Here we are, another wonderful day of ruining our eyes on the internet.
Superstition… Last night I saw Easy Girl, a teen movie starring Emma Stone. It’s a pretty bad movie but Stanley Tucci is really tough in this film. Anyway, I fell asleep halfway through the movie so I don’t know how it ends.
Well, all this to earn a few lines in the introduction of today’s list, dedicated to the superstitious. Nobody reads the introduction anyway, and if someone does, they will appreciate the uselessness of the lines above.
Here is the list of things that only those who believe in superstition will understand.
#1. The crotch area of all your pants is ruined from the number of times you scratch them.
#2. If you’re with a girl and a hearse passes by, you force her to touch her left breast.
#3. Before an exam you have to go through a complicated ritual, if you make a mistake or forget even just one small detail you don’t show up.
#4. When you’re in the car and a black cat crosses the road, you slow down.
#5. You got arthritis in your hands from making horns.
#6. When you see a van full of nuns you panic.
#7. You and your friends have a list of people in your city to avoid.
#8. When you have an important appointment, you are capable of wearing your now-ragable good luck sweatshirt from middle school.
#9. When you find a four-leaf clover you hyperventilate with happiness.
#10. Your car is full of croissants.
#11. When you go out with a new girl she thinks you’re a jerk because you spend most of your time touching yourself.
#12. On Friday the 17th you don’t leave the house.
#13. Always wear a belt with an iron buckle, just in case.
#14. Before every match of your favorite team you always affirm with conviction that they will lose.
#15. You don’t have any mirrors in your house.
#16. As De Filippo said, “Being superstitious is a sign of great ignorance, but not being superstitious brings bad luck”
