What to do when lies get hold of your relationship?

Who never lied? If it were a matter of raising your hand, as in elementary school, and saying I, it is almost certain that none of us would escape. When it comes to marriage or engagement, however, the lies are irrelevant, because it is 100% trust and honesty and, since there is love, the lies should not exist, but sometimes the reality and other.

Women and men alike expect from a loving relationship a total surrender and in every way; if men do not express it in the same way as women, it does not mean that they do not feel pain when being deceived or discovering a lie. The best sample of love a person can give is to be honest and loyal; that they are two different things with regard to the concept, but no one would doubt that they are united in a kind of symbiosis, because one cannot exist without the other; while honesty speaks about the truth and being right in our actions, loyalty uses the language of faithfulness.

It is unfortunate that many relationships today have forgotten these two so important values ​​that make love grow every day. When any part of a couple lies and is surprised at their lack, the other part is hurt in their self-esteem and confidence in the other. Recovering from the pain takes time and needs patience, but above all, a lot of self-confidence.

Despite this, recovering from a disillusionment that lies and disloyalty cause is not an impossible task, and requires both people to resolve these disagreements. Some actions that the couple could take to recover the trust lost due to the lie, are:

Don’t live with resentment

It is the worst feeling and the one that most deteriorates a sentimental relationship, because what we do is focus on our pain and constantly remember the fault committed by our partner. Furthermore, living in a painful past is not healthy for anyone.

Don’t seek revenge

Usually, to “take the thorn out” of pain and betrayal, some people turn to revenge. In my own experience, I must say that it is not correct, nor does it belong to you; yes, it is very likely that when you take revenge for a betrayal or a lie, you will experience a kind of rematch, but that feeling of victory does not last long, and it is likely that afterwards you will feel bad or want even more.

Don’t judge your position

In other words, don’t pretend that the other person doesn’t act like you. It is simple to shield yourself from this and blame the other person for problems; when a relationship is going badly or well, usually the two contributed to making things happen that way.

Treat each other as you would like to be treated

It’s simple, don’t lie if you don’t want to be lied to; although the rule does not always work for both sides, you will be pleased to have done it right.

Make forgiveness your best tool

YES

Every day, I hear people say that forgiving is difficult, that they are able to forgive, but not to forget; I agree with the two observations, however, I do not support them, and that is the reason: forgiving is difficult, but NOT impossible, and it is not the same as forgetting. Forgetting ALL EVIL requires an accident or serious illness to “erase” all memories (including good ones), and we are not machines for this process to arise spontaneously. What, YES, we can do is remember without pain. This process of learning to forgive is relative to each human being; it requires patience, acceptance of facts and time.

Trust again and gain the lost confidence

Like everything in life, the best is done step by step. Just as we cannot expect love to reappear instantly, neither can we seek to trust or gain someone’s trust just for love. To regain our partner’s trust, we must be open and receptive to the other person’s signs of loyalty and honesty. If you want to regain the confidence of a disappointed person, you must demonstrate with facts that you are worthy of that trust, through acts, true details of love, diligence and patience.

Talk about your disadvantages and differences

Sincere communication is, perhaps, the only weapon that will help them to understand the other person, it will allow them to put themselves in the other’s place and will give them the guidelines to grow as a couple and individually, and not to make the same mistakes again. past.

I could say that it is difficult to recover the lost confidence in the loved one, even, I could tell them not to even try it and to break the relationship or get divorced. But, I am here, however, to tell you to fight and persevere, and CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE . If you are ever tempted to lie to your partner, stop and think twice about what you are going to do, the consequences of that act and all that dishonesty or disloyalty causes. Never forget that we own our actions, we can do whatever we want, but never choose the consequences of such decisions. Finally, do not forget that, sooner or later (by law of life or by divine intervention), lies always come to light.

 

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