Being able to take a critical look at yourself is sometimes necessary. This ability allows us to improve and learn from our mistakes. But when the inner critic is too loud, it can threaten not only mental health, but also reduce productivity. Let’s see how to silence such a critic and gain some confidence. Learn to support yourself in self-development with us, and don’t let your inner voice demotivate you.
Who is the inner critic?
We all have an inner voice in our head that communicates with us all the time. It tells us what to do, helps us make decisions, form opinions or draw conclusions. Research shows that how we talk to ourselves has a powerful effect on our mental and physical health.
Maybe you’ve ever said a sentence in your head like: “I didn’t exercise today and I still ate a bar of chocolate in the afternoon.” It doesn’t mean anything by itself. But it depends on how your inner voice answers you. One option goes something like this : “It’s okay, one missed day won’t ruin my form.” But she often reacts much more aggressively, for example: “That’s terrible, I broke my regime, I ate chocolate. I can’t stand anything, I have no self-discipline, I’m useless”.
Such a voice can cause us to believe these thoughts, even though they are extremely colored and false. This is due to the fact that our feelings and thinking are two separate things that can influence each other positively, but also very negatively.
Why are we critical of ourselves?
Being critical of ourselves is completely natural. Why? After all, our ancient ancestors lived in a world full of danger and had a better chance of survival if they were prepared for the worst. Therefore, we have developed an instinct that favors negative thinking. In today’s world, there are not so many traps waiting for us anymore, but the instinct still persists in us.
How to silence the inner critic?
So let’s finally look at how to silence your inner critic and learn to evaluate your actions constructively.
Don’t compare yourself to others
This popular vice is completely understandable in the age of social networks. When browsing Instagram, we see other people’s “perfect” lives, and we easily fall for the idea that everyone around us is better than us.
However, there are two things to be aware of. First, that people put only the best and often embellished image of themselves on social media. Second, you can’t even compare yourself to others. Everyone is completely different, has different needs, interests and possibilities. Do what you enjoy and fulfill, not what you think looks good.
Looking up to interesting personalities and trying to inspire their actions is undoubtedly a good thing. However, if you do not succeed in something right away or if you feel that you are not good enough at something, do not compare yourself to anyone – it will not help you. Don’t try to imitate anyone, but try to improve yourself and simply do what makes you you.
Listen to your own criticism
This point may sound a bit counterproductive, but trust me it makes perfect sense. It’s hard to fight your inner critic if you don’t know what it’s actually telling you. Listen to it and try to write some thoughts that affect you on paper.
Do you feel like you’re not good at something or that you’re not trying hard enough? Think about every such question that arises in you. Write down reasons why this is probably not entirely true. Don’t try to find useless excuses, but make a list of things that you did well or that you are proud of.
At the same time, try to become your own psychologist for a while and try to understand your inner critic. You may find that he is bothered by repeating some activity that does not really fulfill you in any way – it can be, for example, endless scrolling through social networks, watching series or anything else. If you find one, try to eliminate it, or at least reduce it as much as possible.
Tip: If you can’t find what specifically bothers your inner critic, try meditation. Thanks to this, you will be able to understand yourself better and you will be more aware of both your negative and positive thoughts. Meditation also has a number of other benefits . In the Calmio application, you can try the Self-confidence course.
It’s important to remember that you can’t stop negative thoughts – they’ll just be there in your head. Think of them as cars driving under you while you’re standing on a bridge. The cars are there, they have a certain color, size, crew, but you don’t have to judge them in any way. Try to train your mind like this and let your thoughts pass like cars pass under a bridge and disappear into the distance.
Support your mental health with movement
The fact that movement generally supports mental health is supported by a number of studies . During physical activity, we usually focus primarily on a specific activity and get to other thoughts, so we can look at things more clearly afterwards. Regular or occasional exercise also contributes to making us feel better about ourselves.
In the beginning, you can try going for a run for a while, riding a bike, exercising for a few minutes according to a video, or perhaps agreeing with friends and playing a sport together. All these activities flush out endorphins, i.e. happiness hormones, in the brain.
Talk to yourself as you talk to others
The next time you start having negative thoughts about a situation, imagine that someone close to you would ask you about the situation. How will you answer him? You would probably be kind, compassionate and try to support him. Try talking to yourself like this too. Only by being kinder to ourselves can we better accept ourselves as we are. And thanks to this, we learn to really like ourselves.
Be productive, but rest
Most people need to have goals in life. Without them, it is difficult to function and be happy with yourself. Therefore, try to identify yours and get closer to them – whether you want to move forward in your personal life, succeed at work or perhaps travel across the country.
At the same time, you need to realize that the journey can also be a goal and that it is not important to reach your set goals as quickly as possible, but to learn something in the process, gain experience and enjoy it.
Related to this is the fact that rest is important, natural and not something you should punish yourself for. If you are constantly on the go and don’t take a moment to rest because you feel bad about yourself, you risk rapid burnout and a whole host of other stress-related health problems.
Final advice : Try to listen to your inner critic, find out what is bothering him and try to fix it. But always think about yourself, know your limits and don’t forget that rest is definitely not something you should criticize yourself for.
