We all want to live a married life full of happiness and harmony, where love can always reign. However, sometimes it is complicated, because we are all different and think differently, so it is quite common to have some differences. But when these marital conflicts are frequent, to the point of damaging their integrity, dignity and physical health, and leaving no room for reconciliation, it is a totally toxic relationship.
There are people who, although they are together for love, family or any other reason, can be harmful. As my father used to say: “The worst blind is the one who doesn’t want to see” ; which means that, despite the pain and suffering caused by a person to his spouse, it is impossible for him to break this emotional bond. Thus, he ends up letting life go, thinking that one day will change.
Psychology doctor Walter Riso says it is useless to want your spouse to change completely, as your personality, identity and education have been deeply rooted since childhood. It may be that a person modifies some habits or customs to improve coexistence, but they should never be expected to change as we want, as we would be destroying the essence and authenticity that make them unique and special.
Why do we hurt those we love?
No one is committed to thinking or wanting to harm their partner, because love is the feeling that strengthens them day after day. But we make mistakes unconsciously, harming those we love most.
So I share those personality types that harm your partner, so that you can identify them and thus fix your relationship.
1. Those who never make decisions
Whether for fear of making mistakes or damaging the stability of the family, that person never makes decisions, however simple they may be. Your world spins depending on what others want to do or not, in this case, the spouse. This behavior, in some situations, will make the spouse feel strengthened, strong and indispensable; without realizing the heavy weight that falls on your shoulders.
But, why can this harm you? Simply because they are a couple that needs to make decisions together, because, if the spouse is wrong, all the blame will be on him, generating feelings of frustration, hatred and disgust. For this reason, it is important to get involved in all decisions and not let just one of them make them.
2. The impulsive
At this point, it is the exact opposite. As explained by Sigmund Freud , impulsivity is the force that the id (he, that) has on the ego (me) and the superego (superego).
The impulsive cannot tolerate waiting, are impatient, generally leave aside responsibilities and obligations, are prone to cholera and generate unnecessary conflicts, believing that they are absolutely sure of everything.
Sometimes they regret it when things get out of control, however, they continue to repeat the same behavior, impairing their spouse’s physical and emotional stability.
3. Those who want to control everything
They are people who always fight for what they think and never think they are wrong, they always express their point of view, convincing anyone that what they decide is the best, regardless of the partner’s opinion. Sometimes they are blackmailers, causing their spouse to act submissively.
You may listen to your spouse’s opinion, but you will always end up doing whatever you decide. Sometimes, this behavior is not visibly harmful, but they can end up harming the other over time, affecting their self-esteem, security and confidence.
4. The infidels
Infidelity is not just about having an extramarital relationship; the person can become unfaithful in other ways as well. For example: having intimate thoughts with another person without actually having physical contact, virtually or not; or being affectionately unfaithful, that is, creating a strong emotional bond with someone other than your spouse, among others.
Every form of infidelity harms the spouse, the family, loved ones, friends and everyone around the couple. At this point, it would be convenient to assess the relationship and accept part of the blame. On many occasions, forgiveness and regret make room for the relationship to be saved.
5. The unrealists
In every conjugal relationship there must be a balance; when there is not, the relationship obviously goes bad. When a person is too optimistic without being realistic, they can arise marital conflict, since it Will not the will be able to see the consequences of each decision.
It is good to be positive, to act in favor of each situation, to learn from adversity. However, the problem can harm the couple when there is no attitude, only thoughts.
6. Those who do not take responsibility
One of the characteristics that make marriage a success is not to neglect the role that each one must play in order to achieve family stability . When the spouse starts to be irresponsible with his obligations it will obviously damage the relationship.
Remember that you are a couple and you need to work together to find happiness, achieve your dreams and goals; otherwise, it will be almost impossible to have a solid and successful marriage.
The personalities or behaviors mentioned above are detrimental to marriage; therefore, it is advisable to start communicating better in marriage and thus find solutions to the problem. It is even valid to ask for help from a specialist in the field. Remember that in every relationship there are conflicts, which is normal; however, prevent certain attitudes from damaging your integrity as a person.