Coexistence . It is the condition of relating to other people through permanent communication, based on affection and tolerance that allows living and sharing in harmony in different situations in life.
Summary
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- 1 Establishment of family communication
- 1 When to establish communication?
- 2 What topics to include?
- 3 How to proceed?
- 4 More than talking
- 5 Performance of family coexistence with adolescents
- 2 See also
- 3 Sources
Establishment of family communication
One of the main indicators of family health is, without a doubt, the level of communication that has been established between its members. The solution to most of the existing problems in the relationships of those who share the same home, passes through the need to increase communication patterns in the filial sphere.
Family communication, in the first place, must interconnect all the members of the nucleus, although it is no less true that it can coexist with patterns of affinity, as is the case of relationships between equals, understood as the links that occur between adults, adolescents or infants, members of the same sex, or age groups. These related ties also tend to appear in a cross way, as are the cases of mothers with children, fathers with daughters and grandchildren with grandparents.
But in all cases, it is important to bear in mind that no decision, project, or matter of collective importance should be assumed without the judgment of everyone, regardless of age.
Some questions then arise: what is the best time to establish communication? How to achieve it? What to talk about? …
When to establish communication?
Sometimes, the daily dynamics prevent us from giving it the importance of sharing the spaces that are available with the people with whom they unite blood ties. This fact is the first thing to banish.
Conversations should flow spontaneously and only in cases where it is necessary to resort to family meetings as an exceptional event.
A walk or excursion can also be a favorable setting to report on an important matter that you want to remember forever.
Creating spaces for communication will be, then, the simplest and most daily of the actions that are carried out as a family. Any moment, it can be opportune for the dialogue.
What topics to include?
As a family you should talk about anyone and none should cause fright. This is a way of facing social life, which is why you must have the support of the people you love the most.
You can tell family stories from previous generations, discover secrets no matter how painful they may be, future projects, resolve conflicts or any change or significant event that happens in the family framework.
The sexuality is another aspect to consider in family gatherings, employment outcomes, student or household, personal experiences …
It should talk about the things that are right and those that are wrong, the establishment of limits, the assessments of the youngest about the rules of conduct to follow at home, the reconciliation of interests in this regard.
A good read, a television program, a movie, are usually effective subjects if they are used well. Projecting a modification in the home or a deep cleaning between all will allow to unite criteria and achieve collaboration.
How to proceed?
The basic principle is not to lie. All information must be validated for its veracity. In families where there are little ones, it must be taken into account that they are in the stage of discovering the world, so family references are essential. There is nothing that cannot be said to him, nothing to avoid, his intelligence should not be underestimated.
Not feeling prepared to address a topic or answer questions does not mean leaving the doubt. The consultation with the specialized person will delay the answer a little, but the unknown will never remain.
Another aspect to keep in mind is that any dialogue must be interactive, or what is the same, flow in all directions. Neither the constant sermons nor the domineering attitude of the one who knows everything will help to create sufficient confidence to express the criteria.
In relationships with children there are fatal mistakes: authoritarianism and being the owner of the absolute truth, downplaying things, making people feel guilty and the abuse of lectures and sermons. All of them detract from reliability.
The messages must be clear and precise, away from any ambiguity. The old saying goes well: A good understanding with a few words is enough. When in doubt, give yourself time to meditate.
Something that is forbidden is that I do not have time to assist you. An after can be turned into a never. Only in exceptional cases could the talk be delayed, but it must be shown that you are interested and immediately give it the necessary space.
Modulating the tones of the voice is also essential, each circumstance requires a specific emphasis, which the family must recognize.
Finally, the acceptance of the other, or as it is also said, putting yourself in their shoes, will be a way to face differences and to be fair.
More than talking
Now, communicating is more than talking. There is no doubt that the gift of speech greatly facilitates relationships, but if something leaves an everlasting mark, it is personal example. The speech must be consistent with the way of acting.
Gestures also acquire vital importance. If you do not show attention and interest, that you like or dislike a criterion, that you agree or not, you may be missing others that are more relevant.
Being indifferent, like ice floes, or in the worst case, not even attending, will result in withdrawal. Silence can be just as damaging as the wrong message.
Performance of family coexistence with adolescents
The family as the basic unit and the most common form where the coexistence of social or community life is verified, not only encompassed husband and wife, and children, but also includes, in a not uncommon degree, grandparents and some other family member, has gradually adopting the nuclear structure, fed by the essential components of husband and wife and children.
Friction between parents and children frequently occurs. Upon reaching puberty , for psychophysiological and fundamentally social reasons, adolescents come into conflict with parenthood, in a broad sense. In the social sphere, it nurtures values that do not always coincide with those that prevail in the family nucleus.
In that order, conflicts can occur. The natural desire for emancipation of adolescence is in current times, and already before entering the 21st century, in sometimes continuous clash between youth and parents, requiring the intervention of a family therapist.
