Love is everywhere. In literature, in the cinema, in music … And also in each stage of our life. It is always presented in a different way, but it influences our way of seeing the world. It is a feeling that we do not know how to explain, and that can change us completely.
But at each stage of our life and our relationships we feel a different love that evolves. For this reason, in this article we are going to talk about the different types of love that we can experience in a couple .
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Contents
- TYPES OF LOVE ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY
- Eros, romantic love
- Ludus, playful love
- Storge, friendly love
- Pragma, practical love
- Agape, altruistic love
- Mania, obsessive love
- TYPES OF LOVE ACCORDING TO GREEK PHILOSOPHY
- Philia, brotherly love
- Philautia, self love
TYPES OF LOVE ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY
Throughout history, philosophers and psychologists have tried to understand love. In 1973 sociologist and activist John Alan Lee published the book Colors of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving . In it he exposed the idea of the colors of love. He said that, like the primary colors, there are three main forms of love , which are mixed to create secondary forms. In this way, he established 6 words to define love:
Eros, romantic love
In Greek mythology, Eros was the god of love and lust . Hence, in fact, comes the term ‘eroticism’. So Eros is romantic and sexual love. It is passionate, both emotionally and physically, and usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship. It is lived in a very intense way, in the good and the bad, and has a great intimate component. The well-known “love at first sight” is also considered Eros, so it has a somewhat superficial component. This is the romantic love that we see in art, film and literature. For this reason, eros lovers often tend to idealize their partner or their relationship.
Ludus, playful love
Ludus lovers see love as fun . For them, the exciting thing is conquest, and they don’t mind playing with people or cheating to get what they want. They tend to seek short or uncompromising relationships, and avoid emotional ties.
Storge, friendly love
Storge love is born from closer and more committed relationships, like friendship or siblings. In fact, the Greeks used this word to speak of love between family members . Storge couples usually form after meeting for a time, and usually share common interests and tastes.
Passion takes second place, since love is not based on the sexual part, but trust and commitment prevail. This makes relationships lasting and there is great empathy in the couple.
These are the three main types of love that John Alan Lee posed . But when mixed together they resulted in 3 more types:
Pragma, practical love
This love does not have to be born from romantic or passionate love , but from a realistic vision of relationships. They are couples looking for common goals and objectives in life, to maintain a lasting relationship and have a future together. They seek commitment, so they are interested in people with similar values and with whom they share interests.
Agape, altruistic love
It is a mixture of romantic love with friendly . The result is a pure and sincere love, a relationship in which giving in is not a problem. Agape people have no problem with jealousy and possessiveness , and always try to improve their relationship, both emotionally and sexually. These relationships are often selfless and unconditional .
Mania, obsessive love
It is the mixture of playful love with sexual love . It is an extremely possessive love, what is known as a “toxic relationship” . It starts from a strong emotional dependence and the thought that love brings pain. It usually leads to stormy relationships, with strong and frequent fights, jealousy and fear of abandonment.
According to the color theory, these 6 types of love could intermingle , giving rise to 9 more forms . But this is not the only theory that has been made about love.
TYPES OF LOVE ACCORDING TO GREEK PHILOSOPHY
According to Greek philosophy, there were 4 words that were attributed to the different representations of love . John Alan Lee relied on them for his theory and used two with almost the same meaning: the Eros and the Storge. There was also the Agape, which in this case was explained as love for family and children. In the Bible, however, it was the love that man feels towards god and god towards man. But Greek philosophy added two more:
Philia, brotherly love
It is the love that you feel towards a friend , in the form of loyalty, affection and camaraderie. Unlike eros, it is not guided by passion and it is not lived with such intensity. However, it is formed by a bond between the two people . In the Bible this term includes solidarity and love of neighbor.
Philautia, self love
This is the love we feel for ourselves . It is self-esteem, away from narcissism, and part of the thought that, to give love to others, we must first love ourselves. It is about understanding and caring to feel good about yourself .
Love, like everything, must be cared for to work. But, as we have just seen, not everyone is so open about their feelings. If this is your case, you may be interested in our article Why is it so hard for us to say “I love you”?
It is likely that during your life you have experienced more than one of these types of love. Do you recognize yourself now in one? Tell us in the comments , we can’t wait to read it!
