is it possible to say that infantiles really take everything from life? I believe not. They take from her what they can take, and they can only take what is available to them. Accessibility of pleasure makes it easy to get. As a result, infantile people enjoy primitive, easily accessible, often unsafe things for them. Here you have alcohol, and tobacco, and drugs, and promiscuous sex, and gambling, in general, it is a pleasure for the poor when people abuse it.
Thus, an infantile lifestyle is an easy lifestyle that does not require extra efforts to achieve any outstanding results, and therefore does not allow you to enjoy more elevated things. Simply put, infantiles get high on what makes it easy to get high. This is the ideology of infantilism, it allows you to live an easy life. Such a life has its own price, but this is a separate issue.
According to the reasoning of people, you can easily determine their commitment to such an ideology. Here is an example of such reasoning: “Personal life after the birth of a child ends!” Another familiar phrase, right? Ponder its meaning. A person who says so considers the child a burden, and not great joy and great happiness. Such a person does not understand, because he cannot understand that a child is also a personal life, only another, adult. When a child is born, personal life does not end, it takes a new form and a person gets the opportunity to enjoy the fact that he has become a parent. Personal life is enriched by this event, but does not end there. But when children have children, they simply do not understand this, because it is difficult to raise a child, and they are used to an easy life. Ease determines the quality of their life, not its beauty. But when giving themselves to the child, parents will receive great pleasure from life, which can be compared with little. But this is if they are adults. And if they themselves are children, then, of course, they lose – they lose their carefree, easy, childish life, in which everything can be done until you get bored. An infantile lifestyle is not a personal life – it is a children’s personal life. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. parents will receive great pleasure from life, which can be compared with little. But this is if they are adults. And if they themselves are children, then, of course, they lose – they lose their carefree, easy, childish life, in which everything can be done until you get bored. An infantile lifestyle is not a personal life – it is a children’s personal life. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. parents will receive great pleasure from life, which can be compared with little. But this is if they are adults. And if they themselves are children, then, of course, they lose – they lose their carefree, easy, childish life, in which everything can be done until you get bored. An infantile lifestyle is not a personal life – it is a children’s personal life. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. then, of course, they lose – they lose their carefree, easy, childish life, in which everything can be done until you get bored. An infantile lifestyle is not a personal life – it is a children’s personal life. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. then, of course, they lose – they lose their carefree, easy, childish life, in which everything can be done until you get bored. An infantile lifestyle is not a personal life – it is a children’s personal life. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things. The same can be said about work. An infantile person cannot enjoy it because it is hard to work. And an adult strives to realize himself through work, through his beloved business. He builds a career, business, is engaged in art or scientific activity to take place in this life. And this brings him great pleasure, much more than the one that receives infantil from primitive things.
You can live one day, trying to enjoy everything that is in this world and preferably without extra effort. But such a life will not be complete. Because childhood is one of the stages of life, but not all life. Infantile people are not afraid that their life will be wasted, because they do not even think about it. After all, when you play in the sandbox, it is simply impossible to think about the eternal, exalted, about the meaning of life, including your own, or at least about the elementary life that needs to be supported somehow. You need to grow up to such things.
And one more point that I would like to draw your attention to. On the net, I often came across the opinion that infantilism is more common in men than in women. I can not confirm this information. According to my observations, there is no preponderance towards one of the sexes here. For example, women who want to find a wealthy prince in a white Mercedes, who will fulfill all their wishes without presenting any counter requirements, are no less than men who dream of getting rich thanks to luck or living with their mother to gray hair.
Treatment of infantilism
To cure infantilism means to do everything so that a person begins to work on his own development. Not always he can do it himself, without outside help, because the children are children and that in some things they need help and support of adults and more experienced people. Even adults sometimes need help and support, and even more so for children. Therefore, infantile people must be helped, but help correctly. And this means that we need to teach their independence, we must push them to what they are afraid of, what they avoid – difficulties. It doesn’t matter what caused the infantility of one or another person, health problems and / or the peculiarity of his education, he needs to work on this problem. And here, first of all, good motivation for such work is needed. A person is motivated by two things – pain and pleasure. If interest in development, to study,
And do not think that stick, whip, kick in the ass is a radical motivation that should be avoided. No need to be humanists in what harms people. And all good in excess and the complete absence of suffering and pain harm everyone. Think about in which cases a person grows up faster? Certainly, when his life makes him grow, when he has to take care of himself, and even more so about someone else for whom he is forced to bear responsibility. Not all people, of course, are able to take even the compelled responsibility for someone else, but if this someone is dear to them, they will try to somehow take care of him, which means they will solve the tasks necessary for this. Severe living conditions, fierce competition, the need to achieve something, constant struggle – temper the character of a person, develop his thinking and make him more mature. Growing up in this case becomes not a desire, but a necessity. Without it, a person will not survive, will not occupy a worthy position in society, will not help people dear to him, will not succeed, will not realize himself.
So I repeat, there are two ways, either to somehow interest a person so that he shows interest in adulthood, or make him overcome difficulties, solve problems, and fight for his interests. To force does not mean to use force against him, this is not the best way to make a person out of a person – Man. To force means to create such conditions for him when he will be forced to move, exert himself in order to at least survive physically. The load on him must be adequate to his physical and mental capabilities. You can meet difficulties with him, so that he sees that you are the same person as he is, that it’s not only difficult for him in this life, that if you can fight, then he can. This, by the way, is one of the best ways to help people when you do something with them, but in no case for them. Infantil should not feel lonely, inferior, useless to anyone, so you should not put pressure on him, as some people do, trying to raise his irresponsible child or spouse. It is so easy to crush a person mentally and immerse him in depression, or to make a rebel out of him, striving to do everything contrary to others. It is necessary to enter a person’s position, understand him, show him that you understand him, merge with his condition, gain his trust and then show him what things he can do to become stronger, and therefore more mature. Sometimes, by example, you need to show a person how to deal with difficulties, how to show character, how to achieve success in various matters. Children study very well with examples. as some people do, trying to raise their irresponsible child or spouse. It is so easy to crush a person mentally and immerse him in depression, or to make a rebel out of him, striving to do everything contrary to those around him. You need to enter a person’s position, understand him, show him that you understand him, merge with his condition, gain his trust and then show him what things he can do to become stronger, and therefore more mature. Sometimes, by example, you need to show a person how to deal with difficulties, how to show character, how to achieve success in various matters. Children study very well with examples. as some people do, trying to raise their irresponsible child or spouse. It is so easy to crush a person mentally and immerse him in depression, or to make a rebel out of him, striving to do everything contrary to those around him. You need to enter a person’s position, understand him, show him that you understand him, merge with his condition, gain his trust and then show him what things he can do to become stronger, and therefore more mature. Sometimes, by example, you need to show a person how to deal with difficulties, how to show character, how to achieve success in various matters. Children study very well with examples. striving to do everything contrary to others. You need to enter a person’s position, understand him, show him that you understand him, merge with his condition, gain his trust and then show him what things he can do to become stronger, and therefore more mature. Sometimes, by example, you need to show a person how to deal with difficulties, how to show character, how to achieve success in various matters. Children study very well with examples. striving to do everything contrary to others. You need to enter a person’s position, understand him, show him that you understand him, merge with his condition, gain his trust and then show him what things he can do to become stronger, and therefore more mature. Sometimes, by example, you need to show a person how to deal with difficulties, how to show character, how to achieve success in various matters. Children study very well with examples.
It is very important not to overdo it, so as not to break a person. After all, everyone has different opportunities and they must be taken into account. Therefore, it will not be possible to immediately make up for all the lag in development that has evolved over the years. Each person should receive just such a load that he can withstand at a certain stage of his development. This applies to his physical, mental and mental development. If a man about thirty years old was sitting with his mother under her skirt, and then suddenly life difficulties fell on him that he could not even dream about in a nightmare, then they are unlikely to contribute to his growing up. Most likely they will break it and turn it into a passive, limp creature, which will not care what happens to it. Not for nothing that people develop in stages, mastering such things that correspond to their age-related capabilities.
Infantilism, I believe, needs to be treated if a person recognizes this problem. It’s just that if we don’t do this, with ourselves or with someone else who suffers from this ailment, then life itself can only make it a tougher method. It is not known what trials may fall on a person’s head in the future. And if he will not be ready for them because of his infantility, then for him everything can end very sadly. However, this is not an absolute rule. Some people never grow up and live a relatively happy life. So everyone decides how right his life path is. Therefore, if your opinion on the problem of infantilism does not coincide with mine, then this does not mean that some of them are incorrect. You just need to decide which one to listen to.
