The premature ejaculation is a problem that disrupts the sexual lives of many men.
Although it is more common among older people, it has also appeared among young people.
But there is a crucial factor to make this condition worse: the psychological.
He feels uncomfortable in front of his partner and, in the next fuck, he gets even more nervous.
But you can help him to control this problem, did you know?
In this post, we will understand:
- What is premature ejaculation;
- How the partner can help to reverse the problem.
What is premature ejaculation?
It is when, during sex, the man cannot hold the ejaculation until the time of penetration.
It can also be defined as ejaculation that occurs in less than 2 minutes or 10 impulsions after penetration.
It is very much associated with anxiety: the individual thinks that he will not be able to control, he becomes anxious, the ejaculation does not last and becomes a reason for nervousness in the next sex.
It’s like a cycle. Anxiety can reach a point where a man ends up developing erectile dysfunction.
Failing during intercourse is normal.
At the beginning of the relationship, for example, it is common for a man to ejaculate faster without necessarily suffering from the problem.
Above all, he is anxious, since it is a new relationship, and wants to show that he knows. There is a lot of psychological pressure right now.
So if your partner ejaculates prematurely at one time or another, it does not mean that he is suffering from the problem.
To be characterized as this dysfunction, the man must have had early ejaculations in at least 50% of the relationships in the last 3 months.
In some cases, the gap is even greater when the woman takes longer to reach orgasm .
Namely, the International Society of Sexual Medicine (ISSM) specifies 3 criteria to define it:
- The period between penetration and ejaculation is shorter than desired;
- There is a lack of ejaculation control;
- The individual feels anguish over the situation.
In addition, there are other constant factors in premature ejaculation:
- The individual ejaculates before penetration;
- The individual ejaculates after penetration.
Certainly, many clinically evaluated cases of premature ejaculation show a great concern of men in providing satisfaction to their partner.
Anyway, but as I told you, it only causes anxiety and aggravates the problem.
However, it must be understood that simultaneous orgasm is rare. In a sexual relationship, the important thing is that both are satisfied , but each in their own way and time.
How can premature ejaculation be classified?
First, there are two ways to classify the disorder:
- Lifetime: when the man faces the problem since the loss of his virginity. The ejaculation that always or almost always occurs before sex or within a minute after vaginal penetration . The individual is unable to delay ejaculation and this leads to a series of negative consequences, such as anguish and frustration.
- Acquired: the man develops premature ejaculation after a normal sex life. He notices a significant reduction in the period between penetration and ejaculation to about 3 minutes or less. Feelings of anguish and anxiety are also common.
What is the cause of the problem?
Premature ejaculation is a multifactorial dysfunction , that is, there are several reasons behind it.
In addition, no organic cause has been scientifically proven, but urinary tract infections and hormonal dysfunction may be related.
In addition, there are other linked factors:
- Prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) ;
- Some neurological diseases;
- History of sexual relations;
- Anxious behavior;
- Medication use, concern with sexual performance, communication deficit between partners and lack of sexual experience are also factors that trigger it.
Is premature ejaculation a problem exclusive to men?
The partner also suffers from this, as she ends up not feeling orgasm and, in some cases, she thinks it is her fault.
How is the treatment?
There are several ways to treat premature ejaculation. Meet some:
As stated, much of the problem comes from anxiety.
Therefore, the ideal is to treat it in the bud. Talking to a psychologist can help you understand what made a man so anxious not only about sex, but in other aspects of life.
Looking for a specialist is also important. Thus, man treats the physical and psychological aspects at the same time.
At the same time, therapy can provide great results for the couple.
However, both must be willing to participate in both double and individual sessions.
After all, before you are a couple, you are independent individuals. Both need to prepare to expose anguish and hurt and assess whether the relationship is worthwhile.
Certainly pelvic exercises, called Pompoarism , are more popular among women, but they can also be adopted by men!
nd better: when you’re good at technique, you can do it anywhere!
Although not well known among the male audience, Pompoarism is an ancient technique .
Created in India and perfected in Japan and Thailand, it was widely used by geishas. He arrived in the West through Kegel, a gynecologist who taught the technique to pregnant women who suffered from urinary incontinence.
A well-trained woman can use Pompoir to protect herself from rapists. Seriously, the technique is capable of breaking a penis! But this requires a lot of training, use of devices and expert guidance.
The man also needs professional help, but can do the techniques using only the strength of the body.
Furthermore, Pompoarism requires the contraction and release of the pubococcygeal muscle, which forms the floor of the pelvic cavity and supports the organs of the region. Just like any other muscle, it needs to be toned to maintain its health, strength and longevity.
In addition to this strengthening, the exercises elevate the testicles, reinforce the cremáster and the anal sphincter, increase the sensitivity of the genital region and the male self-esteem.
In fact, when it is very strong, it helps you maintain control of the genital organ.
That means better and better quality erections. It is like Viagra , but without side effects. In addition, it brings several other aids:
- Increases the sensitivity of the intimate region;
- Combats involuntary loss of urine;
- Improves control over stools;
- Improves the quality of orgasm;
- Increases ejaculation time;
- Fight premature ejaculation;
- Improves prostate health;
- Fights erectile dysfunction
How to help the partner to control it?
First, it is essential to seek help before you lose interest in the relationship.
Here’s how the two of you can work around the problem together:
Certainly the embarrassment usually happens due to the lack of intimacy between the partners.
Believe me: even people who are physically close may not be that connected.
A partner should be your best friend and vice versa.
Ask him what’s going on, if he wants to talk about it and say he can open up to you.
In this regard, it is also essential to convince him to seek help.
In fact, no one needs to live in eternal suffering, is it not? Especially in sex life.
No one is to blame
Premature ejaculation is not a problem with “culprits” – it just happens.
So don’t think that he has lost his desire for you or is with lovers.
Incidentally, it’s not his fault either; it is not something you can control. Finding the root of the dysfunction is different from pointing out who is responsible for it.
If he also begins to victimize himself, cut the conversation short. And if he dares to blame you, don’t accept it, right?
If no one is at fault, resist the temptation to belittle him because of the problem.
There are those who adopt a somewhat “bossy” or mocking stance, with jokes that only hurt the safety of those who suffer from the problem.
So, while the problem is not resolved, hold on (and give yourself pleasure, woman! Masturbation is there for that).
Try other techniques
First of all, sex is not limited to penetration, is it?
There are women who have been with the same partner for years, but have never experienced an orgasm. This is because both have not tried other forms of pleasure.
In addition, the man is so concerned with delaying orgasm that he does not think of other essential attitudes to excite the woman, such as kisses , caresses, fingers, tongue and other forms of sexual stimulation.
I’ll give you two tips for you to try with your husband:
- Start stop: it is a sexual game and start and stop masturbation before reaching orgasm to increase the excitement. The purpose of this exercise is to make him feel the feelings that precede orgasm and, with that, be able to control him better and prevent the ejaculation from arriving too soon. Especially because premature ejaculation is so unpleasant for the man that, many times, he doesn’t even notice that he has enjoyed or does not feel any pleasure with the act.
- Sex without penetration: you will do erotic activities that do not end in penetration. They can stay in oral sex, baths, massages, dirty talks and more. The goal is to get out of this idea that the sex revolves around the penis! Seriously, people: there is a world of possibilities beyond the conventional.
In addition to preventing pathologies and preventing pregnancy, condoms can also be an ally to delay premature ejaculation.
This is because, when a man does not use a condom, the sensitivity of the penis increases.
Anyway, it is more difficult to control when the stimulus is greater – which usually happens with men who have hypersensitivity in the glans.
Look, you can learn more about this and other subjects like erectile dysfunction on my men’s blog, Conversa Pra Homem !
There, you will understand everything about the male world (in their view).
Did you see how you can help your partner to overcome the problem of premature ejaculation?