To say that “if I had loved you, I would not have left you” is a completely wrong statement. Men and women end relationships with the person they love all the time. This kind of disruption can be totally avoided if you know the causes that make a man make that decision.
Men fall in love, but they have the ability to separate feelings from logic, and in many cases, logic is stronger than the heart. Although it seems unbelievable, it is important for them to analyze whether they can really make their partner happy, they understand and know that if she is happy, they will be happy too.
There are three factors that impact a man’s possible escape from the arms of the woman he loves:
- Fear of not being what the woman really wants him to be
A popular song by singer Ricardo Arjona illustrates this feeling in a nutshell: “ I am in the middle of what I am and what you want. Wanting to wake up thinking like I don’t want “ . The song illustrates the dialogue between a couple who blame themselves for having failed.
We women are very likely to adapt to the man we like in our desire to win him over. If we didn’t like football, we suddenly started to like and talk about sports as specialists. Men, on the other hand, do not have that flexibility and look for someone to accept them as they are. The fear of not being what the woman they love longs for, paralyzes them and motivates them to give up on the relationship.
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The most important thing is to be authentic, not to pretend and not to try to change it. If he is not romantic, do not demand that he be. Appreciate the virtues he has and don’t be obsessed with those you would like him to have.
- Fear of losing identity, not freedom
When we hear that men do not want to lose their freedom, we immediately think that they certainly want to continue living as if they were single, and infidelity takes over our thinking.
The truth, in most cases, is much simpler than that. They don’t want to lose it’s identity. When we started having problems in our relationship, we all inevitably turned our minds back to the beginning, when we first met, and to that time when everything seemed pink.
At first, we respect the other person’s space, we see ourselves, we go out, we think about them, but we see them as an individual, as someone separate from us, someone who has a life, needs, tastes, dreams and projects. When we unite our lives with someone else’s, we unite everything except individuality. We continue to exist as individual human beings, with things we still want to achieve, with friends we want to visit and with needs other than life as a couple. If you want your partner to be fulfilled as a person, progress, relax, continue to exist apart from you, your relationship will become an indestructible society.
- Not being able to feel the same as you at the same speed
No human being is the same as another, so we develop our thoughts and feelings in different ways and at different speeds. Knowing that someone loves you with a certain intensity and that “you cannot live without you” can become a pressure.
Men, by nature, have a harder time expressing their feelings, simply because it is harder for them than it is for women to know with certainty what they feel. We cling to everything we see in seconds, we love animals, plants, children, the elderly, commercials, we love everyone, loving is our specialty. They are not like that, and when they ask themselves if they love her with “the same intensity” – something that is one hundred percent subjective, because only those who have the feeling can judge how much they love another person – they can feel that they do not deserve it, and instead of bringing them closer, you push them away.
“How easy it was to touch the sky for the first time, when kisses were the starter that turned on the light that disappears today” , says the chorus of “Fueste Tú”, illustrating how easy it is to fail something that transported us to the heaven.
