Daily life consists of various struggles. For a person who is surrounded by various relationships and lives a life tightly surrounded by various statuses and roles, being able to convince other people actually makes things easier and allows him to stand out.
“Et tu, Brute?” According to legend, when Julius Caesar was attacked by a group of angry senators and saw Brutus among those who stabbed him in the back, he stopped resisting with this word meaning “You too, Brutus?” The phrase “You too?” or “Even you?” concealed a small conjunction that determined the line between the struggle for survival and surrendering to death.
THOSE WHO ARE NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE…
Here, sometimes, while struggling with various waves, a small moment renders the whole struggle meaningless. It is possible to be prepared and alert against the enemy while fighting against various enemies. It is possible to be motivated and capable of fighting them. However, a friendly hand that pulls from behind or turns away, no matter how soft and harmless, is enough to destroy, to cut off hand and foot. A friend, a companion, a spouse, because it does not take away any strength. It does not tire, on the contrary, it rests. Therefore, he is not like everyone else. The need to feel this issue not only in a struggle for survival, in a war, in a difficulty; but in every moment of daily life is apparent. Because daily life is also a war to the fullest extent.
YOU ARE NOT CONVINCED, YOU ARE BELIEVED
Similarly, trying to establish trust in the people you see next to you as if they were strangers is enough to make you weak. Daily life consists of various struggles. For a person who is surrounded by various relationships and lives a life tightly wrapped by various statuses and roles, being able to convince other people actually makes things easier and makes them stand out. It may be desirable for someone to think like you, to believe what you believe or want to make you believe, to behave as you want. The content of being able to convince even leads to the ability to be loved and admired. However, it does not end with having this. We wish that this only remains within the boundaries we draw and does not turn into an endless movement. Let’s not make an endless effort to convince. Let me convince the boss at work, the customer in the store, the manager in the office… Let me go to the interview and convince the commission that I am what they are looking for. Let me fall in love with someone and convince them to know me for a second. While a part of the day has already been ruined by these efforts, after the sun sets, I will retreat into my shell. I will not convince anyone. I will stay like that, let everyone believe whatever they want. That shell, that safe harbor is not just loneliness. The place to return to is home. And there is a house like that where you can convince without lifting a finger when you return. Because you have not convinced, you have been believed. Where you are heard without saying, where you convince without telling, where you tell by looking… It is such a heart that whatever you say is what it is. Man is this lack.
CONVINCING REQUIRES EFFORT!
Convincing is tiring because it requires effort. It is tiring because it makes you feel that your reliability needs confirmation and effort. In trade, bureaucracy, official communication, why would anyone trust you, effort is essential, of course. However, convincing your spouse, friend, comrade is like falling into bed exhausted from the day and getting tired to sleep.
WHAT MAN LACKS: TRUST
When the Messenger of Allah said on Mount Safa “If I told you that there is an enemy army behind that mountain, would you believe me?” it was not the trust of the polytheists who said “Yes, we would believe you. Because we have never heard you lie until today.” Because this trust has a precedent. There is a trust built over forty years. Moreover, it is a trust that is turned away when the next sentence is the notification… What a person lacks is the trust of Hazrat Khadija who said “Even if no one believes, I will believe.” And she believed… This is what a person wants to encounter when he returns home. The house here is not the place, it is Hazrat Khadija. The issue is not to be burdened by trying to convince. While making an effort to convince everyone is tiring, it is to be believed without making an effort. In other words, it is for someone not to be everyone for you. It is for there to be someone who is not everyone in your life. It is not the one who does not believe without seeing with his own eyes, but the one who does not believe even if he sees with his own eyes. The one who does not value his eyes more than you, who packs his suitcase before you tell him the way, who asks “How are you?” to console him. “, is the one who does not ask, when there is smoke coming out of a place where there is no fire, you do not even see fog in his eyes. Someone asks you for proof. “Show me proof and I will believe” he says, either overtly or implicitly. Everyone knows that someone who is not there, but knowing is less than believing. If I see proof, I know, believing is much more than that. It does not ask for proof.
AN ENTRY NOT TO BE MISSED
Man is the lack of this, because trusting and being trusted are much rarer than being able to convince. As İoanna Kuçuradi said, “In order to trust, one needs to meet a trustworthy person with a trustworthy person; it is not enough for someone to be trustworthy.”1 Again, as she said, “This encounter should not be missed because sometimes it can pass you by.” Convincing is tiring, what a person needs is this unmissable encounter that will relax them.
