There is nothing more pleasant than living in harmony with the person you love; however, it is somewhat complicated to want. In fact, it is normal for a couple who love each other to have disagreements, they arise because they are different people in preferences, thoughts and personalities, who have in common the love that unites them.
What is serious is the couple letting themselves be dominated by pride in the midst of a marital problem, because, generally, when they are angry and want to be right, they resort to “techniques” that only generate hurt and gradually separate them, causing that the love they feel will be weakened.
The brilliant website guru exposes some things that couples do when they are angry and that should be avoided at all costs.
- Involve third parties
They fight and feel the immense need to get rid of the accumulated emotions that dominate them. The option that comes to everyone’s mind is to resort to family, friends and even children, if they are already adults.
It is a serious mistake to involve third parties in a matter that concerns only two: you and your spouse. It turns out that when you involve the family (for example), you end up making a marital conflict a battle between two parties, and your family members will end up seeing your life partner as an enemy worthy of being taken out of your life, even long after you have solved the problem.
It is very likely that, during a marital problem, spirits will be heated and the situation between the two will change from words to insults and aggressions, with the sole purpose of showing that what they feel and think is correct, according to the apa portal ( American Psychological Association ) .
It is recommended that, if you notice that the weather is heating up and can become “heavy”, you should be silent and walk away while regaining your calm. It is not the same as giving way, it is avoiding hurting the loved one and preserving the health of the relationship.
- Accumulate problems
Something that happens frequently is that the couple accumulate annoyances and bring them up when they lose their patience. The best thing to do is to take care of one problem at a time and exactly the moment it arises. While it’s cool, you can talk and try to solve it calmly, without creating a problem out of the blue.
- Leaving home while arguing
Doing so is the same as telling your spouse that you don’t like being in the same place as him. You will be running away from a problem and increasing all the inconveniences between you, placing them in a “pressure cooker” that can explode at the worst times.
What should be done is to give each other space to calm down and then talk about what bothers them exactly as they are: two adults who love each other.
- Sleeping separately
Going to sleep in another bed or in an armchair is the same as recognizing that you are not yet ready to correct the differences between the two.
If, despite the inconvenience presented, both share the same bed, this will make it possible for the anger to gradually subside until it is completely gone. Also, in the beginning you can turn your back on each other, but at night, you can end up embracing and minimizing the past conflict, until it is no longer important.
- Fight in front of others
To do this is to have no respect for the other and for their private lives, or for the people around them. It is terrible to witness this type of situation. It is better to wait until they get home to talk calmly and in privacy.
- Publish your marital problems on social media
The Saúde 180 portal states that it is something that happens very often today. However, I invite you to ask yourself if others really need to know what is going on in your affective relationship and, with that, you receive “support” from your households.
Keep your relationship private and prevent those who don’t want to see you happy from rejoicing over their inconveniences.
- Pronounce the word divorce
Saying to your spouse, “I think the best thing for us is divorce” is the bottom line that you really don’t feel capable of dealing with the conflicts that have arisen.
The key point is not to even consider divorce as an option, especially when you are in love, despite the problems that ALWAYS will arise from the simple fact that you are different.
It is true that there are marital problems that justify a divorce. But a problem caused by the disorganization of the husband or the forgetfulness of the wife is really not a reason to consider this option.
You will always find a way to solve your relationship problems. The faster and the better they act to resolve them, the more beneficial it will be for both of you as a couple.