What is happiness? Happiness cannot be touched, nor can it be seen … But it can be felt. When someone is happy in front of us we notice it, and when he is not happy… we also know it. As parents, our greatest desire is to see our children happy, to know that they are doing well and that they are satisfied with the life they lead.
One of the many questions that parents may have when raising their children is whether they are really happy or not. How can you tell if your child is really happy? Actually, there is a tool that allows us to know if children are happy and we want to share it with you so that you can know it too.
The happiness
Happiness is not a goal, it is a path. It has to do with enjoying the little things, feeling loved by the people who are most important to you, etc. In short, it is feeling satisfied with life, not having any kind of suffering or need. There are also other elements that can help achieve that happiness such as achieving dreams in life, enjoying what you do, etc.
Happiness is something relative and subjective, this means that two people in the same circumstances do not have to feel equally happy. There are children who always seem happy with little and others who with much, not so much. Although the circumstances can vary and the degree of happiness also.
There are some important things for a child to feel good: health, home, education, food, clothing, protection, love, respect, harmony at home, good relationships with others, a parenting respectful of their needs, a healthy relationship with his parents and siblings, etc. It is also important that children are taught values that give them a good vision of life, skills necessary to be successful, etc. Although there are factors that depend on the child and his personality and temperament, the vast majority of factors depend on the environment, upbringing, the home environment and his family, etc.
The wish test
This test consists of asking your child some simple questions that will allow us to know the level of happiness they have depending on the answer they offer us. The star question is:
“If you could make three wishes, any wish! Which ones would you ask for? “
From this question, the child’s answers will guide you to know if he is really happy or not. Your answers can be classified in different ways so that you can see how you feel.
Responses that indicate happiness
A child who is happy will give you answers like:
- A pet
- An ice cream
- A toy
- A super power
- Go to a park or special place, etc.
Responses indicating sensitivity
If a child is especially sensitive (and is not as happy as the children who give answers to the previous point) you will receive answers like:
- May there be peace in the world
- May your family be happy
- That your loved ones do not get sick
- That there are no bad people
- That there is no world poverty, etc.
Responses that indicate worry or emotional instability
There are answers that can give you clues that your child is feeling sad, stressed or not feeling happiness inside. In this case, it will be important to take it into account to find a solution that rebalances the child’s emotional state. A child who is restless or worried will tell you responses like:
- That my parents do not fight
- That we have more money
- Don’t get mad at me
- Have more friends
- Have a better body
- Be smarter, etc.
These answers should not be missed as they clearly show you the insecurity and fears of your children, thoughts that do not allow them to be well, or satisfied with the life they lead. If you receive any of these responses, you will have to find the solution to the circumstances that affect your children in this way.
Their answers tell you about their feelings
Even if it is abstractly and you must intuit what is happening to your child, it is important to be aware that what he is telling you is his feelings. They may not yet have the ability to understand their emotions, but the reality is that the answer they give you is enough to know what their true feelings are.
There is an alternative that you can use in case you think your child is emotionally mature enough to answer. This consists of asking him directly if he is happy and also asking him why he thinks what he thinks. It is important that as parents, you remember that your main duty is to teach children to find happiness and to be able to enjoy life.
