Feeling stuck in life is a relatively common situation. Almost all of us have, at some point, felt trapped in a place, role, relationship, or situation in which we don’t feel comfortable. Sure, feeling trapped isn’t pleasant.
We can feel deeply overwhelmed and depressed because we are unable to give our lives the boost we want. A feeling of sticky heaviness assails us which anchors us where we are and prevents us from moving in any direction. When that feeling is sustained over time, it can fuel a loss of meaning in life and end up turning into depression and helplessness.
The real reason you feel stuck in life
A thousand and one reasons can be given to explain the feeling of stagnation in life. Some may feel trapped in a monotonous job that does not provide them with the professional opportunities they desire, others in a relationship that has ceased to satisfy them and has become a source of conflict, and still others may feel trapped in a geographical or social context that is overwhelming for them. and depressing.
However, the truth is that when you feel stuck in life, you experience an unwanted paralysis which usually results from having spent too much time in an existential situation where there seems to be no way out, because when you look at the horizon you see no transcendental change.
Basically, feeling stuck is a result of believing that we should be something we are not. It’s the feeling you get when you think that life should be different than it is. So the feeling of paralysis is nothing but the distance between what you are and what you would like to be, between what happens and what you would like to happen. In a sense, feeling trapped is always the expression of a vital dissatisfaction with who we are or where we are, when we cannot see the way out to reach the ideal situation.
After many months of pandemic and monotony, it is not uncommon for that feeling of stagnation to linger in the environment and many people feel that they have not been able to move forward, experience new things, discover new places or even get excited. Routine is the soil where feelings of stagnation grow.
On the other hand, the lifestyle we lead can also amplify the feeling of paralysis. As the philosopher Byung-Chul Han says, the society of tiredness leads us to self-exploitation, which produces a state of permanent existential tiredness that makes it difficult for us to manifest our vital impulse and seek something meaningful that satisfies us and points us in a direction beyond work and social obligations.
What to do when you feel stuck in life?
- Surrender yourself to the feeling of paralysis
If you feel stuck, acknowledge and accept this feeling. The worst thing you can do is get entangled in the web of “shoulds” or “shoulds”. If you relax and surrender to that feeling, you will enter a period of tranquility where things will start to flow.
Take note of the thoughts and feelings you have when you feel existentially stuck or sense that something is wrong. If you accept that feeling, it won’t trap you. You have to understand that this is just a label you put on a moment in your life that didn’t meet the expectations you had.
Accepting that you feel trapped won’t make the uncomfortable feelings magically go away, but at least they won’t overwhelm you to the point of ruining your life. The curious fact is that when you accept being blocked, a miracle happens: you will stop being blocked because you have taken a step out of the vicious circle you were in.
- Be prepared to make decisions
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time,” said Albert Einstein. This means that if you want to break out of stagnation, you have to do something different to generate the desired change. If you stick to the routine, the feeling of paralysis will not go away on its own.
Of course, making a decision is not easy. If you’re paralyzed, it’s probably because you let yourself get carried away by circumstances without making any decisions. You got carried away with the flow of events because it was the simplest solution. But to break out of that cycle you have to ask yourself: what is bothering you about that situation? What doesn’t suit you? What things have become a source of unhappiness? Is it right that you settle for that situation?
So, embark on the path of change. What can you do to get out of that context? Examine your circumstances and think about what you can do right now to let go of the frustration you are experiencing. Barring very extreme situations, something can always be done. What would inspire you? What would make you happy? What would make you feel like you are advancing in life?
The key is making small decisions that get you where you want to be. You may not be able to switch from the current state to the desired one in the blink of an eye. Don’t despair, just take small actions that will take you out of your current apathy and bring you closer to the situation you want.
- Embrace spontaneity and have fun
Erich Fromm thought that spontaneity is a reflection of the impulse of life, which is meant to flow freely. When the flow is blocked, usually because we try to fit into society and meet the expectations of others, we stop responding to our impulses, we disconnect from ourselves and a distance is created between what we want and what we do.
Over time, as the distance widens, we lose spontaneity and the ability to enjoy ourselves. Then we feel stuck. For this reason, one of the strategies to rediscover the will to live and re-immerse yourself in the flow of life is to rediscover spontaneity.
When you feel like doing something, do it! Connect with your inner impulses and give them the opportunity to express themselves. If you feel like dancing, writing, painting, traveling… start doing it without asking yourself why. In fact, we shouldn’t look for any excuse or reason to have fun and enjoy life.
The most spontaneous and creative activities have no other purpose than to make us feel good. They usually have no purpose, but are ends in themselves. The truth is, there’s always something to do when you feel stuck because all areas of your life aren’t completely paralyzed. A small push in one area can snowball the rest of the spheres and get you moving again.
In any case, remember that feeling stuck is just a period, like so many others in life. Sometimes we don’t go at cruising speed. Sometimes we need to stop or even go in circles. There’s nothing wrong with that. The feeling of always moving forward is just an illusion and creates unnecessary pressure. It is possible that this paralysis is only external because the changes necessary to take the next step in life are taking place within you.
