Love

Love is a priceless gift. This is the only thing that we can give, and yet it remains with you.

Leo Tolstoy

Each of us has the greatest gift of life, which makes it especially valuable. This gift is laid in us in the form of a seed, which, with the right approach to it, grows in our heart, blossoms and blooms at a certain moment, turning our life into a fairy tale. This great gift is love. This is a very strong feeling, perhaps the most powerful of all available. Various feelings are associated with this feeling in different people, all kinds of experiences, both good and bad. Someone experienced great happiness when he loved and was loved, and someone suffered because of this feeling, someone filled him with strength and helped to stand up, and someone suffered severe pain, depriving him of any joy. Love can make a fairy tale out of our life, or it can turn it into hell. In this sense, it is multifaceted and therefore we will consider it from different angles,

It’s hard to write about love. For a long time I did not dare to do this, because I wanted to not only learn more about her, but also to feel all its facets in full. For it is difficult to talk about those things that I did not feel in my own skin. Here, as with hunger, it is difficult to understand the starving when the stomach itself is full. You must first survive something, hang on the cross for a while, and only then talk about joys and sufferings. Well and then, to describe such a strong feeling is always difficult. Indeed, for this you need to translate feelings into thoughts and express them with the help of correctly selected and properly grouped words. This is not an easy task. However, it is necessary to try to do this, not only to me in my articles, but to every person who wants to understand something. Any feeling is also thoughts, only those that we are not able to realize, therefore, they are expressed through the sensory sphere, affecting our state, but not showing how. And when we realize these thoughts, our feelings cease to control us, we begin to control them. And this is one of the conditions for a happy life. Indeed, only mind-controlled feelings can be reliable and stable enough for us to enjoy them all our lives.

What is love

Love is not easy to understand. Therefore, it is not easy to explain what it is. And not because it is difficult to do, because in itself it is a very complex and incomprehensible feeling, but because people can experience and understand it differently, depending on their current level of development. Today, a person understands and feels love in one way, and tomorrow he can understand and feel it differently, if he has not stopped in his development, is not stuck in that same youth. But even if a person does not develop himself, life will still develop him, sending him all kinds of difficulties, trials and even sufferings, which will serve as lessons for him, leading to a deeper understanding of life. And that means understanding more serious love. Love grows in a person with him. Let’s see how different people can be.

Selfish love

This is the most common form of love. When selfish people say that they love someone, it means that they want to get something for themselves, they want something from the person they love. It may be a matter of passion, or they may be attracted by some material values ​​that a person they love, in this case one can even say mercantile love, when one person just wants to use another, but does not talk about it directly, but uses love, as an explanation of your desire. Or we can talk about simple attention and about being at least with someone, just to be, it is still scary and painful to be alone. In any of these and many other cases, we are talking about the desire to get something for a loved one. It is this, this desire to receive, to take something that makes love selfish. Man doesn’t think about to give, or if he thinks, it’s only as a deal, when he gives one, and in return takes the other and it will be called love by him. For example, a woman can sell herself this way to a rich man, making a deal: the body in exchange for money. This is Love? Yes, I’ll tell you, this is love, but not of man to man, but of man to himself.

Egoism is an infantile feeling testifying to the immaturity of a person. Egoists cannot really love someone, because they love themselves, seeing in such love for themselves only the desire to take something from people, not thinking about what they need, these people. Egoists are focused on themselves, on their problems, desires, dreams, on their pain and suffering, on their pleasure. If you listen to them, then they always try to talk only about themselves. To others, they may be inattentive, indifferent, cold, they are not ready to give anything to anyone. But is it possible to talk about love when a person is not ready to give, but only wants to take? Think about it. And I will tell you my opinion below.

Selfish love is best avoided unless you yourself are selfish. Even if some egoist falls in love with you, believe me, this is not for long. The childish nature of such a person makes his behavior unstable and unreliable, today he loves you, and tomorrow he will fall in love with someone else who is more interesting and more profitable than you. The egoist will step over your feelings, without even thinking about them, he will not care about your pain and suffering, he will trample your heart and spit in your soul. And God forbid you yourself fall in love with an egoist. If you do, you cannot escape suffering. Even if you will be together with the egoist for a while, he will use your love for himself, he will use you until he leaves you. He does not care about your love, he thinks only of his love. This, by the way, can be considered a curse of the egoists, because they constantly persecute those who need and run after those who do not need at all. And this is not the happiest life, as you understand.

Egoists very interestingly confess people love, when they do this, they focus on themselves. For example, an egoist can say to a person whom he loves from his words: “I need you!” Sounds nice? Strong? But let’s think about which keyword in this phrase allows you to understand which person pronounces it, who loves someone or who loves himself. This is the word “me,” agree? A man talks about himself, about what he needs, what he wants, and this indicates his selfishness. He does not ask the one whom he allegedly loves, what he wants, what he needs and how he can give it to him, how he can make the one he loves happy. No, he thinks of himself. Other people for him are a source of pleasure, no more. Of course, after reading these lines, the egoist can then try to confuse the person whom he speaks of his love by asking him about him, not declaring his desire. But his interest in another will be fake, false, unnatural and any reasonable person will see this falsehood or feel it. Therefore, until the egoist grows up, until his mind becomes more mature, his love will be false. Selfish love is a parasitic love that sucks all juices out of a healthy body.

passionate love

Can passion be considered love? Probably, to some extent it is possible, in such an insignificant measure. But you must admit, somehow it does not draw [the passion] into the role of such a great and strong feeling for which people can be ready to give their lives, or which, on the contrary, gives this life and strength to deal with any difficulties. Passion is the most primitive form of love, also infantile, youthful, as well as selfish love. And more precisely, passionate love is a kind of selfish love. It is caused by sexual instinct when one individual is physically attracted to another individual. And if such an attraction can be considered love, then it lasts exactly as long as this attraction exists. As soon as the attraction ceases, love will leave with him.

Imagine a guy who saw a beautiful, or rather, a sexy girl and, in his words, fell in love with her head over heels. He can fall in love with her so much with his passionate love that he will desperately seek this girl, will suffer if she doesn’t reciprocate him, even thoughts of suicide can come to his mind if he cannot get her. This guy is absolutely sure that his feelings are real, that he feels love, strong, pure, bright, as it should be. But let’s say the girl reciprocates, gets closer to him as he wants, and then, after some time, tells him that she is pregnant and that now he needs to take some responsibility for her and their unborn child. You know cases when, after such news, these lovers just ran away, leaving a girl with her pregnancy at the most difficult time for her, when she needs help and support the most? I know such cases, there are many of them. First, one person needs another, no matter what he says, and most importantly, he himself believes in that, that he loves him. And at the first difficulties he throws him. So, tell me, is it love when people act like this, first they are burning with their desire to get someone, and then they throw him at the most inappropriate, most difficult time? Or is it passion, a pale shadow of love, the purpose of which is to satisfy one’s base needs at the expense of others? I believe that the second one, because such a selfish attraction that appeared as a result of hormone stimulation, does not reach the great feeling that we are discussing. Passionate love is animal love

Love is a disease

Love can be a disease when a person himself does not understand why he loves someone, even if this someone is mistreating him. You cannot enjoy such love, it will deliver more suffering than pleasure and joy, therefore it must be treated. People get sick with love for various reasons. For example, due to a lack of parental love, attention and warmth, a person can grow too amorous and fall in love with everyone who gives him all these missing feelings, who just behaves with him, will pay him a lot of attention. A shortage of necessities, that’s why people can get sick with love. Sometimes such an unloved person can fall in love with anyone who shows any interest in him. And this will make him dependent on such a painful love, which is based not on the value of human qualities, but on fear and emptiness, which force a morally weak person to fall in love with someone. Well, think for yourself what kind of love it is when you are afraid of something. At first you are afraid of not getting attention to yourself, then you are afraid of losing this attention and, in general, are afraid of loneliness. Obviously, this is unhealthy love.

Attachment, habit, is also to some extent a disease, although in some cases these are useful properties of the human psyche. You can become attached to a very bad person who, even if he wasn’t always like that, but at first seemed very good, just perfect to like, and only then showed his true insides, but if he eventually became like that, you need to have power to abandon him. After all, if one is attached to such a person, seeing this as love, then one can subject himself to great suffering, because he can begin to use such attachment and devotion to himself if he does not have a conscience. How many will resist the temptation to use other people’s feelings for themselves when a person is ready for a lot to be with you? As for the habit, you can also get used to the very bad, living with someone. For instance, a woman can get used to her alcoholic husband or even to beating, believing that she loves her man very much, so she is ready to forgive him. It’s not normal, right, to love someone who hurts you? That is why in such cases we are talking about illness, and not about love or love-illness. Which definitely needs to be treated.

Invented love

Sometimes people can come up with love to make their life more interesting, add new experiences to it, experience new sensations in order to taste the joy of their feelings and experience suffering from pain and resentment. I want to experience all this, the whole gamut of feelings. Usually people do this from boredom, which is often caused by an abundance of free time and idleness, and it, in turn, is a good or very good life, in which there is no worries or hassle. Imagine a man who has nothing to do and he does not know how to take his free time. He does not want or cannot work, or there is no need for this, because someone contains him. He is also reluctant to learn, because laziness is not interesting, why strain one’s brains when nothing forces you to do this. And what remains for him? Search for new emotions, some joys, entertainment, to make your life more interesting. For this, he can come up with love for himself. A person is selected who is considered as an object of love, but in fact, as a toy that you can fall in love with. Women especially love to do this, because they really need feelings, moreover, as beautiful as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will come up with love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love. they really need feelings, especially as beautiful as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will come up with love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love. they really need feelings, especially as beautiful as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will start to invent love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love.

Such love is just an opportunity to decorate life, make it more interesting. She is short-lived, incomplete and sometimes even crazy. Some people abandon families for the sake of fictitious love. They become obsessed with their love, connecting it not so much even with the one they decided to fall in love with, but with their dreams and desires. The expectations of a person falling in love in this way are often not justified, because his dreams are far from reality, they are inadequate in many moments, too high. A man is waiting for such love and such a life that is impossible. Therefore, relationships built on invented love are very shaky and short-lived. When an obsession leaves a man in love, everything connected with his fictional love loses its power. Fairy tales tend to break into reality. After all, if a loved one, the love of which was invented, it will cause some problems, difficulties, if he does not live up to the illusory expectations that were assigned to him, then love for him will quickly pass, because it was invented not to deal with difficulties, but for joy and entertainment, and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will be on the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, with good and with bad, and not only with good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless tale that a person painted for himself in his head, for the sake of pleasure, but which will not lead to true happiness. who were entrusted to him, then love for him will quickly pass, because it was invented not in order to deal with difficulties, but for joy and entertainment, and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will be on the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, with good and with bad, and not only with good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless tale that a person painted for himself in his head, for the sake of pleasure, but which will not lead to true happiness. who were entrusted to him, then love for him will quickly pass, because it was invented not in order to deal with difficulties, but for joy and entertainment, and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will be on the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, with good and with bad, and not only with good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless tale that a person painted for himself in his head, for the sake of pleasure, but which will not lead to true happiness. and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will be on the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, with good and with bad, and not only with good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless tale that a person painted for himself in his head, for the sake of pleasure, but which will not lead to true happiness. and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will be on the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, with good and with bad, and not only with good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless tale that a person painted for himself in his head, for the sake of pleasure, but which will not lead to true happiness.

True love

Well, it’s time to talk about the main thing, about true love. I’ll clarify right away that this is my understanding of true love, my vision of it. You can agree or disagree with this, you can supplement your opinion with my opinion, I just ask you to think about my words in order to try to understand that I, as a whole, are no longer young, have seen and experienced a lot, I understand.

So, about true love, we can say this: love is a feeling in which a person appreciates the one he loves no less than himself, and if love is strong, then much more than himself. We care about those we love, we are ready for the sake of such people for something that sometimes even for our own sake we are not ready. Love is the ability to give, to sacrifice. That is why love is life, that’s why it gives life and supports it, that’s why it makes us stronger so that we live and achieve success, that we develop and become better, so that in our life there will be more happiness and less suffering. In this, I think, its meaning. Love is needed so that there is life and not anyhow what, but happy when a person is good and wants to live. True love leads a person to harmony with the world and people, and especially with that person, whom he loves and who, despite all the flaws, seems ideal to him. Love allows people who love one another to see perfection in each other.

In addition to this, true love is mature love. A person must grow up to it. Growing up to her, he outgrows his egoism, his superficial perception of life, his primitive values ​​and the related frivolous desires. Mature love requires a person to be able to think about others, empathize with them, understand their feelings and respect them. Being selfish and immature, this cannot be done, because such people are focused only on themselves. In the meantime, you are focused on yourself, while in others you see only what is outside and do not know how to value the inner world of people, and while your values ​​are based only on your basic needs, you will not be able to see really valuable things, you will not be able to do something it’s important to sacrifice for the sake of another person, you cannot enjoy that you will do something good to someone else, and not just yourself. You will not be able to enjoy the happiness of others, you will not be able to enjoy other people’s laughter, you will not be satisfied that you will give the best piece to the one you love, that if you take off the last, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. See the joys of true mature love. Everyone can feel such love, but for it it is necessary to ripen. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. By itself, such love for a person will not come. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience the pleasure of high feelings. by removing the last from yourself, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. See the joys of true mature love. Everyone can feel such love, but for it it is necessary to ripen. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. By itself, such love for a person will not come. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience the pleasure of high feelings. by removing the last from yourself, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. See the joys of true mature love. Everyone can feel such love, but for it it is necessary to ripen. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. By itself, such love for a person will not come. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience the pleasure of high feelings.

It’s not easy to truly love an adult. Just imagine what it means to put someone above yourself. What a deep understanding of life should be in this case for a loving person, which is expressed in his feelings. When a person loves, truly, with mature love, he cares and protects the object of love, rather than trying to use it. He has a desire to make his beloved person stronger, more adapted to life, so that he develops, achieves success in various fields, enjoys life. And for this, sometimes pain and suffering are necessary, because not all people are so intelligent that they voluntarily do something useful for themselves and their lives, in order to develop and grow above themselves. For this, they may need a stimulus, which is suffering and pain. And one must have the strength to inflict such a useful, motivating pain on whom do you love. This is also a certain sacrifice for the love of a person, because it is so difficult to see the suffering of the one you love, the heart sheds blood from this, but if this suffering is necessary, it must be organized or allowed. These things can be demanded by true love, not like one that has a beautiful wrapper, but one that has valuable content.

Freedom

Another important condition for full love is freedom. Without freedom, love cannot be healthy and complete; without will, it is distorted, becomes inferior, and often dies. Freedom is not permissiveness, it is the ability to make decisions when a person accepts all responsibility for everything that he does. Not all people are ready for such a choice, but they need to be led to it. A person must manage his own life, but manage competently, wisely, and not on emotions. Here, as with children, for some time we make decisions for them, because they are not able to make a competent choice, given all its consequences. But we teach them, educate them so that when they grow up they can decide for themselves what to do in different situations. Only by loving a person can one be led to such a choice, to such freedom. And love is also easier and more enjoyable

Love game

Very often, according to my observations, people do not really love each other when you value a loved one higher than yourself and are ready to sacrifice a lot for his sake. More often they play love, performing, as I call it, various rituals. Well, there you know, flowers, serenades, beautiful gifts, dates with kisses and other romantic little things, which are considered to be an expression of love. All these culturally imposed traditions have nothing to do with true love. Investing in all this beauty, people are often not ready to sacrifice even small things for the sake of whom they love, when necessary. They begin to think of their loved ones when they have a choice, either for themselves and for themselves, or for the one you love. So beauty in a relationship can be deceiving.

Let’s say, in cases with children, fake love, while playful, frivolous, manifests itself in the fact that parents indulge their children, thereby comforting their Ego and often presenting their child with the best show, in order to receive a portion of praise or envy from their friends and acquaintances and thus feel superior to others. This is a primitive way to emphasize their value and significance, and children are only a means of achieving this goal. People play love for their children like that. True love for a child requires a willingness to do everything so that he becomes stronger, that he is adapted to life and can take care of himself. Pampering does not contribute to this. And sometimes, as I said above, it is necessary, through pain in the heart, to be reasonably cruel with your beloved child, leading him through feasible, but difficult and necessary tests for him.

To play love means to imitate it, and not to feel and take it seriously. People deceive each other, deceive themselves when they play such a game. Under it, you can disguise a lot, and sex drive, and commercialism, and the desire to stand out. Of course, people get something from such ostentatious love, but it doesn’t come close to what true, honest, open love can give, which is difficult to come to, but it is very valuable.

Mutual love

Reciprocity is another important element of love. Frankly, I did not immediately understand its significance in this great feeling. And only thanks to the vast experience of communicating with different people who loved and were loved, I saw how important for the emergence and development of love, when it is mutual. For if there is no reciprocity, then, on the one hand, love will be suffering, because without full feedback it is directed to the void and therefore it is cold and painful, and not pleasant and warm. And on the other hand, the lack of reciprocity makes senseless such love, makes it unnecessary for anyone, including someone who loves unrequitedly. Why love if you don’t need someone you love, if you don’t get anything in return? And in some cases, dishonest people can see in love for themselves the opportunity to use their loving person in their interests. And many take this opportunity. This is immoral, cynical, sometimes cruel, but evil people do this, they just exploit someone else’s love. Therefore, to love and not to receive reciprocity means not to love yourself at the same time. Such self-sacrifice is not necessary for a person; it will not make his life happy, but will turn it into endless suffering.

Reciprocity is difficult to achieve, due to the same egoism of people. There are two ways to do this. The first way: trying to earn the love of someone you love, so that you too fall in love. And the second: to reciprocate yourself to the one who loves you. People usually choose the first method, that is, they try to get love from the one they like, because they want it so much. This is a more selfish approach to love. People do not want to change themselves, their preferences, in order to love the one who loves them, to reciprocate and find their happiness. Instead, they want to change the one they love, so that he also loves them. That is, people seek to change the other, not themselves. But we don’t like to change, so rarely does anyone choose the second way to come to mutual love. People suffer, suffer when they don’t get reciprocity, loving someone, but they don’t change themselves, many do not even think about it. This is the same work, the hardest and who wants to do it. So even such a seemingly simple step to happiness, when you just need to pay attention to the one who loves you and fully appreciate his love, find in this person many different virtues and love him in response to become happy, many people make can not. And they cannot because they believe that everything that is most valuable in this life must be conquered, mined and achieved, and not just accepted. You always want something better to have, which seems to be such because of the inaccessibility and remoteness, and at the same time it can be of great value to ask a person for hands, but he will not appreciate it. So until he changes his installation, until he understands that certain values ​​may themselves come into a person’s life and it’s not at all necessary to make great efforts for their attainment, he will not be able to accept the gifts that life presents him, in this case in the form of love. Of course, not all people deserve reciprocity, you never know who can fall in love with you or who only thinks that he has fallen in love with you. Who should not be allowed into their lives either. But you need to at least think about it, assuming the idea that love itself can come to you and you only need to accept it, not seek it, not conquer it, but simply accept it. And then after all, some people do not consider it valuable at all that it comes to them, they want what is difficult or impossible to obtain, they believe in the correctness of such an attitude. And it would be better to burst into the door closed tightly, in the hope of someday opening it, which, if it happens, then very, very rarely. This is how we miss our happiness. Understand that valuable things can also lie underfoot, and it’s not necessary to hang at the very top, where it is difficult to get it.

Well, and then, if you argue extremely soberly and dryly, we can say that many people fall in love with those to whom they do not fully correspond. That is, they want to get a lot from the person they love, but they themselves have little to offer. It turns out a kind of unequal exchange, a person offers soap, but in response does not want to sew, but something more valuable. Well, who will agree to such a clearly disadvantageous deal. We can talk about everything, starting with personal qualities and ending with any material values, status, achievements. People are not equally valuable, admittedly. We always want the best, the best, or rather what we consider to be the best, but we don’t think much about how good we are, because our Ego always convinces us that we are very valuable and worthy. Only from the outside, everything can look different. It is difficult for a person to evaluate himself objectively, so he often tries to crack a nut that is too tough for him. This is expressed, among other things, in unrequited love, when a person loves someone whom, roughly speaking, is not worthy. It’s unpleasant to realize, it’s hard, it hurts, but you need to remember this when feelings wake up in you. These feelings can be false, because they do not allow a person to appreciate, but only the ability to get something more. After all, we often love not what we need, but what we don’t have, which is valuable because of its inaccessibility and limitedness. But not everyone saved princes and princesses, because not everyone needs them. Sometimes it is easier to relate to life, not to be a perfectionist, maximalist, but to enjoy simple earthly pleasures available, including people. You can love everyone, each person is valuable and interesting in his own way, so you do not need to lift the bar above the roof and look for someone extraordinarily special. To find happiness, many people need only say one single word “yes” to those who love them and learn to love someone else’s love, not just their own.

С другой стороны, безответная любовь может быть полезна для развития, потому что она мотивирует человека к самосовершенствованию, к улучшению себя. Человек старается развить свои достоинства и искоренить недостатки, чтобы понравиться тому, кого он любит, ради его ответной любви к себе. Ответная любовь приходит не всегда, чаще всего ее не удается получить, как не старайся. Люди слишком эгоистичны, чтобы ценить чужие чувства выше своих. Но зато сам любящий становится лучше, а чем мы лучше, тем более качественной любви мы достойны.

Смысл любви

As I wrote above, love gives and supports life. When we love, we are capable of doing things that we would never have resolved without this strong feeling in our hearts. We are ready for self-sacrifice, for the sake of love, and therefore for the sake of life. For example, a real mother and a real father who love their child will not for one second doubt the need to give their lives for him. And in many other cases, this is also possible. Only one who truly loves, and not himself, but others, can give his life for life. I think that for this there is love, for which it was invented.

Fight for love

Is it worth fighting for your love? From my youth, I thought yes. All my observations, reasoning, knowledge told me that for everything good in this life you have to fight, by itself, nothing will come to you. Sometimes a fight is needed to get, and sometimes to save. But as I got older, I began to understand that love does not always need to be fought for, sometimes it arises where it becomes necessary. It just needs to be allowed to happen. Life itself will put everything in its place. You just need to understand that this does not always happen and our fate is in our hands. Therefore, the struggle is also necessary, you can never completely abandon it. Because, as we now know, love is not always reasonable, people do not always understand what they need, what is valuable to them, they often don’t understand, what and why they feel for another person. Love, or what an individual considers love, can blind him and prevent him from understanding the situation and his feelings. He can make a mistake that will hurt him later.

Here, for example, how much stupid love happens in adolescents who can fall in love with some pop stars, actors, athletes, their teachers and so on, and then commit all sorts of stupid things because of such love. For example, they do not get to know someone for a long time, do not start a relationship, believing that someday they will fulfill their dream and will be with the person whom they allegedly love. There is nothing to say about suicidal thoughts, they are not just stupidity, but a disease. This in itself is a sick love, selfish, reckless and meaningless, it is an ordinary whim, people just want something to code, but they don’t really need it, but they don’t understand it. Someone for this understanding needs to experience a negative experience in order to become wiser. And someone needs help from outside. That’s why those who want to help them need to reason with them, help understand the causes of their feelings, explain their nature. This is the struggle. Also, to save the family, it is sometimes necessary to reason with your partner, who, he believes, has fallen in love with someone and wants to destroy everything for the sake of his dubious love, although in fact such an interest could arise for a number of reasons that are far from this feeling. You never know what difficulties may arise in the lives of people who will not prompt them to overcome these difficulties, but to flee from them. But the easy decision caused by a person’s weakness often turns out to be wrong. Therefore, fictional love will not last long, and what was destroyed because of it will be very difficult to restore, and in some cases impossible. That is why it is necessary to help a person understand himself, in order to preserve the love that already exists, albeit in a somewhat dying state. So there are always cases when you need to fight for your own and for someone else’s love, you can not rely on fate and the will of chance in everything. Life helps us, but it does not have to do everything for us.

Fighting is an integral part of life. It is impossible to do without it in any area of ​​life. Love is no exception. And let it be necessary to fight not always, but only when you understand the situation well, the reasons for your feelings or feelings that have arisen for another person whom you want to help or with whom you want to be together, the main thing to remember is that for your part to do everything in your power to help yourself and others, and there be what happens. It is difficult to give some universal advice when it is necessary to fight for love, and when it is better to seek, accept or let go of it, too many different situations in life may arise that require different decisions. I need only, I repeat, to admit the need for the struggle for love, as well as the need for humility with its loss or the inability to receive it.

If we talk about maintaining love, in my experience, this should always be done by a more experienced, mature and intelligent person who needs to take responsibility for what is happening and for the behavior of a less mature and judicious person. Never shift responsibility for what is happening to those who are not able to take it. So nothing will change. You must do everything yourself if you understand the situation better than the rest.

Love

And the last thing that we will discuss with you on this topic is love. This feeling is the seed of either false or true love. True love, full, mature, as you now know, needs to be nurtured. In one day, it does not occur. Or, as they sometimes say: at a glance. True love requires time and often considerable effort, thanks to which people learn to live with each other. But love can be felt right away, it is also often called love at first sight. In my opinion, this is not a completely correct definition of such a feeling, but it does not matter. Love arises due to the fact that much that one person sees in another, for one reason or another, he likes. You know how it happens, some people push away from themselves, it’s unpleasant to be with them, while others cause sympathy, it’s interesting, pleasant, fun, good with them. It is to such people that love arises. This is a first impression effect.

Just remember that first impressions of a person may be wrong. Firstly, you can never judge a person by his incomplete image, when you know him only from one side, for example, with a good one. Without knowing about the shortcomings and weaknesses of a person, it is impossible to properly evaluate him. And secondly, we must understand that when they first meet and in public, people always try to show their best, to like it, they hide their shortcomings, stick out and mimic their virtues, that is, put on the mask they need, throw dust in the eyes. Therefore, it is so easy to make a mistake in a person until you fully recognize him, and even more so, until you go through with them through various trials that allow you to know a person from all sides. Indeed, it is in difficult situations that people are known especially well, because everything that in ordinary calm situations they can skillfully hide, in difficult moments it creeps out. And many who, at first glance and at first communication seemed like a good, smart, kind, strong person, can later disappoint you with their weaknesses and weaknesses. Therefore, love does not always turn into full love.

This is my understanding of love now. And I share this understanding with you. Perhaps I am missing something because I feel that there are still some thoughts on this subject that I would need to identify and describe in order to better understand this great feeling. But while I cannot bring them to a conscious level, they are too complex and deeply hidden in my subconscious. So it’s not the time to realize them yet. In the future, when I understand love even better, I will write about it so that you know more about it. So far, we can confidently say that to love and be loved is a great joy, but also a great responsibility. We need to live in love for complete happiness, and for this we need to understand it correctly. And we will strive for this understanding.