What really makes you pay attention to that boy and say “wow, that one I would take”? For some women, the answer is a perfect face or turned muscles.However, if you don’t care so much about these and other physical characteristics, but you can’t resist an intelligent man, you can be sapiosexual!
Calm down, this is not a disease. On the contrary! Being sapiosexual can guarantee you extremely interesting relationships , in which the pleasure happens not only in the moments of intimacy, but in the many engaging and unforgettable conversations. Are you curious to know more? Read on!
What is sapiosexuality?
Sapio is a prefix that, in the Portuguese language, is related to wisdom, intelligence. That is why our species, homo sapiens sapiens , differs from other animals in that the brain is much more developed than theirs.
Therefore, sapiosexuality is the characteristic of the person – male or female – who considers the partner’s intelligence as the main attraction factor, including sexual. In fact, although the name is relatively new, it is something we have known for a long time.
In fact, it is not today that we see that many women like intelligent men. For them, the intellect is more important than the physical. Valuing mental capacity instead of appearance can even guarantee the formation of interesting and rewarding relationships, since living with a person who has a good conversation , an open mind and surprising ideas is really delicious!
That is, this does not mean that the sapiosexual woman is repulsed by handsome men.
This preference only shows that physical attributes are not in the foreground. Therefore, she feels horny for her partner because he is smart, but if he is also handsome, this is a bonus, not a basic requirement.
Furthermore, there is still some debate about sapiosexuality. Some scholars claim that it is considered a preference. Others have a more radical position on this. They say that when this factor is really prevalent for the manifestation of sexual attraction and choice of partner, it is a sexual orientation, as well as heterrosexual, homosexual or bisexual .
Regardless of this controversy, the fact is that the sapiosexual is really interested in the intellect of the other. All other features are a gift, and no more.
Who is more sapiosexual – the man or the woman?
Feeling a strong attraction to intelligent people is not unique to women. However, after studies and clinical care, experts say they tend to be less interested in appearance than they are.
There is yet another issue that experts have noted. They realized that the more educated women are, the higher the percentage of sapiosexuals.
What about men?
In fact, there is a very controversial position regarding what they want, but the studies are not very favorable. What I’m going to tell you now is based on research, not my personal opinion.
Scientists at the University of Texas did a survey in which men needed to assess their desire for a list of 88 factors that could make a woman look sexier or more attractive. The results were surprising.
Contrary to what most people think, it was not the physical factors that had the greatest influence on sexual desire. Even when the appearance had some “negative points”, they were not as highlighted or considered by the participants.
However, the researchers found, from the responses of those men, that one of the factors that attracts men the most is psychological vulnerability – that is, the most immature or not so intelligent women are those who are successful among them, precisely because they are considered Easy “prey”.
I know that this result is controversial, but that is what the study found. In addition, we know that each person is different and there are many men who value and are attracted to intelligent women. However, in the case of boys, this is not exactly the rule.
Where does this sapiosexual attraction come from?
Again according to experts, sapiosexuality would be an adaptation to the times in which we live. Calm down and I’ll explain it right!
These experts say that back in the cave era, the greatest need was for strong men, capable of defending the female and her family from wild animals. He also needed to venture into hostile territory to hunt and return with food.
Therefore, the ideal man of the cave age was really strong. Their physical attributes were essential to ensure the protection and support of the family.
This situation is completely different today. What does a person really need to do well in life, keep his family safe and provide well-being to his loved ones? Knowledge, intelligence.
So, in a natural way, culture changes according to these changes. Society in general starts to value these characteristics more, which end up motivating sexual interest and attraction.
There is another current that explains sapiosexuality differently. After all, nowadays women have conquered a series of spaces and do not need men to support or protect them, unless they choose this role. She studies, works, earns her own goods or does it in partnership with someone, but she no longer depends on just receiving.
Sapiosexuality then comes with this other role – that of taking less into account the characteristics that generate dependency. Since the woman no longer needs this protection and support, she can focus her attention on items more important than the physical, but which bring extreme pleasure due to the possibility of a pleasant living and an enriching experience.
What does a sapiosexual woman really value?
But after all, what is this intelligence / knowledge / wisdom that the sapiosexual values and makes him feel so attracted to the other person?
Is it the diplomas collected on the wall, a good chat full of relevant information or the ability to solve problems?
In fact, there are many factors that make a man interesting and attractive to sapiosexual women. Here are some examples:
Ability to have a good chat
We don’t know today that a good chat wins the heart.
It is good to be in the company of a pleasant person, with whom the subject never ends and who involves us with his line of reasoning, with the stories he tells, with his cultural background and the intelligent way of making humor in a sophisticated way.
Ability to solve problems
A sapiosexual woman also tends to like men who can solve problems.
There are everyday tasks, easy and difficult, which they are not used to solving. This does not mean that they are incapable, but that their focus is on other activities.
When the woman meets a man who solves these issues, he is perceived as someone intelligent, a person who adds. Here the principle of complementarity applies – each uses their own skills, making their lives easier.
But you don’t need to know everything to be considered intelligent by a sapiosexual woman. Attraction also happens when she feels well cared for by the suitor or partner.
Qualities such as kindness and cordiality are associated with intelligence and culture.
To have a good cultural background, man does not necessarily need to have traveled to different countries. This characteristic has much more to do with the openness to live new experiences, interact with completely different people and learn from these varied perspectives.
Therefore, there are people who have traveled the whole world and do not have these characteristics. The mileage is high, but the cultural baggage is minimal. On the other hand, there are people who rarely leave their city and have an open mind, learn a lot and always have rich ideas to share.
Are all people sapiosexual?
Perhaps you are now thinking: with the exception of men (which we have already seen research), most people are sapiosexual.
After all, we generally like to relate to intelligent people and we are not looking for the least intellectually gifted.
It is not so.
There is already a psychometric assessment of sapiosexuality, that is, a scientific test that shows the degree to which our attraction is driven by the intelligence of the partner.
In fact, there is even a measure of sapiosexuality: the SapioQ score, which could be translated as a kind of “sapiosexuality score”.
And that test was applied in Australia. Participants received a series of sentences and needed to mark whether they agreed or disagreed, on a scale of 1 to 5. Some example sentences were:
- Hearing someone speak in an extremely intelligent way turns me on sexually;
- A person’s physical appearance has little influence on how sexually attractive I find them;
- I have already lost sexual interest in someone after realizing that the person was not smart enough for me.
The result was that most people, even when they value intelligence, hardly make it the predominant factor for the manifestation of sexual attraction. Only 8% of the participants scored higher than 4, that is, they can really be considered sapiosexuals.