Loving someone seems easy, having the person you love close by is feeling alive and able to give your life for them. Yes, it may seem simple, but it is not.
There is nothing easy about sharing life with someone other than you. Loving makes you feel a set of emotions; still, you cannot deny that, several times a week, the two realize that they are losing control.
You can be very similar or very different; from time to time there will be conflicts, this is inevitable. Yes, the fact that they love each other does not make them immune to anger or differences. Overcoming them and continuing to love each other is the challenge of every marriage .
The sad thing is that many couples today stop showing love after a short period of living together. Sometimes eight or fifteen months of marriage are not enough for a couple to adapt to everyday life. Five or eight years is not enough to know if they can rely on the difficult times that may arise.
Today’s weddings should be like those of the past
In the past, our grandparents’ marriages, those that emerged in the 1940s or 1950s, knew how to fight to fix what went wrong. Yes, they knew how to fight and strive to be happy, despite crises of all kinds. Our grandparents were not afraid to ask for forgiveness, to say what they thought without getting hurt.
There is a story in which a young woman worried about marriage went to ask her grandmother, who was 40 years old, for advice. She asked her grandmother how she had managed to stay with her grandfather for so long. The old lady replied that it was not because they were not angry or had no problems; the point is that they were taught to fix things when they went bad, and not to throw them away.
In fact, past marriages lasted because couples struggled to solve their problems. They preferred to talk, rather than punish themselves with indifference. Couples in our grandparents’ days told each other how much they loved each other; they supported themselves in crises and did not disallow each other in front of their children.
Nothing is perfect
Not that past marriages were perfect, of course not. There were also financial problems, disagreements with the children, in-laws and brothers-in-law that generated discord. This has always existed and will always exist, except that the grandparents talked, worked hard, worked hard and established limits . Only in cases of domestic violence did many women contemplate such disapproved divorce; otherwise, they just endured it in silence.
Not that I’m saying you should stay in your violent marriage, no. At that time, there was social and family stigma, women were financially dependent on their husbands; everything was very different.
What I want you to understand is that if there is something to fix at your wedding, do it. Life is neither easy nor simple when you are alone, nor is it when you have a love to share your efforts. However, when you have someone you love by your side, it can be easier to guide your life if you find a compromise.
Anything can end up generating a crisis
A supreme act of dishonesty on the part of the spouse is not necessary. One small wrong step is enough for a crisis to arise and the relationship is on a tightrope.
Forgetting a special date can trigger a crisis as much as losing a job. Just as failing to tell your spouse that you ended up meeting an ex (and he hears from a third party) can lead to conflict. It is enough that something, from your spouse’s perspective, is serious for a problem to form.
So a good idea to avoid nonsense problems is to always speak honestly. Another way is not to make assumptions , but to always ask what you don’t know. These two points will avoid many future problems.
A marriage must be assumed by mature people
Maturity is not about age. If so, many marriages in the past would not have lasted long, as people, in the middle of the last century, used to get married very young.
Maturity is something mental and character. That is why the marriages that last the longest are those made up of people capable of talking, being humble and assuming their mistakes . Furthermore, people who love each other don’t mind giving in a little and pleasing their spouses, they do it because they know that if they are happy, they will be happy too.
Marriage is not expected to be a model of happiness created by perfect people who do not take offense and support everything without complaint. Marriage is a society in which the couple sets out to grow, negotiate, love, have fun, be angry and forgive mistakes. If the couple is willing to live all these experiences and stay together, then they can say that they have overcome all crises
