Love me!”: Why you can’t win love

Neither parents nor teachers at school tell how to win love. And it is necessary to teach the correct construction of relations, if not at schools, then at home – for sure!

Then there would have been fewer broken hearts and broken families. How to behave in order to receive the favor of another person? How to build a love that does not bring disappointment and pain?

Copying the behavior of parents and not knowing how to get the love of another person, people resort to established patterns of behavior:

  • try to indulge the partner in everything;
  • include caring “mothers” and “daddies”;
  • turn into an insidious manipulator ;
  • accept the role of the victim;
  • engaged in self-promotion;
  • transform into miss innocence or mister tolerance.

All these models of behavior have one thing in common – they do not work!

How to win love is accepted

Let’s clarify

“You can win love only if you don’t argue with your partner.”

Not knowing how to get love, a person begins to please his partner in everything. Innocent concessions develop into complete submission, as a result of which a person is lost as a person. There is no pair – there is a leader and his clone. Soon, the partner begins to treat the companion (satellite) as an empty place, independently making any decisions.

Build love using the mommy / daddy model

From the first date, a person demonstrates that he is a vest in which you can cry. Manages to work, clean and wash, ready to throw money. He will understand and forgive everything.

  • “I will give you money, and you love me.”
  • “I will iron you shirt, and you love me.”

Such a woman will never yell at a man when he comes drunk. So what if there is no desire to feed the family, he has you, and you have him!

For male fathers, women sometimes even admit to treason – not from repentance, but from a desire to speak out. All the same, the satellite will not go anywhere.

Some partners get used to the roles of “son” and “daughter”, they even like it. But what is such “love” worth?

How to build love for real? Provide a person with freedom and forget about total control. You are not fully responsible for your choice. You wash and earn money not in order to get love, but because you love your partner.

Read on the topic “Because of You I Suffer”: on the ability to be responsible for one’s own feelings

How the Manipulator Gets Love

Such women “hook” men on a hook. They are not jealous, do not require roses on every date, do not ask how the interlocutor spent last night. And then the situation changes.

  • “I was offended, but you didn’t even come to me.”
  • “I want not an empty apology, but actions.”

Not knowing how to win the love of a man, the girl begins to imitate the behavior of a fatal woman. She can’t just be a woman, because she’s afraid that the man will get bored quickly.

The role of the victim as an attempt to win love

  • “It’s very hard for me and I miss your attention.”

Such individuals communicate mainly in the format of complaints: “Love me because I am weak / sick / poor.” The victim receives love, support, sympathy from the partner, and in return no one requires anything from her. A woman does not need to strive for anything. She is late for work due to family problems, and at home her husband forgives an unprepared lunch.

When meeting such people, they focus on their troubles and misfortunes. The attention of the chosen one is not based on sympathy, but on pity. If there are two “victims”, then the relationship is more like a competition, to whom it is harder.

  • “You insult me, I suffer.”
  • “And you don’t give me peace, I’m nervous all the time.”

Self-promotion as a way to fall in love with yourself

Not knowing healthy ways to win love, some begin a vivid and lengthy opus about their successes and victories. An excellent student at school, the pride of the class, then the only state employee on the stream, the chef’s favorite … Just a star of his own life.

True, instead of a lively dialogue, a monotonous monologue is obtained. And instead of enchanting love – a shameful failure. This format of behavior does not bring to love. An unobtrusive reference to one’s virtues works much more efficiently.

Ask the interlocutor about his work, family, childhood and hobbies. Show that you know how to listen. Demonstrate a subtle sense of humor, erudition and ability to maintain a conversation. At the same time, no one forbids by chance to remind about their merits.

Miss innocence always gets love?

The pattern is generated by the stereotype that a man does not need a strong and purposeful woman. Such companions listen to their men with their mouths open, clap their eyelashes, chirp about dreams and “pink cars.” They do not ask questions and take care of themselves, because they are firmly convinced that appearance is the only thing that can keep a man nearby.

Miss innocence is afraid to show character, so as not to anger her lion. She works at a low-paid job or sits at home, does not have big ambitions and problems. Problems are solved by her “conqueror”. However, such relationships are more like commodity-money than love.

How to build love? 5 valuable tips

1.   Understand themselves.

If you often tell your friends that you are “ stepping on the same rake, ” your life repeats according to an established scenario. Understand your complexes and fears, analyze past relationships and determine for yourself which partner you would like to see next. Accept your life and realize that – even disappointment in love is a natural process.

2.   Do not get hung up on a particular person.

Do not think about how to win the love of a particular person. A partner is a means, and the ultimate goal is a relationship.

3.   To radiate love.

A person receives what he gives – this is the law of a boomerang. Learn to sincerely and disinterestedly give love to others. By radiating love, you will get rid of shyness and complexes, you will become a cheerful and sociable person. Love those. With such people build love and strong relationships.

4.   Be open and love yourself.

Closure and excuses, fears and unwillingness to accept yourself – all this “closes” you from the opportunity to meet the candidate in your heart and win the love of a man. So you are not yet ready to let love into your life. A person who does not love himself is usually sloppy dressed, shy, reserved and notorious. Such people become invisible to society. And men, as you know, “love with their eyes.”

5.   Keep track of your appearance.

You can meet dozens of women who are not dyed, weigh 100 kg and insist that husbands don’t dwell on them. But how sincere are such statements? If your plans do not just get the love of a partner “for show”, but build a strong relationship, the business does not end with winning a man.

Do not make a known mistake when trying to win love with popular but not working methods.

Do not live by stereotypes . People are not interested in loving their shadow – they are attracted to independent, established personalities. The moment when a partner dissolves in a relationship and occupies his entire personal space is the beginning of the end. You can get love only by breaking patterns and stopping going against yourself and your nature

 

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