I’d rather be alone than surrounded by a bunch of useless people! Believe me, I’m tired and fed up with toxic relationships, enough is enough! Instead of looking like I’m in a big mess for no reason, I’m living a quality life alone. Whoever we greeted, whoever we trusted and took into our lives, we were all fooled, my dear. No, no! I think loneliness is the best… And what did our ancestors say… My salt-free food, my trouble-free head. There’s no need for that, believe me…
Do we sometimes think like this because the people around us sometimes tire us out unnecessarily? How could it not be! Dealing with people, managing relationships, and especially managing people without hurting them is not an easy task. Most of the time, we are the ones who get hurt and broken so that people don’t get hurt. We usually give of ourselves. We try so that no one’s heart gets broken. At the end of the day, all we have in our hands are pieces of our own hearts that have been shattered into pieces.
“We Will Make a Choice”
So, what should we do then? We both do not want to accept loneliness. We also suffer from the people around us tiring us out. Which one should we choose? Choice! Actually, isn’t life made up of choices? Good or bad. Happy or sad. Bitter or sweet. When we look at the point of choice again, there is no need to confine ourselves to a shallow area, to be forced to choose the lesser of two evils. Yes, we will choose. But these choices also have their own rules.
The choices we make and will make in life create our lives. Therefore, choices are important. First of all, is the choice we make a choice of our own free will? Did we make a choice or were we forced to make a choice? We need to be aware of the values, rewards and punishments that the choice we make will add to our lives and remove. Just like we say “la” and deny everyone and everything and then recognize our Lord as the infinitely powerful and sole authority.
“Being Alone Is a Choice”
Being alone is a choice. Communicating with people is also a choice. We know what the outcome will be in both choices. But which choice is more suitable for human nature? Is it more meaningful to be alone or to live together in terms of nature? Of course, we have compelling reasons to live together with other people, animals and even plants. Every created being needs each other. Let’s put it in terms of explanation. Let’s say that the most popular profession in the society we live in is teaching. Of course, everyone has a teacher they love. But what happens if everyone is a teacher? Society also needs cooks, workers, tailors, doctors, mechanics, engineers and cleaners. In short, we all need each other.
Since we all need each other, living together is actually not a choice but a necessity. The important thing is to be able to live together without harming ourselves and our environment. It is also important to prevent other people from harming us. We will both live together. We will also benefit each other. At least we will not harm each other. Is this easy? It is never easy. How will we achieve this then?
Making Life Easier, Not More Difficult
We may not have chosen our family. But we decide how we will share our lives with them. We may not have chosen our profession willingly. But we decide how we will practice our profession. Who knows! We may have chosen our spouse under pressure. But we decide what kind of life we will live with him/her. We cannot say how I can live a life that others impose on me. It may be a bold statement to turn our home, our workplace, and our surroundings into a paradise. However, we can turn it into a livable environment. Here are some of the skills we will acquire for this…
We should not make life difficult. Both for ourselves and for the people we live with. Believe me, it is easier to make it easier than to make it difficult. It is hard to pout, it is easy and beautiful to smile. It is hard to save, it is easy and beautiful to share. It is hard to be selfish, it is easy and beautiful to empathize. It is hard to break a heart, it is easy and beautiful to make friends. It is hard to be angry, it is easy and beautiful to greet. So let us choose what is easy and beautiful. May life be easier and more beautiful for us and our environment.
A Rose Garden Cannot Be Without Thorns
The people we live with did not come from a rose garden without thorns. Of course, they will have characteristics that we do not want. Some of their words and behaviors will bother us. At this point, we do not have the duty or authority to prune people’s thorns. So, what do we do to protect ourselves from thorns? We can find gloves to protect our hands, for example. Also, what will really protect us is that we should be able to keep the necessary distance between us and people. Let’s not forget that people can only hurt us as much as we allow them to. We cannot be on friendly terms with everyone we live with, reveal all our secrets to everyone, and then complain, “Why don’t they respect me?”
We Must Be Respectful!
We should position the people we live with in our lives where they should be. When we give too much value to a disrespectful person, they get spoiled and belittle us. It is an insult to deny the value they deserve to a respectable person. But most importantly, in order to be respected, you must show respect. Another golden rule of life is that we do not have to love everyone. But we must treat the people we live with respectfully.
“There is no servant without faults”
There is no perfect servant. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes the people we live with can act wrongly. Whether intentionally or through fault… When a mistake is made, the person who made the mistake must first realize the mistake. Did he cut down a small sapling? Or did he take the saw and destroy an entire forest? After realizing his mistake, ways to compensate must be sought. How can I correct this mistake? A sincere apology must be made as an expression of regret. A lesson must be learned and the same mistake must not be repeated. After these stages are achieved, the mistake of the wrong person must not be constantly reminded.
The ability to empathize is very valuable. The concepts we need are also needed by other people. Love, respect, tolerance, patience, tolerance, friendship, trust, honesty… We like it when they come to us like this. We should not withhold these values from the people we live with. We do not like the opposite concepts. Lying, grudge, hatred, hostility, violence, insecurity, impatience… These are unpleasant concepts for us as they are for other people. We should make an effort to improve ourselves regarding our shortcomings. Being both deficient and wrong and then insisting on “this is how I am” is not a humane attitude.
We will live together. We will live for each other. We will obey the rules of living together. We will make efforts to make life better, easier and more meaningful for both ourselves and our environment. There is no such thing as quality loneliness. The end of that loneliness will be diseases that we do not even want to think about. Life is beautiful, life is beautiful together
