How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship?

You know that you are not being happy in your relationship, but you do not know if what you are going through is just another crisis of the couple or if it is already something more serious. You have even lost the desire to be near him and your admiration for him has waned. Love has given way to fear and the desire to keep more and more distant.

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You are suspicious of an abusive relationship, but you ask yourself: would this happen just to me?

The abusive relationship is nothing more than any relationship where one believes to be superior to the other and, by thinking in this way, acts in a way to control the underestimated, uttering words and actions that demean and demean his partner.

Unfortunately, this type of relationship may be happening to you, because even though it seems like a soap opera, this frightening and tragic situation may be happening right inside your home.

But then, how do I identify if I am really experiencing an abusive relationship?

To alert you, we list below the 10 most common signs that your relationship may be being abusive:

  1. Moral violence:

It is wrong to believe that the only form of violence is physical. Moral violence hurts as much as physical violence and is nothing more than the act of disparaging the other, attacking with words, underestimating the ability of others, making offenses and humiliating differently.

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  1. You controlled:

If your partner thinks he is in charge of you, if he is very possessive and jealous, and because of that, he makes decisions without consulting you, chooses your friendships, your clothes, what he is going to eat, buy and do, know that you are morally being abused in this unhealthy relationship.

  1. Your “no” is overlooked:

It is no use explaining yourself, presenting your reasons, whatever your “no” is, it is simply overlooked. Because of this you are forced to make decisions against your will, such as:

  • Accept him to go out with friends while you are at home;
  • Accept the fact that he has possible lovers;
  • Not having your opinion respected when faced with an important decision;
  • Having to stay together in the relationship that you no longer want, or even forcibly having sex.

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He just thinks he is the owner of reason and that you just don’t know anything.

  1. Makes you feel crazy:

Your partner turns and moves you belies in front of others and denies statements you make, wanting to drive you crazy to the point that even you are in doubt of your own convictions.

For his own benefit, he acts and speaks without measuring consequences and ends up leaving you confused, even believing in his thoughts, convincing himself that he is right and you are wrong.

  1. Psychological blackmail:

Psychological blackmail is another common sign of those who are experiencing an abusive relationship. In these cases, the partner tries to convince the woman that she has to conform to him, since without him, she will never get along in life, or that no other man will love her, that no one will want to relate to her or find her beautiful.

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They insist on making you believe in this destructive thinking and make threats and blackmail if you think about the possibility of ending the relationship.

  1. Social isolation:

Your partner does not encourage you to leave the house, maintain social contact or visit public places. He turns and moves and says that his friendships are worthless and that you waste time talking to other people, discouraging you from leaving the house, keeping you isolated from the world while he has all the freedom to come and go without giving any satisfaction.

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He makes you believe that he is the only person you can trust and receive correct advice.

  1. Give you the feeling of guilt:

When a man is like that, abusive, many women are looking in themselves for the reasons why they may be leading their partners to do so.

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It turns out that the problem is not with you, but with him! Don’t feel guilty about experiencing a situation like this. Take that burden of guilt off you. You are being a victim and you need defense. And your partner, in turn, also needs help in order to free you from this transgressive behavior.

  1. Convince you that the way they live is normal:

Usually people who live in an abusive relationship end up getting used to the situation, considering the way they live as normal. The aggressors end up instilling in the minds of their partners that every couple goes through these same problems, but that no one comments, because after all “in a fight between husband and wife, don’t pick up the spoon”.

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However, be aware that this is not true. All relationships do have their crises and disagreements, however, we are not referring to common discussions arising from differences of opinion, but rather from abusive behaviors that, day after day, are killing your psychological.

If he tells you that what he does to you is what every man would have to do to a woman, know that he is not right, this is not normal! After all, it is never right to live in suffering!

  1. He screams and extols his strength:

It may even be that he never really hit you, but if he yells at you when he is nervous, he hits the doors, tables and walls when he gets angry, or maybe he has already held your arm so hard that he even bruised , know that he is raping you and abusing you physically and morally.

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The mere fact that he threatens you or wants you to be afraid of him is already a form of abuse.

  1. You get beaten by him:

Perhaps this is the peak of the abusive relationship, what makes it evident that the relationship is no longer healthy. However, many women suffer in a relationship because they support all the other items previously mentioned, having as excuses the simple mistake that they were never assaulted by their partners.

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Unfortunately, many women do not see the abusive way in which they are living and even being beaten do not feel strong and safe to leave a relationship like this.

They are women who need psychological support, family help, defense of the guarantee of their rights and adequate social reception for her and her family, giving support to overcome the end of an unhealthy relationship.

I’m in an abusive relationship, what to do?

  • Before leaving for the end, have a frank conversation with him, expressing your dissatisfaction, proposing changes in attitudes, agreement and demanding respect;
  • After talking and you notice that there was no regret on his part, seek help from a family member or close friend to vent and ask for help in this phase that you are facing;
  • If you do not have a peace agreement and he does not accept the separation, report the attacker, do not be afraid, call 180 and report him. This number is a communication channel to assist women victims of all types of violence, including morality. If you prefer, go directly to the police station of the woman closest to your home.
  • As I said earlier, nothing about feeling guilty about him doing this to you. You are a victim and deserve protection. Do not insist on suffering, there are people who pass through our lives just to leave marks. Do not allow it and seek help while there is still time. Know that if there is no respect, complicity and love, then it is not worth it!

 

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