Many of you who accompany me tell their life stories and open their hearts about marriage. I feel honored to hear and read your testimonies, and today I decided to bring you another incredible story from my student Helen Caetano.
She tells how to save the marriage in the midst of a crisis. Watch below:
Today we will talk about:
· Inferiority complex;
· How to deal with failure;
· Female empowerment.
Do you think that only your marriage is in crisis?
Know that it is not so.
A survey carried out last year by the Ministry of Health with eight thousand people between 15 and 64 years old showed that 11% of married people have not had sex for at least a year and one of the main reasons for this is the wear and tear of routine.
How to save the marriage? See below!
Inferiority complex: how self-concept destroys your relationship
Some experiences when you were a child often cause you to create a rejection of yourself, to recognize your own values, and this inability to feel loved reflects in your relationship.
Another factor that generates self-prejudice and a feeling of inferiority and incapacity is overcharging yourself. How many times have you done your best and not been recognized?
Or how many times have you tried to do what you could, but “failed”?
Well … Know that life does not require much, and I speak to you as someone who has had many frustrating experiences: we will make mistakes, even trying to do the best, and that is part of our growth.
Symptoms of the inferiority complex:
– Habit to compare yourself with others and envy ;
– Search all the time for recognition;
– Excessive concern with people’s opinions;
– Habit to escape situations for fear of trying;
– Isolation;
– Difficulty in relating openly with other people;
– Low self-esteem;
– Victimism;
– Perfectionism.
How to get rid of the feeling of inferiority
- Stop comparing yourself
You are not, and you will not be, like anyone else.
Stop making that your life goal.
Being equal to the other person is impossible, and if you want to be someone better, you have to become aware of who you are, what you have and learn to value what you have in the present. Always wanting the best of yourself should be your focus.
- Recognize your value
Understand that everyone has virtues and things to improve, including you.
What you should improve can, and should, be worked on over time, but take your eyes off what is wrong.
Learn to recognize what you have built up to today, the woman you are and the values you have, as they are what will make you achieve your goals.
- Get rid of limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are those things that we believe are true in our lives, but in reality, they are things that society, or ourselves, put in our heads.
For example: I will never find great love, I will never relate again because I already have children, I am too old to start over …
That kind of nonsense.
Understand that these patterns do not exist, you can find great love at any stage of life. Learn to replace these beliefs with positive thoughts.
Don’t stop yourself from growing and improving simply because you don’t think you are capable.
Thinking you can’t do it is a mistake. And how I see it happening with women who come to me!
They have problems in the relationship because they have problems with themselves.
Stop charging so much, the perfect woman does not exist, in fact, there is no one perfect. Knowing how to deal with day-to-day situations and how to deal with what you heard and hurt you is a daily exercise that cannot be left out.
You deserve to be happy without bearing guilt for not being something they want you to be.
How to deal with failure
The failure is a feeling that everyone has faced in life.
The difference is in how each one faces failure. Many women who come to me say that they are in a failed marriage and do not know how to deal with it.
Let’s look at some of the reasons that can lead to marriage failure:
- Lack of compatibility : when the couple’s goals are different and they diverge on basic issues;
- Lack of communication : this is one of the main problems between couples. Dialogue is the main tool for couples to understand their differences, fix their mistakes and find out more about each other;
- Lack of intimacy : when one of the two begins to give up sex and lets it become routine. The lack of sex between the couple is one of the biggest factors of divorce in Brazil;
- Financial mismanagement : when either, or both, have trouble controlling spending;
- When the role of mother or father becomes greater or more important than that of wife or husband.
Nobody likes to know that it failed, that it invested in something that didn’t work, especially when it is the marriage itself.
Couples go through crises, and this is normal, because it is from them that you will come out strengthened, but not letting the feeling of failure take over you is fundamental.
For this, some attitudes such as knowing the best time to talk and not live fighting, looking for ways to better understand each other in a conversation, forgive their failures (after all, you also have yours, right?) And give new air to the relationship to get out of the rut are little things that can help in a time of frustration.
Women’s empowerment
The concept is relatively new, but the practice is already an old one, especially among women.
The struggle for gender equality, equal pay, the end of violence against women and the end of the culture of rape and machismo is again at one of its peaks and this reflects a lot in women’s lives and in their relationships.
With these struggles, women came to understand more about the concept of freedom: women are free to wear the clothes they want, to have the job they want, and above all, they are free in the sexual area.
The female orgasm was taboo for a long time, and so many women have suffered, and suffer sexual rebuke and therefore your enjoyment is limited.
It is not for nothing that I receive many emails talking about the difficulty of loosening in bed …
Empowerment is a struggle for all people, not just for women, and it is very important to understand this struggle both for women to have equal employment conditions and for you to be free at home, within your relationships and at the time of sex.
