The relationship between sex and sport can be seen from 3 different angles:
1) if sport is healthy to maintain an active and full sexual life.
2) if sport is detrimental to sexual performance.
3) if sexual relations prior to a competition are detrimental to athletic performance.
4) if suffering from some type of sexual dysfunction (premature ejaculation, impotence, anorgasmias, sexual identity crisis, sexual phobias) decreases performance in sports.
Starting with this series of notes we will take the first point: we know that physical activity can be an anti-stress factor and source of pleasure by releasing endorphins (which translates into a better state of mind) but it should be clarified that some are more beneficial than others for sexual and general health. For example: aerobic practices (jogging, brisk walking, swimming, rowing) improve blood pressure (as well as lower salt intake), increase HDL cholesterol (popularly known as “good cholesterol”), waste calories – which can translate into a lower weight-, they improve glucose tolerance (in other words: they lower blood glucose, which especially helps diabetics), they open the collaterals of the coronary arteries, which prevents or minimizes heart problems,
In short: they reduce cardiovascular risk factors and if, as we know, sexual functioning depends on a good mood, a blood pressure within normal parameters, that metabolic values (cholesterol, triglycerides and blood glucose) are in range and that the arteries are patent, we can infer that a healthy sexual life also depends on all these factors, directly or indirectly. On the other hand, competitive sports in people over 40 or 50, untrained, such as tennis single, soccer or basketball (beyond being wonderful) can lead to risky situations both in the cardiovascular area and in the locomotor system. In this sense, I never tire of saying, in classes or in articles and notes, that it is not very healthy, at those ages (especially in men who are at higher risk), make love or play a competitive sport after eating, as unpleasant situations can arise. Better the banquet after sex!
Mens sana in corpore sana, the axiom went. I believe that taking care of our body with moderate physical activities, to which care is added in the diet, keeping weight, using antioxidants together with the elimination of cigarettes and other toxins, give us a better quality of life and a healthier and prolonged erotic life.
Continuing with this series of notes we will take the following question: if sport is detrimental to sexual performance. In this aspect we can see different facets: the one that sublimates in physical activity in an obsessive way, putting all the libido in “the devices”, in sports competition. We have seen patients with sexual problems who channeled all their erotic energy into a compulsive and exclusive sport. There are the other individuals who “kill themselves” with physical and sports activities and then come to the sexual act surrendered, when not hurt and injured. We see this in many men in their forties or fifties who think they can play soccer around 20: the result is that at night they go to bed exhausted and exhausted. They are more for an immersion bath and the kinesiologist than to make love, because it is difficult for them to recover. Doctors know well that back pain or lumbociatalgia are famous enemies of sex: pelvic movements will elicit a whimper, no doubt. It is different when these men do moderate physical activity: especially stretching or aerobic type, or play a game of double tennis, volleyball or golf. Young people, on the other hand, have, we well know, greater flexibility and resistance, with better and faster recovery later.
If sports activity is moderate, we know that it improves mood, peripheral circulation, the release of endorphins, the best connection with the body, keeping it plastic and in line. It will always be a greater communion with eroticism and as the poet Walt Whitman said: “the questions of the body are also those of the soul, I maintain that they are the soul.” It is in this sense, connecting with movement and better respiratory and circulatory function, sometimes in contact with nature, with vital energy and body expansion, with better muscle tone, also contributes to better eroticism.
Returning to the starting point: I do not believe that frustrations or sexual failures (or frank dysfunctions: impotences, premature ejaculation, phobias and advanced virginities, anorgasmias, vaginismus, decreased sexual desire) can be hidden with compulsive and fanatical practice of sports . I think that an activity, sexual, should not be replaced by sports, although many may prefer one to the other, or the other way around: perhaps someone will one day more want to go out for a run, play volleyball or soccer, or ride rollers than to make love, but another day, with a good fitness, intoned and stimulated, they will be able to throw themselves in the arms of Eros with passion, lust and corporal dedication, forgetting, for a few moments, that other love, healthy and invigorating: the wonderful love for sports.
Ending with this series of notes, we will take the following questions: if sexual relations prior to a competition are detrimental to sports performance and if athletes also have sexual problems or dysfunctions .
It is quite widespread the belief that “as sex weakens” it is not advisable to do it in the hours or days before the competition. We know that an orgasm involves a cardiovascular expense similar to climbing two flights of stairs at a rapid pace, and that a person recovers quickly from it. If this were not the case, no one could go to work, dance or study after intercourse. We know that it can give a certain drowsiness (famous complaint of women regarding their partners who fall asleep after orgasm but that does not prevent later doing the corresponding activities. But, now, if the belief, the myth, the kabbalah or whatever you like Being called, says that “it is not good to make love before, because it weakens and makes you perform less”, that belief has its weight and will condition, as a self-fulfilling prophecy, the attitude or future sports performance.
Let’s not forget that until not many years ago there was still talk of all the evils that masturbation produced. And I mention this topic, which I have developed profusely in my books, especially in “Sex and the man of today” (Editorial Emecé, 2001) because as many times athletes are young, almost teenagers, masturbation (both female and male) is usually a frequent path of sexuality product of the repression and coercion of the coaches (and let’s remember the famous concentrations). Unless prostitutes or wives and girlfriends enter (in this case I am referring to men), there would not be many resources left to our young athletes other than autoerotic resources.
I have heard from different footballers, boxers, tennis players – many of them famous – that they referred to masturbating or having sex before competitions, even as a cabal, although perhaps we should think that it was a way to neutralize the anguish in the face of the tremendous demand.
Hence, many delegations allowed concentrations with wives and husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends, or homosexual couples. Others have strictly forbidden it.
But I say again: if the belief, the paradigm as it is said now, is that the sexual act before the game weakens, it will surely condition that athlete in a negative way, beyond knowing that the energy expenditure is easily recoverable. Of course, sexophobic behaviors also prevail in sport and myths and falsehoods continue to be upheld, at least publicly and, behind, what is officially prohibited or repressed is carried out. But what is censored or inhibited on one side comes out on the other – “what is not spoken is acted upon,” Lacan said – and thus hypocritical and controlling attitudes are maintained. From there to hear a manager of soccer players say: “we try to marry them off youngsters so that they do not engage in revelry and do not hang out at night, also that way the wives control them better”, there is a short step, as a way to discipline the libido and the enormous wealth and erotic potential that a teenager has. Which from what we know is not always effective, although some young people suffer their sexual and psychological conflicts in silence and see, many of them, frustrate their sports careers by not being able to find a space where they can work out their problems. Several times some soccer players told me: “in our field it is not seen with good eyes that a player goes to the psychiatrist or the psychologist, less to the sexologist”. A new variant of “suffer and do not cry, that a macho man should not cry”. Of course, like anyone else, athletes can suffer from erective dysfunction, premature or delayed ejaculation, anorgasmias and vaginismus, sexual identity crisis, phobias, decreased desire, or have conflicts with their partner.
I heard a player say, glory of Brazilian football, that in them the public put all the illusions, expectations, their own frustrations and what the fans thought least was that this player could have lost a relative, had a relationship crisis or suffering from a psychological or sexual problem. Years ago I had the opportunity to give some talks at the technical school of the Argentine Football Association (AFA), some of whom directed teams from the lower ranks, and they told me about the different concerns of the young men they directed: masturbation, background of sexual abuse, promiscuity in their family environment, rapes, fear of debut, phobias and sexual fears, and these technicians told me of their anguish because they did not know what to tell them, what to explain and answer them.
Being able to share sexual problems with a trusted friend, a competent professional, or read a sexuality education book is an index of strength and not weakness. I think the greatest strength lies in asking for help, in being able to say: I don’t know, but I want to know; I can’t, but I will.
