I bet that title made you super curious to know what the guys don’t tell us about waiting!
Everyone knows and everyone says that waiting is difficult, that it is a process, that we have to be patient, because in the end, everything works out! And when we hope in God everything goes well! This is all true, it’s beautiful and poetic, romantic!
What nobody tells us is that we don’t know how to wait. Nobody taught us that, nobody showed how to do it. What nobody tells us is that waiting will not always end on the day, in the way and in the way we would like! What nobody tells is that waiting, even in God, does not take the anxiety out of watching life go by and things not being resolved! Nobody tells us that sometimes we need to wait not because God wants to, but because circumstances demand it. Nobody tells us that waiting reveals our real inner motivations .
Illustrative photo: Andréia Britta / cancaonova.com
Ready! I made a stir inside, right? I installed a problem! Do you think that I took the beauty of waiting from you? I do not think so! I brought you reality, to tell you that everything I said is also true, it exists, it is part of it. However, not wanting to live it all, to rebel or shout to the four corners that waiting fills your patience is not going to change your condition, buddy. WAIT!
The two things I said up there, about what they tell you and what they don’t tell you, form a set of opposites that make it happen. All the problems of what you are not told, all the “de-romanticization” of waiting makes you make sense of everything that happens to you. Think with me: if waiting was so good, what sacrifice would you have? What sense would it make? What effort would you have? We only have it when we wake up; the rest of the day is sacrifice and strength to stay awake. Deconstructing the round and cute image of waiting does not devalue it, on the contrary, it returns to it the beauty that is due to it. Waiting generates temper, strengthens choices; and if we wait, it’s because we really want what we’re waiting for!
Does making sense solve the pain of waiting?
Viktor Frankl says: “The sense is not shaped by the mind, but the mind by the sense. Instead of creating meaning, the mind has to submit to it, once it is found ”. In other words, I do not give meaning to something that I live, because the meaning is not shaped. I find meaning in the midst of it all! The same Viktor claims that adversity and suffering are inevitable throughout life, and it didn’t even have to be him to say that, right? My grandmother spent her life telling me about it, however, we have such a great need for pleasure, that we forget that suffering is part of it, that pain is there and it is she who forges our character in adversity.
It is normal, in the middle of this waiting that never seems to end, feelings of fear, inconstancy and hopelessness arise. Hopelessness – Frakl says – is the same as purposeless suffering. Along this path, if we do not seek, in depth, to find the meaning of waiting, why it hurts, we end up developing a deep hopelessness in what will come, because, for us, that is being in vain, it is as if there was no goal.
What we are not told about this is that the pain will not go away overnight. It is not by finding meaning in the midst of all that waiting will stop claiming its pain, but we will be able to endure it as, finding the meaning, we let it be our motivation to persevere.
God desires us all
São José Maria Escrivá says: “Make me holy, my God, even if I am beaten! I don’t want to be the dead weight of your will. I want to correspond, I want to be generous ”. But what kind of desire is mine? You see? Realize? Waiting is a “little step”, even if it leads to sanctity and sanctity is not achieved by sleeping all day! There comes a time in your life, young man, that it is necessary to wake up, firm up and understand that it hurts to want to be better, that “working out” the soul leaves the “spiritual muscles” sore. Over time, we get used to that pain, and we need to increase the weight of the devices, if not, we stagnate in the result. God wants us completely, and in this way of waiting, all our sufferings lead us to Him!
At the end of the sentence, São José Maria Escrivá says: “But what kind of desire is mine?”. YouCat, in paragraph 342, says: “The meaning of our life is to unite with God in love, to respond to God’s dreams. We must allow God to “live his life in us”, our wish should be that He would live His life in us, and then waiting would be a way to let Him work the fruits of Him in us! And the fruits of waiting are those that need to be, and are better than we think, even if it is not what we think!
What don’t they tell you about it? That in order to be whole for God we need to have ourselves in our hands, we give nothing to anyone that is not ours, unless we are tremendous wooden faces! I have the minimum decency to give people something that is mine, that I bought, that I achieved! It is hard to get back to the essence of what we are, but without it the wait is barren! It is possible, however, to make a return to the purity of being, which is our essence without the mixtures that we have been putting over time, to try to mischaracterize that! Let “He tell you who you are”!
From the bus to the altars
When we talk about waiting, what comes to your head first? Marriage? Dating? Exams? Results? Evidences? Lunchtime? The bus? Anyway, I discovered that for everything in life we will need to wait, from the computer, which is a huge cart, to God’s promise for our entire life! But each of these hopes collaborates with each other on this path; each of them teach us a little bit about how to deal with the other!
Have you ever had a stomach ache? I hope so! Everyone comes out better with a stomachache, believe me! We make promises during those hours of agony that transform our lives. When we have a stomachache and we are getting close to a bathroom, it seems that the bathroom will be far away, that we will never be able to reign peacefully, relieving that pain, that there will be no time, that we will die halfway or do what shouldn’t have been ahead of time! But the bathroom is there, creature, just a few steps away; and soon you will be able to be a free person again! Then, you will face other difficulties, consequences of belly pain: abdominal discomfort, wobbly body etc. But the pain passed, the bathroom that seemed so far has arrived!
Have you ever stood in line at the market waiting for your turn to arrive, and does the “aunt” in the front cart seem to have taken all the personal hygiene part of the market to her house? It is distressing, the desire to leave the market! But woe to you if you don’t get home with the bread, cheese and ham that your mother asked you to buy at the market!
Waiting, when you have your eye on the final goal, however difficult it may be, is easier than if the choices were hasty! The line at the market, the bus stop teach me that to have definitive choices in my life I need to be patient, because, in time, everything will fit together!
.: The joy of waiting on God
.: How to wait for Joseph who never arrives?
.: Luz da Fé: God’s pedagogy makes us wait
.: Why should we choose to trust and wait?
What don’t they tell you about it? That everything that is good requires effort, that everything worthwhile requires sacrifice, that everything that is a promise goes through the sieve of proof! We are still weak to understand all this, it is still difficult to understand and make sense of the sufferings inherent to each stage, either because we do not understand or because we are discouraged enough to seek solutions to what seems unsolvable!
What do I mean by all of this? That everything that generates life brings a small moment of pain, already beginning at our birth! To be born, it hurts someone; to die, sometimes too! One brings life on earth, another generates life in heaven! Waiting is no different, it hurts, it is a birth, it is not easy, but it is possible!
To conclude: do you know anything else they didn’t tell you? Even if no one has taught you that, waiting for what is important is in
our essence; after all, we live a lifetime waiting for heaven!