We can define ” toxic people ” those people who maintain a constant negative attitude.The person becomes “toxic ” when he succeeds, through his attitude,and to influence the other negatively. For example Apparently toxic person seems to be the most trusted friend in the world, it always seems willing to help, but it actually collects information that will then be used against you, placing it, in the eyes of others, in a position as unpleasant as possible.
They tend to perfection and control by using every means, even using the emotional leverage, without malice, in trying often to spare you at all costs.The power exercised by “toxic” people lies in their ability to manipulate others, to succeed in taking on the role of a victim , creating a feeling of dependence on the other that not only remains influenced but looks for their own means of save your own “carnivore”
Everyone likes authentic people, who acts with the heart, who takes responsibility for their decisions and actions.We like grateful people, who do not look for rewards, and encourage us to follow our dreams.Each of us, individually, can change himself but, we can not change are the others. All this is to keep in mind when we are dealing with toxic people. In the presence of these people, we have two possibilities: avoiding or addressing them.
Many people prefer to run away from toxic people, when they can not help them. The best thing is to face them intelligently. After all, toxic people always find ways to spread their negativity , infecting others, creating unhealthy environments, ruining moments.
The toxic people denied the logic of personal relationships. Many of them, though in most cases unconsciously, are happy to have a negative impact on others. They feel satisfaction in hurting others in the depths, causing chaos. Toxic people create unnecessary illness, as well as conflicts and stress.
The toxic people adhere as concrete blocks to your ankles, then push you to swim in poisoned waters.”
-John Mark Green
In The Presence of Toxic People, You Must Have Idea About emotional intelligence
For a long time studies have shown that stress can have an irreversible and negative impact on the brain. To behave intelligently of toxic behaviors is to making the ability to manage your emotions and to maintain calm under pressure. It is one of the greatest qualities of people who manage to handle stress, in fact, is their ability to maintain the effects of toxic people.
Ignore the toxic people who want to attract your attention
The toxic people do not carry a label that allows us to identify them. Yet, we know who is the source of conflict around us . We know the damage they can cause, and we also know how they like to attack us. You know who seeks you, and you know it will easily find you right there where you know you’re lost.
If, for whatever reason, you can not avoid toxic people, Ignore them. You know they are looking for your attention, they are causing you. Do not let yourself be caught, do not take it. Do not be tempted by their breaks, their comments, and their actions. Be benevolent, be patient. Give them as little attention as possible.Bite your tongue if you need it, so that their poison does not strike you. Be assertive if the time has come to score a limit.
Do not Focus toxic behavior:
The main feature of toxic things is their ability to focus. The same applies to toxic persons: their behavior is contagious. If you answer them with a toxic behavior, you will have lost the battle . Even if the toxic person insists on pressing the switch of your guilt, it’s not all lost. Keeping your serenity before their worst poison, relieving sins, is possible.
However, it is certainly not easy to ignore the search for a toxic person’s attention. A common strategy for toxic people is to ridicule their target publicly when they can not get a direct confrontation. For this reason, keeping control of your emotions is crucial to dealing with these situations.
On the other hand, maintaining an emotional distance requires conscience . We can not always prevent others from touching our sensitive points. When that happens, we must overcome our fears and our complexes. In a sense, it is better to ignore what happened to be able to control our emotions more easily. There is, however, another option: defending its limits.
Mark and define your limits
You must know that the attack of a toxic person can not stifle your dignity, which can be attacked and ridiculed, but you will never lose it without you being willing to do so. There is no need to defend themselves from their attacks.
It does not offend anyone who loves, but who can. Put yourself on the defensive show that you can be attacked. By clarifying your limits, however, tell them that they can not harm you. In the presence of a toxic person there are no calculations or explanations. You just have to clarify things with your hands firmly, leaving your authority intact in regards to decisions you know about having full rights and, at the same time, responsibilities.
Know, however, that you have to set a limit in a conscious and proactive way. If you let things happen naturally, you will inevitably get involved in difficult conversations. If you set limits, however, you can control much of the chaos caused by a toxic person.
Practice practical compassion
As we have seen, in front of a toxic person we can adopt an offensive, defensive, or just ignore it. But do not always do this is necessary. At times you have to try to be friendly . Sometimes people are going through a difficult time, an emotional situation that they can not control effectively.
Unfortunately, toxic behavior is very often a way of approaching difficult personal situations. Of course it is not right to load others of their own pain, as well as to try relief for the misfortunes of others. But to look at, however, not always toxic behavior hides wickedness, rancor or anger towards others.
This does not mean that you have to pass anything or that you have to accept it . After all, each of us has some problems, some devils to deal with. Treat the situation with compassion , forgiving. Without following the toxins in their game, but by defining limits, without caring too much of their behavior, what is more is the reflection of their agitated and painful inner life.
How To Deal With Toxic People Intelligently
As we have seen, there are many toxic people who influence and control our time and space, with unreasonable and sometimes exaggerated demands. We must safeguard our integrity. Let’s try and see how.
- We must not make ourselves suffocate and engage us in their problems. Focus onour solutions. How to remove this threat without altering the level of stress. This is a more functional approach.
- Toxic people have the goal (often unconscious) to make you drown with them in their problems. The only and valid defense is to set limits beyond which no one can and should go. We learn to distinguish them from those who really need help.
- These people will never follow your advice. Do not worry, and then, let them go in moderation and without emphasis.
- Do not get involved, cut short. If they invite you to go to war and there are no tools to do it, do not be involved. If a discussion will never go to anything, avoid it.
- Everyone has a limit, do not overcome it and do not let anyone pull you on the jacket.
- Others do not act like us. If they are negative and we do not, we avoid following their arguments, because we have other perspectives. Let us stick to the facts and not to the ‘yes’.
- It’s hard not to get opinions and not to fall into the temptation of judgment. Yet this is precisely what we do not have to do : judge. Every human being has lived, different from ours. Any behavior, even toxic, has its why. We just have to defend ourselves, not judge.