Competition

Competition is like a game of chess. If you lose, you can always play another round. Fighting is optional.
Jack ma

Coming into this world, a person finds himself in an environment in which he is forced to compete, that is, fight with other living beings, mainly of his kind, for various resources necessary for survival and mental comfort. This is due to the fact that, as a rule, what one person needs is more often needed by other people who, like him, also want to get something. And since most of us are always surrounded by other people, there is no doubt that our interests with them will necessarily intersect in some matters. This is the desire of many people for the same thing, and creates the ground for competition, struggle and even hostility. And since we are forced to compete with each other for certain values ​​and resources, we need to know and understand what competition is, how it goes in different situations and what qualities you need to develop in yourself in order to win in any competition. We will talk about this in this article.

What is competition?

Competition is a struggle, rivalry, enmity, various forms of conflict and clashes between people, the cause and purpose of which is to obtain some kind of resource, advantage, benefit. From a psychological point of view, competition is a person’s desire and ability to circumvent, replay, defeat other people for the sake of the resource he needs or for achieving some goal. I can even add that competition is a manifestation of a craving for life, when a person is internally inclined to fight and ready for conflicts and clashes with other people, for the sake of his interests, and does not try to avoid them, giving up his positions and abandoning his ambitions.

Often, competition is understood as rivalry between people that proceeds according to certain, artificial rules that impose some restrictions on the actions of these people. Say, a society can have such an agreement, documented, according to which it is impossible in the political struggle to violate the country’s constitution and its other laws in order to win elections. Or, in business, for the sake of superiority over a competitor and defeating him, one cannot, for example, use brute physical force against him, kidnap him, torture him, forcing him to sign the necessary documents and thus surrender his position. Such rules are designed to keep competition within a civilized framework and avoid destructive actions, both for competing parties and for society as a whole. For example, it’s quite obvious that all kinds of monopolies will not benefit society, they impede its development and provoke social tension. Frank crime also significantly worsens the quality of life of most members of society. Therefore, in a civilized society, competition, as a rule, and to a large extent, takes place within the framework of coined and well-conceived rules. Yes, they are often violated, but not everywhere, not by everyone and not always, and certainly not without negative consequences for the majority of those who violated them. So if we talk about perfect competition, we can say that this is a civilized kind of struggle, hostility, rivalry, in which both the competing parties and society do not do too much damage as a result of the victory of one and the defeat of the other. Roughly speaking, competitors in a civilized society do not kill each other, at least

However, perfect competition is not only a struggle according to certain, relatively humane rules that do not allow competing parties to use all possible methods, including outright crime, to defeat a rival opponent, this is also a sufficient number of participants in this struggle. After all, when is competition possible? Obviously, when there are parties involved in it. That is, when there are players, rivals, in some area, a niche. Rather, even when these parties have the opportunity to fight with each other, and for this their forces should be more or less equal. The more parties participate in the competition, the higher it is. And the higher it is, the more different ideas for victory are used by competing parties, doing, including very good, useful things for other people. For example, in politics, high competition allows politicians to achieve more altruistic behavior and a responsible attitude towards their constituents. In business, due to competition, consumers receive high quality goods and services, good service, reasonable prices. Indeed, without this, their attention cannot be attracted to themselves. In personal relationships, competition forces people to be less selfish in relation to a partner; it forces people to work on their personal qualities in order to increase the number of their merits and reduce the number of shortcomings. In this sense, competition is a good incentive to work on oneself, for the sake of superiority over others. In business, due to competition, consumers receive high quality goods and services, good service, reasonable prices. Indeed, without this, their attention cannot be attracted to themselves. In personal relationships, competition forces people to be less selfish in relation to a partner; it forces people to work on their personal qualities in order to increase the number of their merits and reduce the number of shortcomings. In this sense, competition is a good incentive to work on oneself, for the sake of superiority over others. In business, due to competition, consumers receive high quality goods and services, good service, reasonable prices. Indeed, without this, their attention cannot be attracted to themselves. In personal relationships, competition forces people to be less selfish in relation to a partner; it forces people to work on their personal qualities in order to increase the number of their merits and reduce the number of shortcomings. In this sense, competition is a good incentive to work on oneself, for the sake of superiority over others. to increase the number of their strengths and reduce the number of disadvantages. In this sense, competition is a good incentive to work on oneself, for the sake of superiority over others. to increase the number of their strengths and reduce the number of disadvantages. In this sense, competition is a good incentive to work on oneself, for the sake of superiority over others.

Let us pay attention to another interesting point, which makes it clear what competition involves. Let’s think about what is required of a person in order to be, so to speak, competitive, so that he can win in the competition. Someone says that for this it is important to be persistent, persistent, ready to go to the end and not break. For some, competition is primarily flexibility, when a person is looking for different ways to achieve their goals, winning and replaying other people. There are people who believe that competition requires a person’s determination and courage, even daring, thanks to which he is ready to do anything to eliminate those who get in his way. Well, there is still an opinion that in order to compete successfully with someone, it is important to be a good diplomat and be able to enter into alliances with profitable people, to negotiate with those who can help you defeat your rivals, enemies and competitors. And in the end, we can say with you that all these points, no doubt, are important in the competition and they are. At the same time, as I believe, the importance of some of them largely depends on the situation in which a person finds himself forced to compete with someone. Because in some cases, perseverance is really rewarded, while in others it prevents a person from showing flexibility and does not allow him to pay attention to other opportunities to succeed in something. Or, in some cases, you can and should negotiate with those who can help you cope with your competitor, acting, among other things, on the principle of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” but in others, there’s simply no one to get help from and therefore show determination and cunning to find a suitable opportunity to eliminate, replay, beat the opponent. So, which is more important in competition, each of us can decide by evaluating precisely our position, our situation and the conditions of the struggle.

Summing up the above, I want to note the main thing – no matter how we understand competition, looking at it in different situations and from different angles, we will always encounter it while living in human society. The only question is with whom, in what and at what level we will compete. Somewhere we can compete forcedly, for, say, a position in society, for an existing or desired partner, for the opportunity to work in a particular job and so on. Here, as they say, one does not have to choose, or we are doing something in order to present ourselves in a favorable light, or we are left with nothing. And somewhere, it all depends on our decision to participate in some activity in which you will compete with someone for certain resources, results, values, according to your desire. Let’s now talk about how to learn how to compete, so firstly

How to learn to compete?

To compete means to want and be able to fight for your interests. This struggle includes not only the desire to weaken the enemy and surpass him in key moments for victory, it also implies the ability to cooperate, negotiate, enter into profitable alliances, make useful contacts in order to become stronger in this way and gain additional opportunities to achieve your goals. Therefore, to learn to compete means to tune in to a result for which all means will be good, with the exception of those that can harm you. How to tune in to the result? To do this, a person must get used to regularly passing various tests, especially those that involve rivalry with other people. We need to strengthen our natural craving for rivalry, just as we strengthen our mind and body muscles,

As a matter of fact, life already consists of struggle and trials, and whether we like it or not, we will have to face difficulties constantly, unless someone carefully tries to protect us from them, for example, overly caring parents. But even in this case, any difficulties a person will still have to face, which will test him for strength. Only now, it is one thing to encounter these difficulties by chance, from case to case, and quite another, consciously and prepared to go to them. In the second case, a person, firstly, increases his chances of successfully overcoming them, because he prepares for them in advance, and secondly, he trains his psyche with them, increasing his confidence, assertiveness, stamina, and therefore competitiveness. At the same time, it is important to meet the challenges, having before our eyes examples of how to overcome them, preferably real, not exaggerating and not embellishing human capabilities. Indeed, for the development of competitive skills, it is important to believe in the ability to win in a particular competition. And if it is impossible to reinforce this belief with your own experience, because you may not have victories in similar situations in the past, then you need to reinforce it with the experience of others. If someone once managed to win, being in a situation in which you are now or are going to put yourself in it, then you can. In the end, you are made of the same flesh and blood as they are. Belief in success, in victory, will allow you to be steadfast in difficult moments when the advantage in the fight will be on the side of your competitor. Indeed, for the development of competitive skills, it is important to believe in the ability to win in a particular competition. And if it is impossible to reinforce this belief with your own experience, because you may not have victories in similar situations in the past, then you need to reinforce it with the experience of others. If someone once managed to win, being in a situation in which you are now or are going to put yourself in it, then you can. In the end, you are made of the same flesh and blood as they are. Belief in success, in victory, will allow you to be steadfast in difficult moments when the advantage in the fight will be on the side of your competitor. Indeed, for the development of competitive skills, it is important to believe in the ability to win in a particular competition. And if it is impossible to reinforce this belief with your own experience, because you may not have victories in similar situations in the past, then you need to reinforce it with the experience of others. If someone once managed to win, being in a situation in which you are now or are going to put yourself in it, then you can. In the end, you are made of the same flesh and blood as they are. Belief in success, in victory, will allow you to be steadfast in difficult moments when the advantage in the fight will be on the side of your competitor. being in a situation in which you are currently in or are going to put yourself in it, then you can. In the end, you are made of the same flesh and blood as they are. Belief in success, in victory, will allow you to be steadfast in difficult moments when the advantage in the fight will be on the side of your competitor. being in a situation in which you are currently in or are going to put yourself in it, then you can. In the end, you are made of the same flesh and blood as they are. Belief in success, in victory, will allow you to be steadfast in difficult moments when the advantage in the fight will be on the side of your competitor.

The next thing that is important for developing competitive skills is the taste of victories. You need to feel it with your whole body. It all starts with small successes and achievements, which form the basis of a person’s self-confidence and his daring, thanks to which he is not afraid of the challenge of life and is ready to throw them at it. Competing with those whom you can defeat, you pave the path from intention to a successful result in your mind. This is how the winner’s psychology is developed, which is necessary for competition. Such victories, even if they will be frivolous, not too significant for you, nevertheless strengthen your character very well and push you to a new struggle. Thanks to them, a person sees that through struggle it is possible to come to a worthy reward, he accustoms himself to ensuring success through resistance, both of the external environment and his internal factors, to your goals. The taste of defeat is also important, and any person will experience it sooner or later. But before you feel this taste, it is useful to get enough of victories.

From the foregoing, it can be concluded that for the development of competitive qualities, it is advisable for a person to be brought up not in comfortable and favorable conditions, but in harsh, Spartan ones, so that he has both an incentive to compete and compete, and the habit of fighting for even the minimum benefits, and not receive them like manna from heaven just like that. At the same time, it is desirable to have a good mentor who will help him learn the taste of victories and avoid unnecessary defeats, before his psyche grows stronger and the person becomes resistant to the blows of fate. These, I repeat, are desirable but optional conditions. You can do without them, if you just develop the habit of constantly competing with someone in something, for which, in fact, you need to do this regularly. By nature, we are kind of inclined towards this, and it’s only advisable to approach this deliberately and systematically, in order to develop the psychology of the winner through small victories, and not the victim, who constantly fails and gives in to everything in everything. Ideally, a person should be able to withstand any competition conditions that circumstances impose on him. But for this it’s still better to move from simple to complex, that is, from easy victories to larger, more significant ones. It’s very difficult for him to tread such a path for himself, because a person can have a rather limited idea of ​​life, as a result of which some trials may seem unreasonably easy for him, and some he can unreasonably be afraid of and therefore avoid. Mentor, no matter who he is, a parent or teacher who knows more about life and has already come a certain way on which he had to fight both people and circumstances, as a result of which he won and lost,

An important point!

According to my observations and the opinion formed thanks to them, in a competitive struggle, wherever and between whom it occurs, even in the wild between different living beings, even in human society between different people and groups, it is important, in economic terms, to know about your competitive advantages, that is, about their relatively unique strengths in order to competently use them in the fight against the enemy and competitor. Suppose you are weaker than others in something, but you will certainly be strong in something, or at least not weaker, and you should use this. I am sure there are always options to defeat any opponent, you just need to find him. Here from some people I sometimes hear that they lack something for a successful or even any struggle for various resources, values, goals. Someone’s health is not allowed to go in for sports, someone doesn’t have the necessary education for a good job, someone doesn’t have the initial capital to start a business, someone has an unattractive appearance that hinders building relationships with the opposite sex, and so on and so forth. . People always focus their attention on what they don’t have, on their shortcomings, weaknesses, problems, in order to justify by them both their failures and their passivity. They do not consider it necessary for themselves to engage in a struggle with other people, because they are sure that they are initially in unfavorable conditions. Which means they cannot win. Then there is no need to fight. Familiar position? interfering with building relationships with the opposite sex, and so on and so forth. People always focus their attention on what they don’t have, on their shortcomings, weaknesses, problems, in order to justify by them both their failures and their passivity. They do not consider it necessary for themselves to engage in a struggle with other people, because they are sure that they are initially in unfavorable conditions. Which means they cannot win. Then there is no need to fight. Familiar position? interfering with building relationships with the opposite sex, and so on and so forth. People always focus their attention on what they don’t have, on their shortcomings, weaknesses, problems, in order to justify by them both their failures and their passivity. They do not consider it necessary for themselves to engage in a struggle with other people, because they are sure that they are initially in unfavorable conditions. Which means they cannot win. Then there is no need to fight. Familiar position? Then there is no need to fight. Familiar position? Then there is no need to fight. Familiar position?

So, such a position has a more useful alternative in the form of searching and developing within itself such qualities that can increase your competitiveness. Any person has some strengths of his own, some existing or potential advantages, if developed, over other people. Therefore, you need to pay attention to the fact that you are already good at doing that, that it’s great for you, what are you strong at and that you can answer various challenges with this asset and use it in competition. Of course, any qualities need to be developed. But it is always better to develop something that already has some inclinations, natural or acquired. For example, a person may be gifted with something from nature and this is something, his main competitive advantage, which makes sense to develop among the first. Or a person may have a good experience in something, what can be used in competition with other people. For example, someone is strong in financial matters, and someone in legal matters, someone in psychological matters, and someone in oratory, and so on. It is wise to use what you are good at and of course develop these strengths of yours. After all, to compete, it is not necessary to do the same thing that your competitor does, it is first of all the pursuit of the same goals, and they can be achieved in different ways.

Competitive environment

When it comes to the competitive environment, quite often, as an example, artificial situations are cited in which people are forced to compete with each other, compete, and even quarrel. It can be study, work, business, sports, politics, personal relationships and so on, when several people strive for the same thing, so their paths intersect and they begin to fight with each other. Such examples, pointing to certain areas of human activity, imply that there are supposedly and non-competitive environments where a person without any struggle and rivalry can get something, achieve something, do something. This is really possible when you are under the protection of someone and someone else is fighting for you with circumstances and other people. Or if you live on a desert island, where as your potential competitors in the struggle for the same food will be wild animals. In reality, a person is always in a competitive environment if he lives in a society of people. He does not need to do something, for example, a business in which there are competitors, or sports where there are rivals in order to get into the competitive environment, because we are all already doing what we have many competitors in – we live. Life itself is a competitive environment in itself. because we are all already doing what we are full of competitors in – we live. Life itself is a competitive environment in itself. because we are all already doing what we are full of competitors in – we live. Life itself is a competitive environment in itself.

And what does this environment require of us? Of course, the ability to adapt and the desire to fight, and as I say, craving for victories, achievements and success. Competitive life is a life that a person highly appreciates because he sees the meaning in it, feels its taste, and not just watches it from the side. But to choose a position in life that implies that a person will constantly make concessions to other people in everything and avoid confrontation with them, in my opinion, is very harmful. Such a position makes a person weak, ill-adapted to life, and forces him to lose interest in her. Life must be lived in order to love it, and not just watch it. Although this is sometimes useful. So the constant struggle with someone or something makes a person more viable and therefore cheerful. Meanwhile according to my and not only my observations, the human brain is always looking for easy ways, so often many people strive, if not for the complete absence of competitors in any field or activity, then at least their minimal number, in order to feel relatively calm and comfortable doing their own thing. Do you think this avoidance of high competition contributes to enhancing a person’s competitive skills? Definitely not. Although it helps to save nerves, because high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. therefore, many people often strive, if not for the complete absence of competitors in any field or activity, then at least for their minimal number, in order to feel relatively calm and comfortable, doing their own business. Do you think this avoidance of high competition contributes to enhancing a person’s competitive skills? Definitely not. Although it helps to save nerves, because high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. therefore, many people often strive, if not for the complete absence of competitors in any field or activity, then at least for their minimal number, in order to feel relatively calm and comfortable, doing their own business. Do you think this avoidance of high competition contributes to enhancing a person’s competitive skills? Definitely not. Although it helps to save nerves, because high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. then at least to their minimum number, to feel relatively calm and comfortable, doing their own thing. Do you think this avoidance of high competition contributes to enhancing a person’s competitive skills? Definitely not. Although it helps to save nerves, because high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. then at least to their minimum number, to feel relatively calm and comfortable, doing their own thing. Do you think this avoidance of high competition contributes to enhancing a person’s competitive skills? Definitely not. Although it helps to save nerves, because high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. for high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you. for high competition leads to stress. But the most interesting thing is that avoiding this competition, you can experience great stress, because what you do not want to do [politics, business, work, relationships, where there is always a place for intrigue and rivalry], sooner or later will deal with you.

In most cases, a person simply cannot live without a struggle, because it is everywhere, everywhere one must be able to either bump into elbows in order to gain something or not to lose something, or to be able to negotiate and come to an agreement in order to achieve personal and common goals. And if a person does not feel this struggle, it means it is not so difficult for him, or, as I said above, someone is fighting for him with unfavorable circumstances and unfriendly people, and he’s brought everything ready to him, as they say. So, in particular, it happens in some families where parents protect their child from any difficulties and problems, doing everything for him, as a result of which the child grows weak and incapable of life, he gets used to get a lot just like that, without any struggle, from for which it becomes very moody and harmful. He thinks that everyone owes him everything, therefore, it requires other people to take the same attitude toward themselves that they are used to on the part of their parents. I don’t need to explain what this leads to, for many of us often encounter such people in our lives.

It often happens that life puts pressure on a person and hits him until he begins to somehow respond to her blows, thus demonstrating the will to live. For example, a person can be suppressed and oppressed in the family or at work, or, say, the same class struggle never stops at a certain level, is never in a stable state. On the contrary, such a confrontation between people often reaches a boiling point, after which there are some changes in society. Well, for example, a revolution. So people compete for life itself and for a good life. Some press, others defend themselves, respond whenever possible, and then when the struggle escalates, changes take place, often accompanied by a redistribution of resources. So, one way or another, life pushes a person to a struggle, which can take different forms, including one that we call competition. It’s almost impossible to just live a calm life, without touching anyone and not getting into anywhere, and at the same time hoping that no one will touch you and no one will come to you. Any passions are boiling everywhere [in families, labor collectives, business environment, politics], everywhere someone is constantly trying to cross the road to another, different, always some people try to push other people away from vital resources and almost everyone wants to be in what something better than others. Therefore, you do not need to look for non-competitive environments, you do not need to avoid the struggle, thinking that this is an easy way in life. Escape from danger, problems, difficulties, may be a tactically justified solution in some situations. But to build a whole life strategy on it, I think, is inexpedient and pointless. You won’t see life

Interesting exception

Despite the above, nevertheless, I believe there is one way to avoid direct and frank competition with other people in the pursuit of their goals, while not harming their adaptive skills and not avoiding the struggle as such, but simply leading it mainly by its own rules . For this, it is necessary to use a creative approach to solve various problems and tasks, in which a person chooses his own unique life path and overcomes various obstacles in non-standard ways, as far as possible. Of course, this does not completely relieve a person of competition with other people, he does not go into some kind of his own world, while closing himself from the outside. He continues to live in objective reality, only trying to think creatively, unconventionally, innovatively, to come to something different, including uncharted ways, and not jostle with other people on the beaten track. It is difficult to compete with such people, because they are able to make unique decisions and thanks to them be one step ahead of the rest.

Moreover, this approach to life makes it quite interesting, because you always need to look for something new, think up something, create, generate ideas in order to cope with your task in a non-standard, but very effective way. The brain is constantly working, it does not get bored, does not become discouraged, does not start to slide to the negative, it allows a person to remain on a reasonably optimistic wave. I can confirm this with my own experience, because I also try to be unique in my desires and deeds, I strive to independently determine the values ​​and goals that are important to me, set priorities in the way I need and solve different problems and tasks in the way that I think is right, and not so as most people do. Being unique is not an end in itself for me. And this is not a desire to avoid competition. It’s just a state of mind which I tune in to make my life interesting and it does not have such things that I could not do if I wanted to. See what the point is? With whom and in what you do not compete, what you would not want from life, what you would not strive for, if you look and come up with different ways to solve your problems and tasks, you will never find yourself in a deadlock situation, you always get out, you can always come up with something to figure it out and do something. Sometimes I teach this to my clients or students, if they consider themselves as such, who want to form an individual approach to life, so as not to be harnessed to the team harnessing for most people, which requires them not good imagination, but great endurance, because you have to work not so much smartly as much, a lot of wear. And to be the first in something means to be the best, and at the same time skim the good ones from your achievements. Therefore, in my opinion, it is quite obvious that it is more profitable to follow the path that there are not so many people, and at the same time it leads to the same place that other people go to, but in other ways.

Can such people who strive to be unique in their affairs have competitors? Yes and no. On the one hand, everything that one person does can theoretically do the other, it is enough for him to repeat after the first. But on the other hand, creative activity is unique. You cannot exactly copy another person in certain matters, for example, in communication, in writing, in art. Rather, it can be done, but it will not be competition, but imitation and imitation, in which the original in most cases will be better than a fake. Somewhere she, this imitation, will pass, but somewhere not. True connoisseurs of someone’s art will be drawn to the original, especially to the person who is behind this or that creation. In this sense, such a creator cannot have competitors, in any case for himself. People doing something similar they can see a competitor in him and can call themselves his competitors, but for him there will be no competition, because he goes his own way, special, unique, and he himself represents something unique that cannot be copied exactly. People do not need a second Beethoven, they need only the first. People need someone unique, some single copy that can be admired, and not someone who hides in the shadow of famous personalities and is ready to be content with crumbs from their fame due to barbaric imitation. Thus, all that only you can do, thanks to your imagination and creativity, all the uniqueness of your personality, is not subject to competition. and he himself represents something unique that cannot be copied exactly. People do not need a second Beethoven, they need only the first. People need someone unique, some single copy that can be admired, and not someone who hides in the shadow of famous personalities and is ready to be content with crumbs from their fame due to barbaric imitation. Thus, all that only you can do, thanks to your imagination and creativity, all the uniqueness of your personality, is not subject to competition. and he himself represents something unique that cannot be copied exactly. People do not need a second Beethoven, they need only the first. People need someone unique, some single copy that can be admired, and not someone who hides in the shadow of famous personalities and is ready to be content with crumbs from their fame due to barbaric imitation. Thus, all that only you can do, thanks to your imagination and creativity, all the uniqueness of your personality, is not subject to competition.

Relations with competitors

Another interesting and important point related to competition, and therefore with relations between people, is relations with competitors. They can be built on the basis not only of the interests of a person, group of people, organization, but of their beliefs about such relationships. So a person believes that competitors must be crushed, destroyed, and in accordance with this, they try to do this without considering other options for interacting with them. Someone convinced him, someone taught him that this is how it should be, that competitors are enemies. I myself often find in various sources information on how to deal with competitors, how to eliminate them, win, or even destroy them. But for some reason very little is said about how to negotiate and cooperate with them. But in some, and perhaps in most cases, it can be much more profitable and easier. In my practice, I had to do this, I helped people find a common language and common interests with their competitors, thus turning the confrontation and enmity between them into mutually beneficial cooperation. And in my opinion, this is what we should strive for first of all, because with a competent approach to such cooperation, it may turn out to be more profitable even than a complete victory over your competitor. Because the weakening of one of your competitors can lead to the strengthening of another, and he uses his strength against you. Therefore, again, in some situations it is important not only to profit from anything else together with the competitor, but it is also personally beneficial for you to keep such a competitor to counterbalance other competitors. This is a delicate matter, but a necessary one, helping to pursue your interests.

It’s not so difficult to establish communication and business relations with competitors if you set such a goal. It is enough to ask at least one such question: what form of relations with a competitor may turn out to be beneficial both for him and for me? And then we will think over the details and the plan of negotiations with the other party in order to interest it with our proposal. This approach can greatly simplify the life of a person, people. And as far as I know, smart and practical people do just that. For example, if we talk about business, especially about large. In it, people do not bite with each other, but look for opportunities for cooperation and often find and use them. Therefore, there are cartel conspiracies with which certain structures formally fight or must fight. Only they do not always successfully do this, and not because of poor work. So the power is given to people by cooperation and communication, not hostility. Yes, it, cooperation, is not always and not in everything appropriate. In the same relations with the opposite sex, it is sometimes impossible to agree with a competitor in the person of a direct opponent, a rival. But, on the other hand, you can try to do this in order to better know the person who opposes you. In a word, in relations with competitors, in my opinion, and I do not pretend to be its absolute truth, it is better to approach from the standpoint of diplomacy than from the standpoint of war. You must not allow your feelings and instincts to force you to react primitively to those who prevent you from getting what you want, because this can lead to an open, protracted and devastating conflict for all. And even if you exit it as a winner, you can not get anything substantial from such a victory. It will be a Pyrrhic victory and it will not lead you to serious success. I do not claim that this always happens, I only urge you to look at relations with competitors from different perspectives, and not just from a fighting perspective.

Но если все-таки с конкурентами приходится бороться и враждовать, то один из лучших способов избавиться от них – это направить их по ложному пути. Когда человек думает, что движется в правильном направлении, он прилагает массу усилий для того, чтобы свое движение ускорить и усовершенствовать. Он не мешается у вас под ногами, он идет к обрыву или тупику и думает, что переигрывает вас. А вы тем временем, без лишнего сопротивления с его стороны движетесь к своим целям. Главное, чтобы он не сомневался в том, что поступает правильно, для этого нужно имитировать борьбу с ним, демонстрируя якобы важность для вас того, к чему он стремится. Вообще, все начинается с системы ценностей человека, которую ему прививают, и необязательно с детства. Система ценностей может быть умело навязана в любом возрасте. Именно на этом уровне [уровне жизненных ценностей] закладывается база его жизненных убеждений, а значит и желаний. Ориентируясь на определенные ценности, человек может игнорировать другие важные для жизни вещи и вообще не стремиться к ним. А значит он не будет конкурентом для тех, кто к этим, другим вещам, ценностям стремится. Посмотрите, сколько в нашем обществе исключительно материально ориентированных людей, безгранично преданных своей кормящей руке, которая держит их на хорошей зарплате, как на цепи. В итоге человек конкурирует с другими людьми именно в тех делах и областях, которые определяет для него эта кормящая рука, а в другие даже не лезет. Удобно ведь, согласитесь, прикормить своего действующего или потенциального конкурента, давая ему маленькую часть пирога за не очень большие усилия с его стороны, которые идут вам на пользу, вместо того, чтобы бороться с ним и рисковать куском побольше, который он вполне будет способен оттяпать.

So, when it is impossible to agree with a competitor, you can begin to quarrel with him, imposing false goals on him, due to your demonstrative aspirations for supposedly important goals. And when it is difficult or unprofitable to fight, it is necessary to seek cooperation with competitors, especially with the strong, turning them into their allies. So you can, for example, “be friends against someone,” solving a common problem with a competitor. Flexibility in this matter determines a lot.

So, let’s repeat the main thoughts from this article once again. Firstly, it is important to understand that competition is everywhere and in everything, just somewhere it is stronger, somewhere weaker. Therefore, in order to feel comfortable in this world, you need to prepare for struggle and rivalry with other people from early childhood, thus tempering your character and increasing your competitiveness. Avoid this confrontation is not necessary, always hide from the objective law of nature will not work. Either you yourself will learn to compete with people, or life will teach you this, but in a more severe way, making you experience pain and suffering from losses and failures. You can go your own, unique way, be original in your actions, be creative in solving different problems in order to achieve your goals in different ways. It won’t save you from competition, but will allow you to get a significant competitive advantage over the rest. Indeed, most people in this world are imitators, therefore, even repeating after you, they will always be one step behind you.

Secondly, it is highly advisable to create conditions for yourself or your children in which it is necessary to deal with difficulties and compete with someone in something in order to have and develop motivation to fight. In greenhouse conditions, people tend to grow weak, insecure, shy, because they do not have the ability to adapt to stressful situations and overcome difficulties. Some parents try to protect their children from all kinds of problems and difficulties, help them in many ways, thereby greatly simplifying their lives. And although it has already been shown and proved a million times, with real living examples, such an approach to raising a child is fundamentally wrong, because it does not allow you to prepare a person for life, people still use it. Well I do not know, maybe my advice in this article will help someone to reconsider their view of this moment, not only in relation to their children, but also in relation to themselves. We humans need difficulties, problems, stresses and even pain and suffering in order to be not only competitive, but also viable.

Thirdly, if possible [and if there is no such opportunity, you need to look for it], you need to have a mentor, teacher who will prepare you [or your children] for life, creating for you difficulties that you will be able to overcome, moving from small victories to big ones. Most often, parents take on such a role if they are competent and responsible, and they have time to deal with their children. And of course you should not forget about yourself. But it goes without saying that a competent specialist in the issue of personality development can solve this problem much more effectively, even if an adult is correctly guided through life, even a child. It’s like with a sports coach [as well as a manager] who creates a special plan for the development of an athlete, helping him become successful. You need to understand that you can’t immediately, without proper preparation, to rush into the struggle with seasoned rivals, opponents, competitors, enemies, for such courage will bring nothing but damage and disappointment. Each person has his own strengths, each has his own characteristics that allow him to cope with some difficulties and not cope with others. All this must be taken into account when preparing a person for life, for competition, for struggle.

Fourth, with regard to your competitors, it is necessary to maintain such relations with them that are relevant in each specific situation. It is not at all necessary to see in all of them enemies who need to be destroyed. In certain situations, they can see allies, of course, temporary, and partners, and even friends. Collaboration with competitors in some cases can be much more profitable not only in the fight against them, but even in a complete victory in each of them. Do not forget that the most important quality in competition is flexibility. You can’t be stronger than everyone, but you can adapt to each.

And, perhaps, I’ll add conditionally the fifth in a row and also a very important idea about how to live in this competitive world and win in it more often. Each of us, in my deepest conviction, must learn not only how to win in the competition, but also how to lose in it. In a number of cases, defeat is not a loss of something or damage suffered, but a signal that you need to change something in your life, either the goal or the ways to achieve it. If you fell, then something you did wrong. Get up and try to do it again, but in a different way, then it may work out. And if it doesn’t work, then think about whether you need to do this at all, or maybe you should do something else?

All people, as I have already written many times, are unique, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, each in some ways may be good, but in some ways bad. Seriously, it is best to start competing with someone in the matter in which you are strong, in which you can do a lot of good things, in most cases it is better than others. This does not mean that you should not initially strive for anything that you do not understand anything about. Slowly you can learn any skills that you can master. You just have to be realistic and not waste your time and energy in areas that are unpromising for you. Well, for example, it is unreasonable to try to become a successful basketball player, having one and a half meters of growth. Of course, I do not exclude the likelihood that something can come out of this desire if a person climbs out of his skin just to fulfill his dream. But the chances are much higher that such a goal would be unattainable. And around, at the same time, there are still so many interesting and valuable things in which a person could prove himself from the very best side and achieve crazy success in various other matters. So we must approach our defeats and failures philosophically to see in them, as I call it, “tips of life”, thanks to which each of us can make wise decisions that can lead us to harmony with ourselves and the world around us, and, of course , to numerous victories and successes, and therefore to happiness. By knocking people down, life does not set itself the goal of breaking each of us, it is simply trying to draw our attention to something more important than what it was focused on before our fall. She doesn’t want the person to continue lying after her blow, she needs him to get up and continue moving,

These are my thoughts and conclusions based on them regarding this topic. I sincerely hope that this article will help many, or at least some of you, dear readers, to better adapt in this world where one of the most important qualities for survival and success is willingness, desire and ability to fight.

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