Work commitments can often create distance and tension in a couple. Is that why so many entrepreneurs get divorced? There are marriages that manage to overcome moments of tension and stress, but very often problems can degenerate even the most solid relationships.
Common causes of divorce include financial difficulties, neglect, lack of communication, and different life goals, as we saw previously in the article ” Reasons for divorce: the 10 most common causes of divorce ” . Unfortunately, all these aspects are very frequent and concomitant in the life of an entrepreneur. The other professions also lead us to stay away from home and give us worries but they do not always lead us to live the anxiety due to the thought of putting our family at risk. And then there is jealousy. How often do we hear an entrepreneur say that his company is his true “passion”? How often do they say the same about their spouse? Not to mention collaborators who often aim for social climbing .
t must be said that problems generally arise if the company is born in a moment of crisis, but it is not so obvious. For example, one of our customers told us that his relationship was a serene relationship before launching his electronic products company, and that he thought that starting a company would only improve his marriage even more. And instead the exact opposite happened: Marco (invented name) admits in hindsight that he neglected his wife, taken by the enthusiasm for the new company and the many things to do to carry it on, but on the other hand he also claims that his wife did not trust him and his new business. It even happened that every time Marco bought an appliance for his company, his wife went to buy a jewel of the same economic value. “I once bought a digital soldering station, and in return I had to buy a Louis Vuitton for it,” he said. “He believed that my things were just toys.” Eventually the couple divorced, just two years after the company was born.
Why is this happening?
This situation highlights how different perspectives can destroy a relationship, particularly if the entrepreneur continues to claim to act in the interest of the family, but the spouse does not believe him. One way to evaluate an entrepreneur’s motivation is to understand how willing he is to sacrifice the time he spends on his family. Luigi (also this is a fancy name) is an entrepreneur in the food sector, and admits that he subjected his wife to “two years of horrible poverty and suffering” while trying to produce and sell a revolutionary oil that he never managed to take off. Finally, “she didn’t make it anymore,” she said. “And I understand it, we were with two children in swaddling clothes and without knowing how to pay the mortgage for the following month.” Luigi’s wife came to an ultimatum: the oil or her. “I chose the oil and my idea,” he said. “And that day our love died.” And their marriage.
Work can often change a person, and not always for the better. When you start a company, you often become authoritarian and impatient. Filippo had been married for 23 years and his wife dominated their relationship even before becoming an entrepreneur. Setting up a successful company made her feel so powerful and confident that she despised him. “The seeds of the end of our relationship were all there,” he said. “But they were like popcorn. The heat of business made them all burst. “
Oddly, the initial enthusiasm for the new company had strengthened the relationship, giving it more freshness and energy. But then, when Filippo asked his wife if she still wanted to have a husband, she replied ‘Not now. Maybe later “
What if it’s a problem of … envy?
There are both husbands and wives who suffer from their spouse’s business success. Laura, one of our assistants, chose to divorce her husband when he began to commit emotional and physical abuse because of her growing independence. “He told everyone that it was I who wore trousers at home, just because of my earnings.”
In short, entrepreneurs are like all other divorced. They promise to behave differently in the future and admit that they have given priority to the wrong things in life. Their next relationship, as well as their future company, will be able to take advantage of the lesson imparted by the previous one.
But their future spouses must be very careful, because often the same rule applies to entrepreneurs: work first. One of our clients, after leaving the court, said smiling and imagining his next relationship “Anyone who will have relations with me will have to know immediately that I already have a wife, and it’s my company! I still have big plans. “