My husband is distant, what can it be?
Life together is not just about happy moments and family harmony. Even couples who know each other very well and have been together for years are subject to crises and difficulties. When a problem arises, behavior begins to change and the reasons for such changes are not always clear.
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Married men have numerous responsibilities for family, work and personal matters. These obligations are major daily challenges that require a lot of effort for everything to go well in all fields of life. Mainly because of the sense of family responsibility present in men, it is very common that they have difficulties in revealing problems and end up holding bars alone.
Some personal problem is not always the main reason for a man’s coldness and withdrawal from the relationship. This behavior can have several causes and knowing what is really causing this situation can take some time. Therefore, it is sometimes very difficult for women to understand what is happening and, in attempts to discover the problem, it is possible that many misunderstandings and unnecessary discussions may arise.
- He is very involved with something, which can be work, a personal project, a hobby or a person.
- He has some very strong concerns and cannot speak. Like debt accumulation, threats from someone, chances of losing your job, etc.
- Some health problem is causing the withdrawal. It may be accumulated stress and tiredness, the discovery of an illness or feeling unwell.
- The relationship is worn out or has become routine; he doesn’t feel like staying with his wife or doing any family activities. (Did the relationship fall into routine? Check out 4 tips to get over it)
What you can do to improve the relationship:
- Observe his behavior to try to understand the problem;
- Show yourself available for any type of conversation;
- Be attentive and understanding of the possibility that he is experiencing some difficulty;
- Look for some programs for twoto try to restore the couple’s harmony;
- Search for rapprochement through surprises, games and dialogue;
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To avoid misinterpreting the situation, it is best to just observe the attitudes for a period.
- What has really changed in his relationship and in his general behavior?
- Is he acting normally with friends and family?
These questions need to be reflected and answered so that it is possible to have some clue as to what is happening.
It is very likely that there is something very bad behind his behavior. However, this does not necessarily mean betrayal or that he is no longer attracted to his wife. If there is this suspicion and if you really like him, do not hesitate to try to fight to win him back through positive attitudes , attention , affection and kindness to restore passion and mutual understanding between the couple .
What you shouldn’t do:
- Drawing hasty conclusions and making accusations;
- Make charges and pressure him to change his behavior;
- Start fights and arguments without much reason;
- Touching his things without authorization;
- Despair and lose control without knowing what is really happening;
Acting on impulse, drawing conclusions without being sure and starting fights are the worst attitudes that a woman who wants to recover her marriage must do. However, it is exactly these attitudes that most women take, causing even more the withdrawal of the partner and increasing the crisis in the relationship.
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In fact, it is difficult to endure concerns about a relationship and the partner without saying anything. When realizing that there is a problem, it is common for the woman to want to ask her husband what is going on and to also get involved in this situation, as the partner’s difficulty also becomes a problem for the wife. However, most men like to work out what they can on their own, especially if it is a male responsibility.
So being understanding in difficult times and showing yourself available for any type of conversation is the best thing to do. Even if it is difficult to hold on to your feelings, try not to pressure him and observe his behavior until it is resolved. This type of situation does not usually last long, and when he is prepared and thinks it is time, he will reveal the difficulty himself.
How to be sure of the problem?
If you want to find out what the problem is even if he doesn’t tell you, you need to be aware of the changes in his routine to get an idea. However, don’t try to play the detective and go through his things, listening to conversations behind the door or checking his schedules.
The worst consequence of investigating the situation alone is that the chances of making a mistake and understanding something wrong are very high. If you are suspecting a betrayal , for example, and start investigating on your own, you will probably relate any fact you discover to a possible betrayal, as this is what your mind is now believing. (How to know if he is cheating on you in seven steps)
So it’s better to wait for him to say what’s wrong than to invade his partner’s privacy to find out something. Have patience to act wisely and honestly, as this is the only way to not regret your own attitudes later.