Human beings are social creatures, I am not teaching you anything.
We need the company of others to thrive in life. Besides, the strength of our relationships has a huge impact on our mental health and happiness.
Being socially connected with others can alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression, increase self-worth, bring comfort and joy, prevent loneliness, and even add years to our lives.
On the other hand, the lack of strong social connections can pose a serious risk to our mental and emotional health.
The social bond in the age of social networks
In today’s world, many of us rely on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram to find and connect with each other.
While each platform has its advantages, it’s important to remember that social media can never replace human connection in the real world.
It requires real contact with other people to trigger hormones that alleviate stress and make you happier, healthier, and more positive.
Ironically, for a technology designed to bring people together, spending too much time interacting on social media can actually make you feel more alone and isolated.
It can also worsen mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.
If you’ve been spending too much time on social media and feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, or loneliness are plaguing your life, maybe it’s time to take a look at your online habits and find a healthier balance.
Read also: Relationships in a 2.0 world: story of an annoyed young woman
The positive aspects of social networks
While virtual interaction on social media does not have the same psychological benefits as face-to-face contact, it does offer some positives:
– Communicate and stay up to date with family and friends around the world;
– Find new friends and communities;
– Network with other people who share similar interests or ambitions;
– Find a vital social connection if you live in a remote area, if you have limited independence, social anxiety or if you are part of a marginalized group;
– Etc.
Social networks push us to compare ourselves to each other, to compete, but this is not necessarily negative.
Comparing ourselves to others is not only a natural human behavior, it can also act as a source of motivation and inspiration.
When I compare myself to other professionals, I think of ways in which I can continue to grow and learn.
When I compare myself to others who travel and have amazing adventures, I feel motivated to work hard now to travel later.
Comparing ourselves can help us see more clearly what steps we can personally take to continue to improve or achieve our goals in a way that does not undo all the efforts we have already taken.
Where it gets complicated …
Comparisons are a way of evaluating ourselves.
It’s how we can measure ourselves and our successes. We automatically relate information collected about others to ourselves.
It allows us to better understand who we are as a person and where we excel (or maybe not necessarily) in life.
But with the advent of social sharing came the construction of an alternative universe.
We suddenly have the opportunity to create characters that don’t always correspond to our real lives.
It sounds sneaky enough but it’s not really our fault because social media was not designed to be a realistic representation of who we are.
Social media could be called smoke screens: most of us pick out precisely what lands online.
It’s easy to forget that everyone you “meet” online is also going through drama and that smiling, witty or thoughtful messages are only part of their lives.
Become aware of the differences between the virtual and the real
Even though I am aware of this gap between my online self and my real self, I can forget that it is true of others too.
I must consciously remember that other people, who may appear perfect, also live human lives: imperfect therefore, and sometimes boring.
If you find yourself in the negative social comparison trap, it is really important to get out of it.
Read also: Open letter to the one who thinks that beauty depends only on the number on the scale
It’s easy to fall into this game of comparisons or just feel isolated, that’s why I’m sharing with you some tips for cultivating a more positive relationship with social media and, more importantly, a healthy one. with yourself.
1. Remember that what is shown online has been specifically chosen.
Some of us try to be as honest as possible on social media, but that doesn’t mean that everything we show is everything that’s going on in our life.
I can see an interest in showing off a family day out at the park (and unintentionally making it look perfect) and not the mess in the kitchen.
2. Be yourself
Yes, yes, it seems like a no-brainer, but spending time online can make us lose sight of reality little by little.
For example, one day someone told me I was sharing too much online.
So I shared less because I thought that was what was expected of me. I forgot myself, I wanted to enter into a framework established by this person.
It’s the same with Instagram making you follow everyone indiscriminately.
Don’t follow an account you’re not interested in, just because that account has followed you, it’s ridiculous and creates mental pollution that you should be doing without.
Make your time online a positive experience, connect with people as your ‘real’ you and clean up!
3. Recognize the differences between your real life and who you are online.
Whenever I compare what I am to what I have shown of myself online, I realize all the (accidental) differences that there have been in my own posts and in my real life.
For example, I had the opportunity to experience two amazing trips a few years ago that took me to sleep at the foot of the volcanoes in Iceland and ride the tops of green hills in Scotland.
The photos and memories I shared were mostly smiles and beautiful scenery.
What you haven’t seen? My tremendous anxiety of driving in another country, nor the tense moments between a close friend and I as we piled into a motorhome, the cold which was terrible.
Lack of honesty? Not at all ! It just didn’t match the memories I wanted to bring out the most.
In fact, it’s important to remember that other people don’t share their entire story with us either!
4. Don’t get caught up in the online world
We have probably all found ourselves looking at the time one day and seeing that we had just spent one scrolling through its news feed, without even reacting to it more than that.
It’s important to balance our online interaction with our day in real life.
Try not to spend hours and hours scrolling your screen just because you’re bored.
Get back to the real world and be productive!
Do something else with your time because it is precious. Stop using it while admiring other people’s lives because I’m sure they didn’t get there by caring about other people’s posts.
Allow yourself time slots to connect or, like children, impose on yourself maximum screen time during the day: many tools are now available to help you do this.
If it’s stronger than you
Take the necessary steps to get out of it. Literally. Remove or disable apps. Especially deactivate notifications.
If social media is bothering you or if some people online are putting you down, delete them, block them.
You won’t hurt their feelings, I promise.
Continuing to follow someone who serves no positive purpose in your life only hurts YOU, and you only.
Spend your energy on something else: whether it’s real relationships or hobbies that make you feel authentic, that allow you to be who you really are.
Read also: It’s time to take the time for yourself
This is where we gain value. This is where we gain self-esteem.
When we appreciate what we do and appreciate the way we feel as a person.
Look at what you HAVE versus what you think you are missing.
Comparisons can lead us to believe that we are lacking in certain areas of our life, but this is an illusion.
They only cause us to ignore or minimize the things we already have.
And when we see others thriving and succeeding, let’s learn to appreciate their successes.
Share your joy with them, rather than using their successes as a way to prove to yourself that you have failed!
