How to identify if I have emotional lack of control?

We live in a time of overvaluation of emotion. Everything goes through the feeling, including important decisions. The vast majority of people are no longer able to distinguish reason from emotion, be it child, adolescent, adult or even elderly. It is amazing how much a child’s behavior has extended to other stages of life and has blinded those who live that way. When I ask a person what went through their head when they experienced this or that situation, the answer comes immediately: I was angry! I felt abandoned! And so many other responses based on emotion and not reason.

Where is the problem? The problem is that emotion is totally vulnerable, it has no solid foundation. And a person who lives from his emotions, lives like in a minefield, blowing up a bomb here, another one there and managing to save himself from others. So, how do I identify if I have emotional distress?

Start by assessing your behavior . How have you responded to everyday situations? Normally, expected? Or surprising people around you, causing them to be astonished? The point is that, normally, those who experience this emotional lack of control do not realize that they do it. And when someone speaks to him, he ends up giving an aggressive response, for not recognizing this behavior.

Illustrative photo: Wesley Almeida /

How to control emotion?

Roughly speaking, we can say that a person with emotional lack of control is someone who has an emotional reaction superior to what they should be, whether through crying, physical or verbal aggression , laughter… I explain: in a conversation, a person says to you: “You you are just like your father ”, and the person who heard this has a wound with his father; then he responds with cries and rudeness. This impulsive and explosive reaction is directly linked to your affective memories, which, out of adjustment, are activated by a speech or situation.

Another example that can help would be: a mother who sees her children fighting, starts to yell at them and hit them aggressively. What causes this mother to have this behavior when it is not her standard behavior? Possibly, the scene activated something in her, in her temperament or personality, as it was a reaction of total emotional lack of control.


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