Christmas should bring happiness and joy, but it’s not like that for everyone.
Sometimes everything around us, from shop windows, to street lights, to Christmas decorations, is a promise of joy but we are melancholy, thoughtful or even sad.
In fact, holidays are characterized as a moment of break from work and daily stress, in which one can dedicate oneself to rest and pleasant activities, but which inevitably also becomes the moment in which one reflects on oneself by looking inside again .
Thus the problems and difficulties hitherto apparently managed or ignored suddenly become evident, and the tiring emotions such as frustration, pain, suffering, often set aside due to the frenzy of life , return to make themselves felt.
Christmas is the family day, in which affection and love are celebrated.
However, our families and loved ones are not always close to us, someone is no longer with us, other times we disagree with them, still others we feel we have no one to share these festive moments with, no one who really loves us. These are just some of the reasons why sadness, bitterness and regret about the past appear. The end of the year is then inevitably a moment of evaluation, in which we take stock of what the past year has been like. What dreams or goals have we achieved, who have we shared them with, what have we not achieved, what were the missed opportunities, what we could have done more or differently but we didn’t make it. Based on these evaluations we will experience a more or less positive or negative sentiment.
Disappointment and sadness can thus alternate and in the most extreme cases sadness can also become depression.
It is important to face the situation in the right way in order not to fall victim to it and not to ruin this moment which can instead be positive.
The 4 most frequent traps and how to deal with them:
1 Thinking that during the holidays you should be happy and that sadness is a wrong emotion
Every emotion, including sadness, has its right to emerge and exist but we must not believe that it is determined by the party itself. In fact, most of the time the negative emotion is generated by what you say to yourself about that situation: “I have to feel good at all costs”, “I’m alone”, “Nobody loves me”, “I’m afraid of the future” . It’s these thoughts that make you feel bad and often aren’t even realistic, helpful, or rational.
2 Ruminate on negative events or what hasn’t been accomplished
Instead, rationally evaluate, in addition to the negative events, also the positive ones of the year and the situation you are currently experiencing. You will find that not everything you have done has really gone wrong and that you have strengths you can rely on.
Also rationally evaluate your expectations and what you would have liked to achieve. You will find that you often expect too much of yourself, others or situations. Therefore, reduce your expectations on a more realistic basis, this will allow you to reactivate yourself concretely and more effectively in the future.
3 Thinking that you are the only one experiencing this uneasiness
Share what you feel with the people you care about. On the one hand, this will allow you to overcome that feeling of loneliness that further fuels sadness, and on the other hand, it will help you feel that emotion as normal.
Furthermore, together with the others, you can easily find more ways to effectively overcome your malaise.
4 Restrict your attention to your own personal problems only
Do something for others, for the people you care about, try to be together, do a small kind gesture towards them, make them feel loved and appreciated as you would like to be.
You can then look even further. You could lend your help to an association or organization that takes care of less fortunate people.
Being helpful to others will help you take all the attention away from your personal problems and experience positive emotions.
If you feel you have a more urgent need, ask for psychological support to prevent a difficult but largely surmountable situation from generating more complex problems.
If you want, tell me something about your experience, using the comments below the article.
